"Friends" With a Loser

I have this friend (well she’s kinda my friend). The problem is no one in the whole school likes her and she hangs out with my crew (hangs out as in follows us around and says, “I know, right?” to everything we say).

Everyone in my crew is scared to tell her because she will act over dramatic and tell her mom, which equals major trouble. I have been in her position before so I know what it’s like, but how can we tell her we should just be acquaintances?


Hey Girl,

This girl sounds like she really wants to be accepted by you and has a difficult time interacting with people in meaningful ways that will allow her to form true friendships. Why don’t you guys want to hang out with her? Is she mean? Does she talk about you guys behind your backs? If it’s a reason like this I think its best that you explain that it bothers you when she cuts you down when you aren’t around. However, if you don’t want to be friends with her just because she isn’t as cool as you, or is a little awkward, or doesn’t seem to quite “get it,” please reconsider. If it weren’t for you and your group of “friends”, as loose as the term is used here, this girl would have nobody and can you imagine what a lonely life that is?

It seems like she is just trying to fit somewhere. I have grown apart from people I grew up with and then reconnected with them, and let me tell you I wasn’t friends with everyone in the entire world, but I did show decency and kindness to people looking for it and these moments come up time and time again when I speak to them. If you show her kindness, your friends will follow suit and perhaps this girl will fit in a little better. And I promise that she will remember you and what you did for her.


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4/22/2009 7:00:00 AM