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Too busy to be a BF?
A guy I've known for almost a month and I finally started dating. The next day he tells me that we shouldn't date right now because he has to focus more on football and school. But every night when we’re done texting each other he always tells me he loves me and is 100% sure he does.
How could I possibly be a distraction to his schoolwork and football games? It seems like he likes me a lot and always wants to hang with me but doesn't want to date me right NOW because he is afraid he will always think about me and not get focused on other important things in his life. And he says we will date another time when he's doing well in his other activities. I wanna know when that is but all he says is IDK.
-Clueless
First, think about how you act when you have a crush. You spend lotsa time thinking about him, right? Imagine what it’s like when you date a guy. It requires even more time since the two of you are gonna talk, hang out, and still manage the rest of your busy schedules. It’s a lot to handle at your age, so a relationship def complicates things. That’s not to say it’s not worth it, because, when you two like each other, sometimes being together is just what you need when you wanna take a break.
But to a guy, a relationship can seem like too much. Does that make sense? It’s not that he doesn’t like you or want to be with you, since he’s made it clear that he does. It’s that he’s stressed about making the grade and making the team, so making it work with a girl seems like too much to handle on top of everything else. That's why he’s acting this way.
That said, it’s so not cool for him to be leading you on and saying something as serious as “I love you” if he’s not interested in a relationship. Tell him that it’s not cool for him to mess with your feelings because no girl is a fan of mixed signals. Explain to him that you’re also busy but you like him a lot, so you’re willing to try to make it work despite your jam-packed schedule. You want a boyfriend, not a guy who says he loves you but says he’s too busy. Hopefully he’ll feel the same way.
His promises that you’ll date soon enough sounds genuine, but it’s much easier said than done. When will he consider his sports and schoolwork good enough for him to have a girlfriend? It’s such a thin line that it’s best to talk this out now and cut out the confusion. Yes, he wants to wait, but you’ve got a say in this, too. Good luck solving this one girl. I know you can do it.
Best,
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POSTED IN Dating, GL's best guy advice
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