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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

35 Comments | Add Yours

Don't panic! What to do when you're freakin' out

 

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Just when everything seems to be groovy—kaboom!—life tosses you an icky curve ball. Maybe it’s a school crisis. Or your BFF is icing you. Or, yikes, someone told your BFF that your BF is kinda over you. But you don’t have to panic at the first hint of Big Trouble. Learn to think your way out of any surprise scenario—freakout-free!

 

Believe in the power of you

Take a deep breath, and tell yourself, “I’m smart and strong enough to handle this—no sweat!” Then don’t doubt yourself for a sec. Having faith in your ability to take care of biz clears your head so you can brainstorm a solution.

 

Face the prob

Don’t go all ostrich and stick your head in the sand, hoping everything will magically disappear. Be real about what has happened, and resolve to take action. That said, don’t strain your brain worrying about silly stuff that won’t amount to a hill o’ beans. So you turned up at the Spring Fling in the same dress as that evil cheerleader Cara. Who cares?

 

Get the 411

It’s super-important to gather the info you need to scope out the sitch. Rumor has it that your basketball coach is benching you for the next few games? Before you freak, you need to get the facts straight. Go to the coach and tell her what you heard. You might discover that it was just a bogus rumor. But if the coach tells you it’s true? Talk to her about why she’s sidelining you, and get pointers as to what you need to do to get back on the court.

  

Don’t stress or obsess

When you’re socked with a shocker, it’s natural to want to run the scenario over and over in your mind, trying to figure out exactly why things went down the way they did. Don’t torture yourself! Rotten stuff just happens sometimes.

Say your BF Jason drops you for another girl. Sure, it’s gonna bum you out, but talking about it with a bud can really help. Know that you can’t worry about it 24/7. It’s crucial to keep the rest of your life chugging along strong. Stay positive by focusing on your favorite activities—hanging with your girls, keeping up with Veronica Mars, relaxing in a yummy vanilla-scented bubble bath.

 

Increase the peace

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a sitch is to make peace with it. With certain things in life, you can’t affect the outcome. If your ’rents tell you the fam’s moving 3,000 miles away, then that’s what’s gonna happen. Rather than losing it, get excited about the future. Just think about all the new friends you’re gonna make and all the new things you’re gonna be able to see and do! It sounds corny but, sometimes, what looks like the end of the world actually turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to you.

                                          

Get your game on

Life will always be unpredictable. Don’t bother wishing your brains out that nothing bad will ever happen to you—instead, know that you can take control of most icky sitches. Are you calm? For sure. Have the facts? Indeed. Clear on what’s happening? Yep. Now, put your problem-solving plan into action. Then keep rockin’ and rollin’ at it until you feel better about what felt so bad. You are so up to the challenge!
 
 

Love this post? You’ll heart these, too!

» 10 signs your bestie kicks butt

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BY LISA MULCAHY ON 3/19/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN stress, stress busters, bust school stress

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MOD MOD MOD
My Uncle just told me he has a very far stage of cancer and there is nothing doctors can do and that he is dying, how do I cope?
P.S. I'm crying massive tears right now!

Hey girl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle, I can only imagine what you and your family are going through. Because we wish you and your family the best, it's important that you speak with a trusted adult--maybe a family member who understands how you're feeling, or a teacher, guidance counselor or doctor. They'll be able to show you professional ways to cope and will listen to you explain how you're feeling. It will help to talk to someone in person! And try to talk to your uncle or spend time with him if you can. For more resources, check out this link: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx. 
Meghan D.

report

by RCACsquad670 on 12/31/2012 8:40:31 PM

 
 

Well I am spending the weekend with my family because we found out a few weeks ago that my grandfather has brain cancer. Thats all everyone's talking about and that's not surprising, but everyone is really sad and crying and my grandma is so sad and I wasn't really accepting it until now. But I feel like I should be more upset. Is it a bad thing that I'm not as upset as everyone else? I'm sad and I love my grandpa to death, but I haven't cried and I feel heartless for it. I don't know what to do!

report

by Sunny79 on 9/8/2012 8:42:41 PM

 
 



mod mod mod!!
my life is falling apart. my great gramma is in the hospital with a problem with her lungs and is probably gunna die very soon and my grampa has stomach cancer...my mom is my rock and to see her so upset and crying all the time is horrible for me...is there anything i could do to make her a little more uplifted and positive?? thnxx

 

Hey! I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, that must be so hard. Give your mom lots of hugs and tell her you love her. she may have to be sad for a while, that's how the grieving process works, so just try to be supportive and understanding if she's upset. and remember, it's ok for you to cry too. I'm sending good thoughts your way, girl! 


Helen S.

report

by luvinlife12 on 8/20/2012 8:35:58 PM

 
 

Hey hifroyo, if you introduce him to your dad, he might change his mind. Maybe after school when your dad picks you up, bring him with you so they can see each other. Tell your dad you two are just friends and won't do anything too mature. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MODMODMOD
to start off im 11 there is this guy at school who i like and he makes it obvious that he likes me back. we have the same interests and he looks like niall from one direction.SCORE!!!! the thing is my dad wont let me date and i would completely lose his trust if i did and he found out. i know im young but if he asks me out hes sweet enough to agree to only hand holding and hugging. kissing can wait a while. the reason my dad wont let me date is cuz my sister got pregnant at 16 but he should know i wouldnt turn out like that cuz my catholic school teaches us more about that. i really like this guy and i dont want to leave him hangin. what should i do?!?!!?? Lynae P.

report

by hifroyo on 8/18/2012 5:13:17 AM

 
 








Hey girl, I'm very sorry to hear this. Please tell your mom ASAP, your friend may be mad at first, but he will appreciate it in the long run.  This is a serious matter and you can be very helpful.  If you don't want to tell your mom, please tell a trusted adult.  You can also trying calling the number at NINELINE.org it is anonymous and your call will not go on the phone bill. xxoo 
Maggie P.

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by albi on 8/2/2012 1:03:20 PM

 
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