Are these my REAL friends?

My friends drive me bananas! I have a chica that’s in my class, and I always think she’s annoying cause she never minds her own business. Then my other pal lies to me about everything and cheated on my reading paper.

What should I do?

Hey chica,

YIKES...! You’re definitely in a messy sitch here. Friend problems are never fun to deal and it seems like you've got not one but two questionable chickadees on your hands. Here's how to deal!

Friends...for real?

Before you decide to do anything, ask yourself what a real pal is like. Are they constantly asking TMI questions? Uh, they probably shouldn't do that. Do they peer at your paper during a test? Hmm...isn't that called cheating? Are they always telling lies? Pretty sure that's what an enemy would do. In other words, consider whether or not these girls are your true friends. Do they have any redeeming qualities? Are they funny? Do they stick up for you? Maybe it's time to make pal-ship list of pros and cons.

Friendship fix-its

If you've got a long list of cons, it's time to confront these chicas about their sisterhood snafus. There’s no need to be harsh or dramatic, but you have to make it clear that you really don't like when they get nosy, cheat, lie, whatever! When you’re alone with either one of the girls, let them know what’s bugging you and ask them politely to tone it down. Use statements like, "Every time you ask me who I'm crushing on in the middle of class I feel totally cornered. I want to tell you who I like when we're alone, not in the middle of math." Try not to use the accusatory "you" when you're calling your girls out. It may sound selfish, but if you make this about them, it could offend them.

What’s next?

After that, give the girls some time and a clean slate for a second chance. If they really are your friends and want to stay that way, they’ll listen to your opinion and change it up. If you don’t see any difference, then don’t contemplate which girl to choose—just move on! Join a brand-new sport or club and make some real friends who can MYOB and do their own HW. You deserve to be respected!

-Jean L.

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1/13/2010 7:00:00 AM