LIFE

Dear Carol,
My parents were going to get a divorce because my dad sexually abused me. It was without me knowing it was abuse, I just grew up that way. Well, he told my mom he would take counseling and that he would stop. For a while I wasn't allowed to do anything with him—even stay home alone with him. Then it started going back to how it used to be, but my mom still doesn't even notice. If I don't sit in his lap, he gets mad, and he always wants a hug and a kiss on the lips. And he's always touching my butt. He touches it at least 20 times a day. And when I get new bras or underwear, he says, "You gonna model it for me?" I don't have a little girl body anymore! I really want to talk to my mom about this, but I feel like I can't.
—Abused by Dad

Dear Abused by Dad,
Wow, your dad's behavior is so out of bounds. Talk to your mom immediately. You've already broached the subject, so be clear about what's going on. You do not have to sit in your dad's lap, let alone model underwear for him! Please know that you are not to blame. Your dad is the adult who crossed the line, and it was unfair of him to let his problem become your problem. When you were little, you didn't have the words. Now you do. Tell your dad, "Stop touching me," or "Hands off," or "No more kisses," or “Cut it out.” You should not have to put up with this and I'm sorry your mom has been in denial. If she won't leave your dad, or help you feel safer, is there a grandparent or aunt or friend you can live with? For more help, call the Covenant House at 800-999-9999.

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by Carol Weston | 4/29/2018