I am a huge tomboy. The guys in my class all make fun of me, and the girls depend on me to stick up for them. When I was younger, I developed some of my dad’s habits (southern accent, mannerisms, etc.), so I’m not like my mom and sisters.

I'm getting tired of people making fun of me and always having to “kick butt” for the girls. How do I change so people get to know me for me instead of for my tomboy appearance?

Hey girl, when it comes to changing other people’s perceptions of you, actions speak volumes. Breaking free of the stereotypes is as easy as being able to say no, standing up for yourself and never failing to be you.

What the guys are doing in your class—bullying—is a big no-no. The best way to discourage their teasing is to ask them politely to stop and then to ignore any further teasing (guys like to see a reaction; don’t give them that satisfaction with a response.).

If the teasing still doesn’t stop or gets worse, tell a teacher asap. Teachers want the classroom to be an encouraging place for students, not one where peers bring others down. The teacher will talk to those boys, and because of his or her role in the classroom, the words can have a big impact in getting those boys to stop.

As for your dependent girl pals, have a heart-to-heart with them and let them know what’s up. Say that while you care about them and don’t mind standing up for them, it’s important for them to learn how to stand up for themselves, too.

Offer them your pointers and encourage them to be brave. And if it’s those same boys teasing? Give your teacher a heads up too—a class prob is one that should def be acknowledged by authority.

Above all, don’t sacrifice yourself or your character for anyone else. It’s OK to have a southern accent or your father’s mannerisms. Actually, it’s great because they’re the unique things that make you, well, you.

Project your true personality, and people will notice (in a good way!) the real you. There’s no better way to change people’s perceptions of you than just being true to yourself.

Best of luck, girl. And remember, confidence is always a girl’s best accessory!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.

4/8/2010 1:04:00 PM