There is this girl at my school that thinks she is better than everyone. I can't stand how she treats other people. She was my friend but she wouldn't stop talking about me and others so I got sick of it.

She needs to know what she’s doing but I don't know what to do. How do I tell her that the way she’s acting is WHY she has no friends? Please help!

Wow, this chick gives the phrase “mean girl” a whole new meaning! Unfortunately, it seems as though every school has one of these meanies. Even though this girl is mean, I’m glad you recognize that she’s a person with feelings and needs too. It’s totally cool of you to want to help her out, despite the fact that she’s been mean to you before.

What’s this girl’s prob? She sounds way insecure, which is why she talks trash about everyone else and cheats on her BF. In order to make herself feel better, she needs to put everyone around her down. And she wonders why she doesn’t have any friends? Luckily, she has YOU to tell her what her prob is.

I’m not saying you need to become her new BFF. But it’s super cool that you want to help this girl out, and you have the guts to let her know how she’s acting. She probably feels lonely and doesn’t know what to do. Since she’s feeling more insecure then ever, this may amp up her evil behavior to an even greater extreme.

How to help this chica? Reach out to her! Maybe after school you could walk up to her and kindly let her know, “Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.” If that’s too much, you could write her a nice note and slip it in her locker. Something along the lines of, “I know you’re not as mean as you think you are. I’m here if you need me.”

Or invite her to do something neutral with you…ask her to be your lab partner in science, see if she needs help studying for math or make a library date to do your writing worksheet…just the two of you. Try to start off by just getting her to warm up and trust you. If you get her one-on-one it’ll be much easier to talk to her (gently!) and let her know that what she’s doing is making her friend-less and lonely.

Once you’ve taken the risk, it’s up to her to make the next move. Remember, you can’t change anybody. If she wants to become a better person, it’s ultimately her move. But letting her know somebody cares about her will definitely make it easier. Best of luck, girlie! And props to you for caring about her!

4/1/2009 7:00:00 AM