LIFE

We *all* could use some advice rn. That's why we talked to Dr. Venus Nicolino, AKA Dr. V., to get her help on some of your biggest burning relationship questions. 

Dear Dr. V: 
My school went virtual—and I never get to see or talk to my crush anymore! How can I find a relationship during a pandemic?

Dr. V:
Ugh, that's a *total* bummer. But, it's 2021...and I refuse to accept that in-person convos are your only way to handle crush deprivation. If it's OK with your parents, it might be fun to find new ways to chat with your crush. Text, talk on the phone, FaceTime or go old school and become pen pals. If you're comfortable, you could even mask up (and bundle up) and plan a distanced date in your backyard or a park nearby. 

Look, I get it. Crushing is exciting—and it's hard to feel held back from expressing how you *truly* feel (like, I-wanna-hold-your-hand-in-a-movie feels). But when it comes to finding a new relationship, I wouldn't stress too much. These are, as they say, unprecedented times—and they're going to be over soon enough. Spend the winter hanging with your fam (and pets), catching up on hobbies (and TikTok) and making time for yourself and your besties. Turn that anticipatory energy toward yourself and see what happens. The crushes will be there when it's over—I promise.

Dear Dr. V: 
I'm really struggling to feel excited this winter. Everything just feels so heavy and sad and I can't do anything I'm used to doing, like having sleepovers with my friends or hanging out at school. How can I still find happiness? 

Dr. V:
I'm right there with you. Realizing you're not alone is one of the best things you can do to help you through this. This whole thing just sucks—there's no way around that. But you know what's also true! It will eventually be over...even when it feels like forever. Each day that goes by is one day closer to normal, and having hope for the future is one of the most effective ways to get through hard times. It's a lesson you can take with you for the rest of your life, even when this is over. 

Dear Dr. V:
My school is virtual and my BF and I are long-distance. For a few months, we were FaceTiming and DMing constantly, but it's starting to feel like there's not that much to say. Is he going to break up with me?

Dr. V:
Positivity alert! I actually think that going through this time with your BF might make you closer. Pandemic or no, there's nothing you can to to get a guarantee that someone won't break up with you (sorry). But you can't live your life in fear of that—how can you be present in the relationship if you're constantly worried about a future breakup? The two of you staying in touch during this unprecedented and chaotic time can help give you both a warm and cozy feeling that, tbh, we all really need rn. So take this opportunity to expand your emotional toolbox and ask him how he's feeling. Open up about your feelings and fears, too. It's a chance to be emotional and vulnerable and make your relationship stronger than ever, even when you feel far apart. 

For more on Dr. Venus Nicolino, visit her on her website and on Instagram. 

Image: Dr. V./Instagram

by GL | 1/12/2021