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Family

GIRL TALK: Lack Of Communication

 

I really, really, really, want a cell phone. My parents won't let me get one. It's totally ridiculous. I am trustworthy, responsible, I got ALL A's and 1 B+, do extracurricular activities like sports and stuff, but they just won't get me one. I've tried discussing with them and giving them the reasons I should have one; like I can talk to them easier, I can call them and tell them of sudden changes in schedule, and when I'm at a game or a track meet I can call them and tell them what time the bus will be back. I can also call my friends without clogging up the house phone. But, whenever I try to maturely, calmly, nicely and politely discuss it with them, they get sarcastic and change the subject. They just don't care enough to listen, like they already have their minds set. How do I convince them to get me a cell phone?

 

-Anonymous

 

It’s a shame they won’t even give you the chance to actually have a serious conversation about it and hear you out. But it might be the way you’re approaching them. Before anything, make sure you’re not being whiny about it. Ask them if you could possibly plan a time to sit down with them and have a quiet, serious conversation about it. Schedule a “meeting” with them so you don’t end up catching them at a bad time.

Then, go prepared. Those reasons you have for getting a cell phone are good. But they may have other concerns that you’re not considering. So ask them for their reasons and hear them out. Let them have their turn to list all the reasons they’re against it, and then come back with a rebuttal (this will mean anticipating their reasons and maybe doing a little research). Remember to be respectful – after all, they are your parents and do make the rules. So try to sympathize and show you understand their concerns, but then give them solutions to those problems. If it’s money, present them with the idea of getting you a pre-paid phone with only so many minutes per month. Tell them you’ll even pay for part (or all) of it with your own money! (And then earn some money to pay for it!) Tell them doing it like this will also teach you to be responsible with your minutes and not waste them (because you’ll only get so many at a time so you better stretch them out).

If all else fails and you still can’t get them to budge, say that you understand if they’re not ready for you to have a cell phone yet, but ask them if you could maybe come to a compromise and decide on when you will be allowed to get one. Maybe they’ll feel more comfortable with it when you’re a few years older. Or maybe if you prove your responsibility by doing certain chores or keeping your grades up, they’ll be more open to considering it.

And don’t forget the power of holidays! Ask around Christmas or your birthday – times when they would usually be trying to think of gifts for you anyway – and they just might surprise you.


<3 Jessie M.

 

 

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BY ANDREA T. ON 5/31/2008 1:28:00 AM 119 COMMENTS

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119 READER COMMENTS

first comment? yay!

zhangerino on 5/31/2008 7:23:50 AM

Do I have the first comment? This would be my first time! Smile

hkidrox888 on 5/31/2008 7:26:28 AM

To get my cell I did all of my chores, cleaned my room, and took out the trash for a month. Then I talked to my parents and asked for a phone for Christmas. I also mentioned that since they already had a plan with a cell phone company that they could just add a line for a lower price than buying a new plan. Viola! A new cell was waiting for me on Christmas day under the tree! PS: Make sure to tell your parents which cell phones that you like

crazybananas16 on 5/31/2008 7:39:17 AM

good luck girl! my parents wont let me get a cell till i am 16- no bending the rule allowed. Frown but good luck 2 u!

shoppergirly5 on 5/31/2008 7:40:03 AM

MOD i like a guy but he is three years younger than me...idk what to do bc i like him a lot but it embarrassing to go out with a guy that young at our age


Hey girl, maybe you should continue liking him, but wait a little while for him to get older before you guys start dating. Or you can just forget what everything else thinks and go for it!
~Kristin

tootsie-roll on 5/31/2008 7:41:16 AM

i know how u feel chica!! like this sumer im gonna get over 3,000 dollars for babysitting (no joke) and i told my mom instead of getting a plain ipod or somthing maybe i can get one of those new ipod touches (or iphones as i call them) and she flipped out at me and said that i was too young.. i can pay the bills i can buy the phone and she wont even have to worry about it!! but she still doesnt listen.. maybe ill just get a rly nice ipod video with like 20 gigs on it!

Seymour_is_my_bud on 5/31/2008 7:44:10 AM

M~*~O~*~D~*~E~*~R~*~A~*~T~*~O~*~R am i too young for a cell phone? im 12 years old


Hey girl, that all depends on your parents and what they think. But no I don't thnk it would hurt to have one. Tell your parents you want to have it in case of emergencies and to keep in contact with them when you're out and about.
~Kristin

Seymour_is_my_bud on 5/31/2008 7:49:48 AM

i know how you feel! Frown
no matter what i do, my parents say NO and they say i can use the home phone. but they dont get that the home phone is not the same as a cell phone, so yeah... im not sure if they will ever give in for once. Frown

JonasBrothers_lover4ever on 5/31/2008 7:53:43 AM

I wish it was that simple. My sister got hers halfway through 8th grade because she had to get straight A's to earn it and even then she didn't, but so now I can't get one until then no matter how many straight A's I get (which has been every report card since kindergarten). They got a plan where they can't add a line, and they want to switch servers. Everyone says that I will get one for my birthday (in a week; my party was today) but that she makes me more depressed because they will never bend the rule. UGH I HATE MY PARENTS!

Abbyy on 5/31/2008 8:16:28 AM

Thats how my parents were! They finally got me one for Christmas this year! Laughing

tinkerbella on 5/31/2008 8:19:08 AM

dude. i got my cell no problem just before school finished, when i was in grade 5. i am in grade 7 now. i take my phone with me to school everyday, and everywhere else. its my mp3 player. so i need it. at first i got an ugly moto, then i kept getting better ones, my mom's hand me downs, and finally, i got my first new phone, in February. its the LG Shine

magicfingertips on 5/31/2008 8:28:10 AM

****MOD**** Okay..... well i have this problem with my boyfriend. Whenever i talk to him on Aim or on the phone hes always so sweet and funny, but when i'm with him in person hes such a jerk! hes always talking about other girls and always checking them out. Just the other day i found out he had A.D.D. I was thinking if maybe this is the reason he acts the way he does. I really care about him. and i don't want to break up with him and then end up doing the wrong thing. but then again i don't want to stay with a jerk. What should i do??????


Hey girl, maybe you should bring it up to him that he acts differently in person like that. He might not even realize he's doing it so if you bring it up he can stop and things will be good!
~Kristin

MissxJonas96 on 5/31/2008 8:34:22 AM

*Mod* I'm really upset because it's almost summer(I bet that you've never heard that one!)because the only time I see me crush is at school, and the only time that I'll ever see him during the summer is at my BFF's b-day party. I can't stay in touch well because he doesn't have a cell phone or an e mail address! What should I do?


Hey girl, maybe you should try hanging out with him this summer. Like invite him and his friends to go to a movie or something like that. You guys will figure out a way to keep in touch don't even worry!
~Kristin

i.luv.horses on 5/31/2008 8:41:41 AM

i have to share a cell phone with my sister-i want my own really bad! maybe i'll get one for gradauation next year! Smile

perky on 5/31/2008 8:45:38 AM

hey guys!

perky on 5/31/2008 8:46:41 AM

I just had this exacate problem a year ago... i finally got a phone one christmas! I wanted one soo badly and i was really responsible just like you! Well if they arnt gonna listen then mayb you should write it down and give them the paper... and what i did was when ever there a problem like a game went over time or something they would wait at the school forever until i got there and that is a good time to bring it up and say well this is why i wanted a phone... i could have calles you or something like that. You could also suggest getting a prepaid phone to show that your responsible for a year then go on to the bigger and better things once you've proved your point.

princesspancakes on 5/31/2008 8:52:36 AM

I just had this exacate problem a year ago... i finally got a phone one christmas! I wanted one soo badly and i was really responsible just like you! Well if they arnt gonna listen then mayb you should write it down and give them the paper... and what i did was when ever there a problem like a game went over time or something they would wait at the school forever until i got there and that is a good time to bring it up and say well this is why i wanted a phone... i could have calles you or something like that. You could also suggest getting a prepaid phone to show that your responsible for a year then go on to the bigger and better things once you've proved your point.

princesspancakes on 5/31/2008 8:53:39 AM

I got my cell phone in the end of 5th grade. then I got new one two christmases ago. I think we'll be able to get new phones again this christmas. I really want a new one because my phone doesn't flip, it's a thin tiny bar phone so sometimes when I sit and it's in my pocket I feel like it's gonna snap in half, lol. I can't believe it's almost summer!! soon I'll be a sophomore!

M... on 5/31/2008 8:53:57 AM

I fell the exact same way. I WANT A PHONE!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MG Charm on 5/31/2008 9:17:06 AM

I GOT MY FIRST CELL PHONE 3 OR 4 YEARS AGO. I DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR ONE OR WANT ONE.. MY MOM WAS JUST LIKE HERE. LOL. ;)

pafh5 on 5/31/2008 9:19:06 AM

I got my cell phone when I was...10? Whatever it was, I have to share it with my younger sister. It really isn't so bad sharing. If I ever bike up to the gas station for gum or something, I bring it with me. I only use it for EMERGENCIES anyways.
xoxo Kandy

Kandykake on 5/31/2008 9:20:17 AM

I got my cell phone when I was...10? Whatever it was, I have to share it with my younger sister. It really isn't so bad sharing. If I ever bike up to the gas station for gum or something, I bring it with me. I only use it for EMERGENCIES anyways.
xoxo Kandy

Kandykake on 5/31/2008 9:20:39 AM

I got my cell phone when I was...10? Whatever it was, I have to share it with my younger sister. It really isn't so bad sharing. If I ever bike up to the gas station for gum or something, I bring it with me. I only use it for EMERGENCIES anyways.
xoxo Kandy

Kandykake on 5/31/2008 9:20:54 AM

MOD I have two questions: 1. When you have your period, why is it blood that comes out of your body? If it was something other than blood, I could totally handle my period better! and... 2. Is the blood that comes out of your body during your period the same as the blood that you get when you cut yourself or something?


Hey girl, yes it's the same blood and I'm not exactly sure why it's blood. If you're really curious you should talk to your mom about it and I'm sure she can explain it better.
~Kristin

skittlelover11 on 5/31/2008 9:32:40 AM

i got my cell when i was 13 i really want a new one because mine is really bad evan my grandma has a nicer phone than i do and she doesn't know how to use it.

trackgirl on 5/31/2008 9:37:09 AM

Yeah, that last paragraph does really make sense. I never thought that i would ever get a cell phone until i was off 2 college and had a job to pay 4 it on my own. I had always begged, pleaded, and done everything you've done. But then the Christmas of my 12th birthday, there it was, my new cell phone under the tree. I hadn't even put one on my list because I "knew" they wouldn't get me one no matter what. Parents really can surprise you.

i♥hawaii on 5/31/2008 9:40:30 AM

i got a cell phone in 6th grade Smile

brunettegrl10 on 5/31/2008 9:41:12 AM

I got a real celley for Christmas in 2007 but I had one of those Go Phones and that was kinda ummm... boring. I was really happy when I got my first real celley.

Clique_Poseurs on 5/31/2008 9:48:47 AM

MODERATOR!!! I love kids and I really want to babysit this summer,but, i live in a really rural area and a lot of the younger kids from school already have babysitters. How can I find someone to babysit for, there is a neighborhood right across from my street but i've never even been in it and don't know if my mom will let me put up flyers there! What can i do?


Hey girl, you could have your parents spread the word to their friends and co-workers that you want to babysit. Also ask if its ok to post fliers up around and then hopefully people will call u!
~Kristin

pinkpolkadots4ev on 5/31/2008 9:51:41 AM

my dad is the same way. he just won't accept the fact that i need a cell phone! my mom agrees with me and thinks i need one. especially because i go to school an hour away! but the issue for me is that i'd have to pay for most of it, and i don't have a job yet. but i'm applying at three different places. but i'll probably end up with a pre-paid plan. because we don't have tons of extra $$$ to just spend. but i wish you luck. ;)

kate-o on 5/31/2008 9:55:09 AM

where'd my comment go....????

kate-o on 5/31/2008 9:56:42 AM

MOD***
im starting to like this guy because we have so much in common and he is exactly like me. the problem is, he and my best friend are going out and they are madly in love with each other. they ogle at each other during lunch when im right there, but i cant do anything about it since no one knows i like him. since hes going out with my best friend there is no way i can go out with him, even if they did break up cuz they're so close and im love right now. i guess im just feeling really lonely. how can i get over this soon? when i like a guy, its usually very obvious and i dont want my friend getting the idea that im trying to steal her BF!


 


Hey! its for sure not good to like a guy who has a gf, especially a gf that is your best friend. does he have any cute friends? try to get over him by hanging out with other guys! xoxoashley

label-free♥ on 5/31/2008 10:01:09 AM

MOD
I've got a boyfriend who was and still is my best guy friend. He asked me out about a week ago but I didn't like him like that. But I didn't want to hurt his feelings, he's been having a really rough time lately with his emotions, so I said yes and tried to force myself to like him like a boyfriend instead of just a best friend. Yesterday we kissed and I didn't feel anything in it, but he said that he loved me. Now I'm really confused because I know if we keep going out that our previous friendship will be ruined but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Should I break up with him or stay his girlfriend? And if I do break up with him how should I do it without hurting his feelings. (he can get pretty emotional)




Hey! just feel it out for a little while, and if a week or so goes on and you still feel the same way, then talk to him about it! xoxoashley


 


 

Peach Blossom on 5/31/2008 10:03:15 AM

If you really want a cell phone do what i did. reserce every phone you want and all the services. even if they dont wok around were you live. that shows you parents you are seriouse and you can work. then try to work for some one. even if its cleaning their house once a month. then write up like mom pays 15 a month dad 15 and you 20. or however much your total is. this shows your parents you can handle, are seriouse and can work hard to get what you really want.

kee on 5/31/2008 10:12:05 AM

I don't have a cell phone either. maybe if you act really responsible and mature, they will add you to their plan, especially if you buy the phone yourself!

marym19 on 5/31/2008 10:18:02 AM

I got mine right before 5th grade. I asked for on of those firefly and they said no i was getting a better phone so they added me on to their plan.

daisymae on 5/31/2008 10:25:07 AM

my parents are like that...

soccergurl94 on 5/31/2008 10:34:10 AM

ik how u feel!!!! i say "all my friends have them" then my dad is just like, "well, use ur friends"... so not fair

dragonvolleyball24 on 5/31/2008 11:41:01 AM

i can ttly identify with u! all my friends have one abd i really want to but i think my 'rents don't think i am old enough for one. they just think this b/c my bro and sis didn't get one til they were older but its not fair cuz they are a lot older and phones weren't even around when they were my age! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

brunettebombshell on 5/31/2008 11:45:03 AM

me 2. i want a cell phone so badly but my parents won't lemme have one. i always get straight As and i dont misbehave all that much. one time i had 2 use my mom's old phone cuz i had play practice where we ended early or late half the time and she wouldn't lemme use it 4 anything else or even call it mine. i keep on wishing and asking for one anyways.

bb01unouwantme on 5/31/2008 11:46:05 AM

MOD
My crush is a big time flirt and flirts with almost every gurl but me, my friend sed its because he's shy round me like i'm shy around him( i dun talk to him much i get shy around him) but he doesn't look like a shy person, sometimes i think he just dun like me but i always catch him looking at me and when i catch him he looks away quickly.I talk to all his friends, but i could never talk to him.People say he used to like me but right now i feel like he's confusing me. What do u think?




hey! you have to talk to him about it if you guys are going to be more than friends. flirt with him and see how it goes! xoxoashley

Zee<3 on 5/31/2008 11:52:47 AM

thats like EXACTLY like me!! weard!!

pompom753 on 5/31/2008 11:57:59 AM

Mod~
School's out and idk what im going to do for 3 months? What should I do?




hey! hang out with friends, read books, go to parks and swim, and stay active! xoxoashley

polka-dot-love on 5/31/2008 12:01:31 PM

If your parents don't agree when you first talk to them, try and express understanding for their concerns. Try being extra responsible, too.

megkdangel on 5/31/2008 12:33:10 PM

I know how u feel. Im 14 and I still dont have one. My parents say I cant have until I can pay for one w/ my own money. Where am I going to get the money!!!!! Im Only 14!

Taylor Marie on 5/31/2008 12:52:09 PM

hkidrox888, sorry, but you don't have the first comment... I did! That was my first time having a first comment!

zhangerino on 5/31/2008 12:52:41 PM

**MOD**
my parents got me unlimited texting on my phone and they keep saying that im going "overboard" when i have 1000 messages but why does it matter when i have unlimited????




hey, it shouldnt matter but maybe they dont want you to text that much. xoxoashley

iluvmyhunk on 5/31/2008 1:00:24 PM

MOD
my gbff alwys flirts with every girl at school cuz he is so nice but he just kind of stares at me when i walk by. What does that mean?




hey! not sure, talk to him and flirt! xoxoashley

iluvmyhunk on 5/31/2008 1:05:15 PM

MOD MOD MOD
my period started yesterday after school. i need to tell my mom only problem is my grandparents are visiting and whenever i ask for time to talk to her alone she ignores me aand tell me i need to be more social with my granparents since i dont see them very often. i try to make it clear that it is important but she doesnt




hey! well her you need to talk! and its super important! xoxoashley

we.all.live.in.a.yellow.submarine on 5/31/2008 1:07:40 PM

MOD
my bgf says he loves me. idk if that means he loves me like a friend- or more. also, he is dating my bff.




hey! thats awkward if he is dating your bff...you should probably tell him thats not okay and just find someone else. xoxoashley

polkadotfreak1212 on 5/31/2008 1:35:58 PM


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