Summer camp, sleepovers and snowcone runs—the three S’s of summer break. But nobody really talks about the L: loneliness.

Maybe your IG feed is packed with concert pics, beach days and birthday parties, while you’re spending another afternoon deciding whether to start a new book from your TBR list or bake yet *another* batch of chocolate chip cookies. It can feel like everyone else is having the summer of their lives, while you missed the memo on how to have an amaze vacay.

If you’ve been feeling a bit blue this vacay, we’re here to help. Our reminders for navigating summer bummers, right this way…

Social Media Loves A Highlight Reel

Let’s be real: Social media is kinda like your frenemy. It’s awesome for compiling outfit inspo, catching up on the latest F1 goss and finding out your fave celeb’s go-to berry smoothie recipe. It’s *not* so great for when you’re feeling FOMO. 

Nobody posts, “Spent Saturday afternoon eating Twizzlers and rewatching Gilmore Girls for the sixth time” or “Everyone was busy, so I hung out with my dog and scrolled for three hours.” Instead, we see the vacations. The sleepovers. The matching friendship bracelets. The giant group photos.

The summer after I graduated high school, I struggled with intense moments of loneliness. It seemed like everyone was either killing it at an amazing summer job or going on romantic dates with their S.O. (and I had neither of those things). Spending hours doomscrolling on social media definitely didn’t help.

Once I started giving myself screentime limits for Instagram and TikTok, I felt *loads* better. Instead of spending all my summer free time comparing my boring life against others’ seemingly perfect ones, I dove into my creative hobbies—which was a much more fulfilling way to spend vacay.

Quality Over Quantity

A total myth about friendship is the idea that there’s a “right” way for it to look. But there isn’t a magic number of people you’re supposed to have in your life by a certain age. In reality, plenty of people would rather have one or two close friends than spend every weekend bouncing between group chats and parties.

Maybe your dream Friday night is ordering Chinese takeout with your longtime bestie, or even just spending quality time with your fam at movie night. And that’s totally OK: Your ideal version of friendship doesn’t have to revolve around big bashes and endless social events.

A Great Conversation Still Counts

When you’re lonely, it’s easy to feel like everyone else found their forever friends ~ages~ ago. But meaningful connection doesn’t always arrive in the way we expect.

The pressure we put to find a lifelong friend from every social interaction can make loneliness feel even worse. We show up to a new school club, camp or friend hangout secretly hoping we’ll walk away with a bestie for the restie. And when that doesn’t happen, it can feel like the interaction didn’t “count.”

But not every connection is supposed to become a lifelong friendship. Sometimes it’s just a great convo with a person who introduces you to a new perspective, understands your niche references or makes a long train ride go by a little faster.

One of my favorite conversations ever was on a coach journey to London, where I was going to see Stray Kids for their DominATE world tour. I ended up sitting next to a girl who was also going solo. We spent the next hour sharing headphones to listen to our favourite tracks, discussing our biases and singing (pretty badly) along to a fan chant. We exchanged IG handles before heading to our sections. We’ve never actually DM’ed, but that doesn’t make the connection any less cool. Sometimes a great conversation is just a great conversation. Not every person you meet is meant to become part of your inner circle, and that’s totally OK.

Give Yourself Some Grace

If you’re feeling lonely this summer, try not to treat it like a report card on your life. It doesn’t mean you’re awkward or failing at friendship. It might just be a temporary season of your life. Who knows, once you head back to school next year/start that part-time job/join the rec soccer league this fall, you might enter into a whole new social era.

Need advice on dealing with tough stuff? Check out these posts:
🌻 How To Talk To Your Friends When They Hurt Your Feelings
🌻 5 Ways To Build Your Confidence After Rejection
🌻 “Dear Carol: I’m Terribly Stressed And Feel Like I Have Nobody To Talk To”

Top image: @ccarolajna_i_bruno
Slider image: @celeste.artia
Body images: @korina.bao, @nofa_zaffar, @lameesmourad, @ahyascottage