Shyer than my guy

I'm a quiet girl by nature but my guy is very social. Sometimes he gets upset with me for being quiet on the phone but I don't want to say just any old thing because I don't want to sound silly. This is the only problem I've ever had with him, so I wouldn't even consider ending the relationship.


What can I do to feel more comfortable saying what I'm thinking when I talk to him? I get embarrassed for no good reason and it doesn't seem healthy.


Hi Girlie,

I know exactly how you feel! My guy is super social also, and usually I'm a little quieter. Sometimes I have trouble finding the right things to say, too - and even when I do, sometimes he starts talking again before I can say it, then I forget and he thinks I never have anything nice to say! It's hard to think of just the right thing, isn't it?


The best advice I can give is to know that he wants to hear from you! You two are in a relationship together, and as long as you're both always being honest, then there's nothing you could say that would ever make you sound silly. No need to filter thoughts you have, and no reason to feel self-conscious around him - you guys like each other, and your voice matters just as much as his!


There are some things you can try to make you feel more comfortable. First, think of a few conversation topics you want to tell him about before you see him next. Your day at school, funny things that have happened lately, how much you think he rocks as your guy, anything you'll be comfortable starting a conversation in. Next, remember that healthy conversation includes a lot of back-and-forth, and a lot of respect for both opinions. As long as you're listening when he answers, he'll do the same for you!


Of course, it will take time for you to be comfortable with speaking up right when you think of something. But you owe it to your guy, and especially to your relationship with him! Let him know you're trying to speak up a bit more, and ask for him to keep being the great, patient guy he is. Maybe he'll have some more ideas about what he wants from your relationship, and you'll have the chance to practice speaking your mind.


Good luck!
<3 Katie P.

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6/5/2009 7:00:00 AM
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