Dear Carol

What to do when you *actually* have no friends

Dear Carol,
I have no friends. I’d do anything for one good friend. I don’t want to sit alone at lunch. People say, “Just talk to someone,” but it’s not that easy.

Dear Friendless,
It’s not that easy, but it’s not impossible either. Try these suggestions.

#1. Notice if there is anyone new in school who may not have lots of friends yet and ask what she misses about her old school and likes about this one.

#2. Say hi to at least four girls each day and try starting a conversation by saying “That test was hard, didn’t you think?” or “Want a piece of gum?” or “Did you hear that…?”

#3. Join ballet, jazz ensemble, science club, yearbook, lacrosse, tap dancing, something!

#4. Call someone at home and ask about homework. Talking on the phone can be easier than in person, and you can even scribble a few conversation topics down ahead of time—I’ll never tell.

It takes courage, but if you are friendly (not clingy), and if you get to know people and let them know you, you will make friends. Keep noticing which girls seem happy to talk with you (versus the ones who act like they’re doing you a favor) and which make you laugh (versus the ones who make you feel stupid). Then don’t hang around the stuck-up crowd—even if they are considered popular.

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by Carol Weston | 2/11/2018
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