TIMELY QUESTIONS FROM TWO GL PARTY GIRLS!

At the end of my bat mitzvah party, I want to sing a prayer that people usually sing at my camp the night before people go home. It’s really pretty and people put their arms around each other and sway. I love the song, but I’m afraid it might insult or discomfort those who are not Jewish. Would it be okay, or is there a way to make it okay?

HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!‘

Hey, Girl. You are so incredibly thoughtful! Not many people would stop to to take other people’s feelings into consideration when they’re supposed to be the center of attention. (I mean, we’ve all seen My Super Sweet Sixteen!)

Your consideration is such a nice thing, because it shows you are sooooo ready for your bat mizvah (which literally translates to “daughter of commandment” and implies “responsible female.”) You’re growing up, girl! And it sounds like your faith has helped you become the beauty (inside and out) you are today.

Since this party ultimately represents a religious milestone, I think it’s perfectly acceptable—in fact, awesome—that you not only want to sing this community-oriented song, but share it with people who are not Jewish. So go for it. Remember, the people who come to your bat mizvah are there to celebrate YOU!

A cute idea, though, might be to add the words (or a translation, if the song is in Hebrew) to your invites, make a little program, or just have someone introduce the song and explain it’s meaning—and why it’s important to you. I think you’ll find everyone in the room smiling with pride and appreciation.

Have a wonderful party—and congrats on the bat, babe!
Jiae

My birthday is coming up, and I have a huge problem: I was new this year year, and before I met my awesome BFF, I had this other insta-friend, who thought that when I said that I wanted to sit with her at lunch, I was excepting a lifelong commitment including her: bratty behavior, clingy-ness, and bad friend-ness. She is also VERY impolite. She invited me to her birthday at the beginning of the year, and since she was my only friend, I (out of politeness) accepted. My new BFF and me don’t really like her that much, and she wasn’t friends with my BFF before but thinks that we’re all BFFs. Apparently we missed the memo asking our consent for a shadow, because that is all she does. She is also very invasive, and therefore knows the date of my b-day party. How do I let her down gently? Should i invite her?

GL, please respond. i have literally poured my heart out into this, and need advice.

Love,
Emmawemmabobemma
(soon to be Emmz)‘

Hey, Emmz! I totally understand where you’re coming from. When you’re new to a school, you’d accept offers to a Star Trek convention just to avoid being alone! But here’s the thing: This newly annoying friend was there for you when nobody even knew your name. You can’t just forget that because you made other friends.

When her clingy, bratty behavior irritates you, tell her…nicely. Everyone deserves a chance to change for the better. And who knows? She might end up becoming a really good friend of yours!

But if she’s just not cutting it—and consistently falls into the “bad friend” category—try to slowly weed her out. Don’t be rude and go out of your way to exclude her, but don’t go out of your way to include her either. Hopefully she’ll get the hint.

As for the party, I’d invite her. It’s not like you’ll have to stay glued to her side 24/7. Once she arrives, thank her for coming, chit chat a bit, and move on to the next crowd—or, even better, try to introduce her to people who share some of her interests. After all, a good hostess talks to all her guests.

Happy Early B-Day!

Let us know how it goes…
Jiae