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GIRL TALK: Lack Of Communication

I really, really, really, want a cell phone. My parents won't let me get one. It's totally ridiculous. I am trustworthy, responsible, I got ALL A's and 1 B+, do extracurricular activities like sports and stuff, but they just won't get me one. I've tried discussing with them and giving them the reasons I should have one; like I can talk to them easier, I can call them and tell them of sudden changes in schedule, and when I'm at a game or a track meet I can call them and tell them what time the bus will be back. I can also call my friends without clogging up the house phone. But, whenever I try to maturely, calmly, nicely and politely discuss it with them, they get sarcastic and change the subject. They just don't care enough to listen, like they already have their minds set. How do I convince them to get me a cell phone?

-Anonymous

It’s a shame they won’t even give you the chance to actually have a serious conversation about it and hear you out. But it might be the way you’re approaching them. Before anything, make sure you’re not being whiny about it. Ask them if you could possibly plan a time to sit down with them and have a quiet, serious conversation about it. Schedule a “meeting” with them so you don’t end up catching them at a bad time.

Then, go prepared. Those reasons you have for getting a cell phone are good. But they may have other concerns that you’re not considering. So ask them for their reasons and hear them out. Let them have their turn to list all the reasons they’re against it, and then come back with a rebuttal (this will mean anticipating their reasons and maybe doing a little research). Remember to be respectful – after all, they are your parents and do make the rules. So try to sympathize and show you understand their concerns, but then give them solutions to those problems. If it’s money, present them with the idea of getting you a pre-paid phone with only so many minutes per month. Tell them you’ll even pay for part (or all) of it with your own money! (And then earn some money to pay for it!) Tell them doing it like this will also teach you to be responsible with your minutes and not waste them (because you’ll only get so many at a time so you better stretch them out).

If all else fails and you still can’t get them to budge, say that you understand if they’re not ready for you to have a cell phone yet, but ask them if you could maybe come to a compromise and decide on when you will be allowed to get one. Maybe they’ll feel more comfortable with it when you’re a few years older. Or maybe if you prove your responsibility by doing certain chores or keeping your grades up, they’ll be more open to considering it.

And don’t forget the power of holidays! Ask around Christmas or your birthday – times when they would usually be trying to think of gifts for you anyway – and they just might surprise you.


<3 Jessie M.

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5/31/2008 1:28:00 AM
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