I am totally in love with my best friend's crush. She has been friends with the guy since third grade. But, I know for a fact he likes me back. If I go out with him, I'm afraid she'll get mad that I'm dating her crush. I don't know what to do!

I want to date him, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Would that come between us? I don't know what to do anymore.

I also don't think that I can keep this from her any longer. We tell each other everything! I'm afraid when my BFF finds out my life will be over!

Eek! I liked my friend's BF once, so I def know where you're coming from. It's such a tough spot to be in, so let's think this one out!

It's a scary thing to do, but your BFF deserves to know what's going on. When you're hanging out by yourselves and it gets quiet, let her know that you have something to you want to tell her. Explain the sitch and let her know that you hate keeping things from her, but you really just didn't want to hurt her. And don't forget to give her time to react. Let her voice what's going on in her head, and really listen to her. She could react in a few diff ways....

Sure, she may be a little upset that you didn't tell her sooner (what are BFFs for anyways?), but she understands and doesn't want to let anything come between you two. BFFs before BFs, right? If this is the case, then you two can def work out some sort of agreement. Maybe you'll both try to hold off for a bit and see if it your feelings for this fella sizzle or fizzle.

Worst case scenario: She's upset and feels betrayed that you didn't tell her about it. Is it really worth losing your BFF over a boy? Put this love on hold for a bit until she's all right. Explain to her WHY you like your mutual crush. Tell her that you think he likes you but you can't go out with her unless she is totally, 100% all right with you doing so.

Who knows, maybe over time, she'll be OK with it.  For me, my friend was upset at first, but eventually got over it. I got the guy and my friend!

Either way, you're BFFs a.k.a. best friends FOREVER.  That means nothing will split you two up in the long run. It's gonna cause some tension, but you'll feel sooo much better once you get this secret off your chest.

11/13/2009 7:00:00 AM