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Follow these 7 rules if you just *can't* get over your ex

Heartbreak is something that no one is prepared for, and everyone reacts to it differently. Cutting ties with someone you love is tough no matter the circumstances. Whether you and bae *just* broke up or you can't forget your first relationship that ended months ago, that's a-OK. We know that moving on takes time, so here are the seven best things you can do to cope with heartbreak in a healthy way.

1. Cry it out 
Acting like you don't care is not the right way to get over someone. Masking your pain will leave you feeling just as sad, if not lonelier than before. There's nothing wrong with crying, and you shouldn't be ashamed of your pain. Letting the tears out can give a sense of relief—and you won't have to worry about randomly bursting into tears every time you hear "your song" on the radio. 

2. Talk about it
Let your friends know how you're dealing with the breakup. Believe it or not, simply talking about your pain and frustrations helps you comprehend what happened and prepare you to move on. Ask your friends to encourage you to stay positive and try new things, too.  

3. Don't rebound
A rebound relationship seems like a good idea in theory. Just date someone else and you won't even *think* about your ex, right? Unfortunately, no. Rebounds cause a lot more harm than good. Using someone else to ease your pain is never OK, and a new relationship should *always* be based on trust and respect.

4. Don't get even
All of that talk about egging your ex's house was fun at your friend's sleepover, but *actually* taking revenge is harmful. Acting impulsively won't make you feel better in the long run and it never ends well, so why bother?

5. Stop avoiding
You can't imagine going to the movies without an arm around you, but that doesn't mean you should skip a Friday flick with your friends. Instead of letting certain locations haunt your memory (like your fave cafe or the bookstore where you met) make new memories in places you don't like to think about by pretending it's your first time going there. Trust us, you'll make some special memories that will outshine any bad memories you had.

6. Keep yourself busy
Just because you had pie with bae every Wednesday isn't a reason to dread your now-empty afternoon. Use this time to do something fun like painting your nails, watching a movie or joining a new club. Maybe time to discover yourself is just what you needed, anyway. 

7. Forgive
No matter the circumstances that caused the breakup, you owe it to yourself to forgive your ex. Staying angry only allows them to take up your time and energy for longer than they deserve. If you have to, meet up with your ex and tell them the things they did that hurt you—and then forgive them. If seeing them is too much, writing a letter to them about how they made you feel and just throwing it away can prevent those negative thoughts from racing through your mind. 

There is no magic potion you can take to get over someone—wounds take time to heal! Just as putting a band-aid over a cut doesn't make it go away, avoiding your feelings won't make you happier.

Have you ever struggled with getting over someone? Are you having a hard time with a breakup right now? Let us know how you deal with heartbreak and what you would tell another girl going through the same thing.

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by Julia Bonney | 3/9/2017
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