Dear Carol,

I have an older sister and younger sister. I know for a fact that my parents don’t think I’m a very good daughter. My older sister is a perfect student (I’m definitely not) and my little sister always behaves (I tend to lash out). How do I bring up to my family that I feel like I don’t matter and I’m always going to be in my sisters’ shadows?

-In My Sisters’ Shadows

Dear In My Sisters’ Shadows,

I’m sorry you feel this way (and lashing out probably isn’t helping). It would be better if you could tell your parents in person or in a note what you told me. Say, “I know you wish I were a better student, but I wish that too, and I’m trying.” Maybe you can talk about getting a tutor or a better place to study. And take a moment to think about what makes you special so that you aren’t seeking attention in negative ways. You definitely do matter, and I hope you will soon find yourself not in your sisters’ shadows, but on your own sunny path.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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