A friend of mine is really worried her parents might split up. She says there is already a separation and she really doesn’t want to have to pick who she lives with b/c she loves both of them. I hate to see her so upset, but I don’t know what to do. On top of all that she informed me that her mom had packed all her bags and is ready to go. And that her mom lied to her. She and her mom were really close so it really broke her heart. How can I help her deal? She has talked to parents and her aunt, but its not helping at all.’

-Anonymous‘

Hey girl,

Ugh this is totally tough. I’ve watched a lot of my friends go through divorces and I know what it’s like to want to help them and not know HOW to help them. I’m totally proud of you for wanting to help your bud out! I know it’s hard but I know you can do it girl.

Make sure your friend knows that both her parents are NOT mad at her but they’re mad at each other. They still both love her. Tell your friend to try talking separately with each parent about how she feels. Suggest that your friend ask her mother why she lied. Although you say talking to her parents and her aunt hasn’t helped before, urge her to try again! If her rents and her aunt still aren’t helping, suggest that she try a different adult who is removed from the situation–like a guidance counselor. Talking to trusted adults will help her feel as though she understands the situation more.

Aside from encouraging your bud to talk to adults, YOU can definitely help her through this sticky sitch. Let her know how much you love and care for her. Listen to her worries and let her cry. Cheer her up by planning a surprise party, sleepover with her fav movies or a window-shopping spree at the mall.

Remember to let your bud know that although this is really hard she’ll get through it and be so much more stronger because of it. Offer her a shoulder to cry on, a box of Kleenex, and plan some super-fun activities that you think will cheer her up. Good luck girlie. All in all, I’m sure with a great friend like you by her side, she’ll be A-OK!

~*Cait