My BFF's bro hates me!

My best friend and I are 13 and she has a little bro who just turned 11. Her brother and I used to be okay, but it has recently come to my attention that he hates me, ALOT.  

She won't tell me about it, which is understandable, since it IS her little brother, but I can't help but feel frustrated and helpless--since I don't even know what the problem is. 

A mutual friend and I thought it was jealousy, but now I'm not even sure what the real problem is. The real kicker? My best friend in the whole world says she can see why he's mad, and that makes me even more angry that I don't even know what the problem is. 

I see my best friend’s family almost as much my own (because we spend so much time together) that I can't help but take it badly that her little bro can't stand my guts. Is it BECAUSE I spend too much time with them? What should I do to help my problem?

Hey girl! This is definitely a hard situation! Sounds like your BFF’s lil bro may be jealous of your relationship with his sister, especially if you never did anything to make him mad such as name calling or fighting. There are some things you can do that will hopefully make the situation better.

Talk to your BFF

First of all, your BFF needs to let you know what’s up. It seems like she knows what is wrong with her bro but does not want to tell you. Sit her down and have an honest discussion with her. Let her know that you view her family as your own and it hurts that her brother dislikes you. 

Tell her you want to try and make things better because you feel uncomfortable around her brother. Hopefully she will listen to you and open up. If she doesn’t, than ask her for advice. Ask her if there is anything you can do to solve the problem with her brother and listen to her suggestions. 

Include her bro

If the problem is jealousy, try to include her brother into what you and your BFF do. It doesn’t have to be every time, but if you two are going to walk the dog, personally ask her brother if he wants to join you. 

Jumping on the trampoline? Invite him outside for a bit. Ask him what his fave board game is and get the whole family to play. If he feels included, he might start to like you more.

Kill ‘em with kindness

So you’ve done everything you can to solve the prob and your BFF’s bro still can’t stand you. What do you do? Ignore it! Pretend like he likes you, or pretend that his not liking you doesn’t matter. 

Make sure to stay nice to him though. If you see him, say hi. Say please and thanks at dinner and always say bye when you leave. The nicer you are to him, the more he might reevaluate his feelings for you.

Remember, your BFF’s brother is not your BFF. If she isn’t acting any different, try not to worry too much or take things too personally. It could be a phase for her brother and he most likely will grow out of it, especially if you stay nice toward him. Good luck!


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5/19/2010 12:14:00 PM