Is your friend real...or fake?
Spotting a fake friend is easier than you think—the real problem is that many of us don’t want to admit that a person we value and trust might not have our best interests at heart. But if you think your friend might not really be, well, a friend, then evaluate based on these signs:
It’s her way or the highway. This is one of the biggest red flags, and one of the easiest to spot. Flexibility is key in any relationship, so it’s important that your friendship is full of it. If your BFF is completely inflexible, then there is something wrong. This could just be a symptom of her personality, or it could be something deeper. The first step to solving this would be to approach your friend and confront her about it in a nice way. If she agrees to try and improve, then give her a chance, but if she refuses to see the error of her ways, then it might be time to part ways.
She makes fun of your passions. It feels really horrible to have someone mock things that you love and are passionate about, but it hurts especially bad when the person doing it is supposed to be a friend. It’s important to have passions in life, and it’s equally important to have people around you that are supportive of those passions. So if you have a ‘friend’ that does nothing but make fun of the things you enjoy, reconsider your friendship.
She only talks to you when it’s convenient. This is a *huge* one. Take notice of when your friend talks to you, and who she talks to you around. If she only comes to you when she needs something (a ride, money, connections to something, etc.) then that’s the mark of someone who isn’t a great friend. Another thing is that you need to take note of whether she only talks to you when you’re with her. If she ignores you when you're with others, don’t put up with that!
She talks about everyone to you. There’s a saying that goes ‘If they do it with you, they’ll do it to you." And this can definitely be the case when it comes to identifying fake friends. Of course we’re not talking about venting here. But if your ‘friend’ is talking very badly about people she claims to be close with, be a bit suspicious. She might be saying the same about you.
She makes fun of you. Joking around with one another is one thing, but making jokes at your expense is another. It doesn’t matter whether you are by yourselves or with a group of friends—if she's making fun of you, it’s not okay. Friends don’t hurt friends. She wouldn’t like it if it was done to her, so she shouldn’t be doing it to you. It’s just plain mean.
She's not happy for you when good things happen in your life. Misery loves company...so you might have a fake friend on your hands if she is unsupportive of you when you accomplish goals. When it seems like things are coming together in your life, and everything's going right, your friend should be happy for you! She shouldn’t guilt trip you into silence, or demean your accomplishments.
Have you encountered a fake friend before? What did you do to get out of the situation? Give your fellow GL’ers advice in the comments below!
Photo credit: ABC News.