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I think my friends are talking about me

I know I talk about them behind their backs, but are they chatting about me, too?
59 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD!
Hi, I've been having some friend trouble lately. I have two best friends who are from different groups. I brought one girl, K, to meet my other friend, H. A few days later K said I act differently around H. She sent me a really long text with several examples as to how I act differently but they were all small things, such as I use more colorful language around H, and that I describe things differently. My parents told me just to ignore these, so I didn't text her back. She then sent 36 texts over the next 4 hours. Her mood changed within those from 'why aren't you texting me back?' to 'I told you so' to mad to threatening to caring, but the care felt fake. Then she told me a list of mean things I'd ever said to her after I finally texted her back. I feel like she's attacking me and our friendship is different now. I feel it's really forced to talk to her. Should I try to talk it out in person or just hope it gets better or...? Help!

 

hey! It sounds like your friend is being a little verbally abusive and obsessive. I don't think you should respond to her texts because it doesn't really sound to me like you've done anything wrong. If she keeps harassing you i think you should tell a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult. good luck to you! 


Helen S.

by rainydaze82 on 6/30/2012 2:17:35 PM

 
 



MOD MOD!!
My group always hangs out together. theres one girl who assumes everyones her friend. she was gossiping about my friend from our group and saying the story totally wrong. i never said anything except "Well, 'so and so's' my friend. theres no point in arguing with her. now i'm wondering, should i have stuck up for her more?

 

Hey! engaging in that kind of talk just would have made the girls say more mean things. speak your mind but if you think it's just going to lead to unproductive insults you don't have to say anything. 


Helen S.

by Jellybean101 on 4/27/2012 8:49:17 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
My "friend" is not a very good "friend"
She sent me an email at 10:36 telling me what to wear for the next day's V-Shows audition but obviously i wasn't checking my email last night at that time. WHen I checkied it the next day I sent an email of rampaging ON and on about her to my friend. Apparently, she got it to. Now what do I do. I know she likes me and I don't really like her. (she talks about us behind our backs alot) but I don't wanna hurt her. What should I do. Today I checked my email and she fired back an email saying that next time I should check who i send my emails to. Please HELP!!!!!




Hey girl,

The truth is, you were feeling frustrated with the way she was treating you, so you vented. Unfortunately, it didn't stay private! But you gotta own up to it - you wrote it, so there's no getting outta this one. Go up to her IN PERSON (not through email - see how messy they can make things?) and apologize for sending the email, because you realize talking behind her back is not the way to solve any problems or frustrations you have. Then, tell her how she made you feel. Just tell her you're your own person and your life can't be run by someone else. Be civil and calm, but honest. She might get upset, but as long as you stay respectful and take the high road, you'll be doing the right thing.
Lauren C.

by syara20 on 4/26/2012 6:48:40 PM

 
 

i have the same problem. except i told one of them what the other one (the closer one) said about them. she's really mad at me. i only did it out of anger cuz she was hanging out more with another one of my friends. its a whole mess. she said the only way she'll forgive me is if i tell her what the other two said about her. HELP


Hey girl,

You're right to be skeptical about telling her what the others said -- it's not your place to say! You'll have to explain to her that you were angry that you felt she was leaving you out, though that doesn't justify gossiping. If you say you won't do it anymore, she will hopefully forgive you and include you more!


Meghan D.

by abigail11 on 4/21/2012 9:07:42 AM

 
 

well ever since i moved to secondary school everything changed well at the start of the year i was still friends with my 2 friends from primary school and i'm friends wth one of them now and shes my only friend in school. i don't exactly what happened with my othert friend but i think its over one guy. all 3 of was liked that one guy but my friend lets call her andy told me to tell him she liked him i didn't want to but i did she wouldn't leave us alone until she went out with him she couldn't handle him so that relationship didn't work she kinda tried to make us jealous but it didn't work. so one day my friend and i lets call her tina said that we should ask her for the guys number i said i'll do it but andy took it the wrong way and thought i wanted to ask him out and she got really angry even though they were broken up andy was going to tina's house that day and she started saying stuff about me she never talked to us again. when she does it's really awkward. i wana sort things out?

by josie12 on 4/11/2012 6:04:16 AM

 
 

they probaly dont

by katie6781 on 4/4/2012 10:49:43 AM

 
 

everything will be alright everyone has gone through these situations its not the end of the world so just keep holding on.

by autumnshadow on 2/18/2012 8:27:44 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
ok so i REALLY want a webcam to do fun things with like the lolcam... a lot of my friends have one so i really want one (no im not a follower) haha but my mom or dad wont let me get one.. i could see why with all the news and reportings of rape and people having like "sex" over the internet.. also lots of pervs ok well i woukld NEVER EVER do that!! ewww how do i convince my mom to let me get one??
Thank you!!!




Hey girlie,

Try asking them again by telling them exactly how you'll be using it - and that you would NEVER use it in any other way. Tell them you plan to use it for private webcam conversations with trusted friends and family, like through Skype. Don't use Chat Roulette, don't put the feed on a website or blog, etc. If you take "photo booth" style photos, keep them private so only your friends can see them. Just be mature and tell your parents that you understand what it takes to be responsible with a webcam. Tell them you want to work with them and compromise - they'll always be allowed in the room, you'll always be open about your internet/computer business if they ask, and you'll respect their wishes no matter what. They might be pretty set in their decision (and like you said, we totally understand why), but being mature like that could help! <3
Lauren C.

by bluedevils5 on 2/16/2012 8:55:21 PM

 
 

MOD: all of my friends have more money than my family does. I came up to them, wearing the only store brand shirt in my closet, when my BFF says," Wow your actualy wearing a name-brand shirt!?! I didn't think you had enough money for that!" Her and all of my other friends laughed at me and i felt really embarrassed! Am i being parinoid? Or should i end our friendship(s)? please help me!! ~Sutton!

 

Hey sutton!, that wasn't nice of her to say that. Having money isn't everything. I'm sure you have a great family, so who cares if you guys aren't rich. Maybe let your friends know it makes you uncomfortable when they make fun of you for not having money. They may not realize it's hurting your feelings. Hope this helps! Xoxo  

Lynae P.

by sutton! on 2/4/2012 6:41:35 PM

 
 

If you think your closer friend and the other girl are talking about you, then it might help if you don't talk about the other girl anymore with you closer friend. If you don't like the feeling of thinking you getting talked about, (and if your closer friend is telling the other girl what you say about her) then imagine what it feels like to be the other girl. Knowing your getting talked about.

by sutton! on 2/4/2012 6:37:37 PM

 
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