Why Do Dudes Keep Quiet About Their Crushes?
Why don’t boys ever tell girls they like them?
Girls tell boys all the time!
BILL: Mysteries of the Universe (girls’ version): 1) Is global warming really happening? 2) Will an asteroid destroy the earth? 3) What’s the deal with guys? Fortunately, scientific evidence can help with the first two. As for guys, the mystery is that there is no mystery. Guys don’t tell girls they like them because, a lot of times, it never occurs to them. Think of us as Artificial Intelligence beings. We’re working on showing our emotions, we’re just not quite there yet.
DAVE: OK, I’ll finish the thought. Mysteries of the Universe (guys’ version): 1) In baseball, why is a ball fair when it hits the foul pole? 2) Is there any conceivable scenario in which Angelina Jolie will date me? 3) Why are girls obsessed with guys telling them they like them? Guys behave like dogs. Does a dog ever say, “I like you?” No, of course not. But through his actions—following you around, gazing at you with those sweet eyes, the occasional tongue hanging out—you know he likes you. Use these same criteria for your two-legged male friends, and you’ll understand how guys express themselves.
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