GIRL TALK: Parent Trap
My parents and I fight alot!! I get so mad cuz u know, at home I’m more of a tough person, not a softie. So it’s hard for me to show my feelings. I get so mad when they tell me to do sumthing and then they take my stuff away.I can’t really control my anger with them because they are so hard to talk to. What do I do!!??!?~Soccer Punk!!~'
Hey Soccer Punk! Rioting with the ‘rents is definitely a tough
situation to deal with. One of my dad’s sayings is “my house, my
rules.” The same thing probably goes for you as well, and it sucks.
If you have a bunch of siblings, its always annoying when YOU are
the one always doing the dishes, or picking up the Play-Doh mess your
little brother made, while everyone hangs out. It’s obnoxious, but it
also comes with being part of a family.
I know it seems like parents just have no clue how nagging they are.
My mother and I didn’t get along until I left for college. We fought
all the time, it was impossible to have a normal conversation with her
because I could never see her as a friend. I always regret being such a
pain when she asked me to do simple chores that would make her day
easier.
If you think that they are being overly harsh, try talking to them
calmly. Don’t yell or act out, just say “ Sometimes I think you guys go
a little overboard with me and it really stresses me out.” You aren’t
being a softy by trying to talk to them. You’re actually being really
mature. Flipping out will only show your parents that you aren’t
capable of being treated like an adult and will set back your efforts
by weeks, months or even years!
If you have a hot-headed personality (like me) the best thing to do
is to just walk away for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths, think
of a way to voice your feelings without coming off as rude or
disrespectful, and then go back and try to talk to your parents. If you
do things more willingly around the house, you may find that your
parents will back off a little.
Even better: bring up the issue at a totally happy, stress-free,
unrelated time with one of your parents at a time. (Like a special
mom-daughter, or dad-daughter day.) Parents get stressed too! And since
they are human, that can impact the way they treat their kids in the
heat of the moment. So, you'll get extra points for having a mature
convo...without blaming...just explaining you'd like to get along
better, and asking them what you can do to help that happen. Chances
are, if you really listen, they'll be willing to listen to your ideas
too.
I didn’t want to hear it then, and you probably don’t want to hear it now, but your family (no matter how annoying) is the most stable relationship you will ever be in. And it does eventually get better. Just make a conscious effort to do what’s asked without complaining and things will lighten up. Hang in there!
XOXO,
Jana
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