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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

What's so weird about being single?

 
 
When boys ask me out, I always say no. It’s because I don’t like anyone that much and don’t need all that drama in my life. My friends think I should start dating so they always make fun of me about it, which makes me feel awkward and upset. How can I let the boys down in a way that won’t hurt their feelings?

Dear Heartbreaker,

It’s perfectly OK to say a sweet, “No, but thank you anyway,” with zero explanation, or, “Thanks, but I don’t want to date anyone right now.” If you’re not comfortable being so direct, you can let a guy down gently and tell him that your parents won’t let you date. No need to swear off boys forever, but it’s admirable that you listen to your heart rather than to other girls’ opinions. When friends jeer or push, remind yourself that their immaturity is their problem and not yours.
 
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 1/30/2013 10:00:00 AM

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36 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

Excuse me, I see that people are writing "mod" what does that mean? Just curious. Thank you.

by beeba5 on 3/13/2013 7:29:00 AM

 
 

I have guys who have a crush on me but I really don't like them. How do I let them know I don't like them in that way, or anyway for that matter, without hurting there feelings.

by Jilleona on 3/8/2013 8:20:14 PM

 
 

I like this guy,but im not sure if he likes me back.He sends mixed signals alot. At the valetines dance when they played a slow song he was surronded by his friends i asked if he wanted to dance but he said no. then in the next song he asked me to dance and i sadi yes.Did he say no the first time because his friends are there?Also he acts way different with his friends.He is really mean but when we are alone he's nice.I have asked him if he liked me but he said no but when my friends ask him if he likes me he says yes.Im really confused if he does or doesnt.Help!

by Selena13736 on 3/7/2013 10:16:40 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD
My guy friend is really nice and funny.I think i have a crush on him and I dont know what to do .I dont know if he likes me me too.

 

Hey girlie, flirt with him. Make eye contact and touch his arm when you talk to him and smile a lot. See if he returns your flirting or if he's freaked out by it. 


Lauren T.

by holly6090 on 2/17/2013 5:07:40 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
today was the valentines day school dance and there was this boy who used to be in my gym class but now he is barely at school. he ony comes on trips and dances and stuff. really wanted hm to dance with me so tried makeing eye contact and being more avalible but it didnt work and he had to leave early cause of his program. im really sad now cause for the past 3 years that ive been in middle school no one danced with me. i feel so rejected by boys and cant get them to notice me while my less atractive friends can. im kinda scared to get out of my currant social circles does that factor in? my self esteem is getting lower by the minute even when my friends say that i should'nt feel that was and call me beautiful i still feel bad what should i do?

by purplegirl1753 on 2/14/2013 5:15:32 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Guys don't seem to like me. Everyone says "be yourself" or "talk about something you have in common" but I need deeper advice. How do I make more guy friends? 

 

Hey girlie, part of making friends (guys or girls) is being outgoing and putting yourself out there. You're not going to make a new friend unless you start talking to people you don't know very well. Be willing to take risks like asking someone to hang out or exchanging phone numbers. 
Lauren T.

by puella94 on 2/10/2013 7:00:09 PM

 
 

I have this crush on a guy I have no chance with!
I don't have classes with him and I barely see him in the hall!
I need advice to get him to notice me! But I can't just go up to him and say hi because that you be awkward and I am too shy
Please help
-crushing with no chance

Hey girlie,

Why can't you go up to him and say hi? If you don't introduce yourself to him, how will he see how awesome you are? Start up a casual conversation and get to know him as friends! If you are shy, you could walk over with a friend and introduce yourselves together, or you could ask a mutual friend to introduce you. You could set up a study date or ask him what he likes to do after school, and once you get to know each other as friends you can start hinting that you like him. Good luck chica!

Meghan D.

by Taylorswiftlover4 on 2/9/2013 9:07:07 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
I have a friend, who's a guy...We talk a lot and he always tells me how his life is going, and what girls he has crushes on and what he's planning to do for them for V-day. (coming up. I'm scared.) A few boys told me he likes me, and when the V-day talk comes up I asked him if he liked me. He said, (direct quote) "No, but you're a really awesome friend." Before, though he told me I'm pretty, the whole this and that. I'm not sure if I like him, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong for him not to like me. Gah, When I think that I start to think I DO like him...It's so confusing. I really don't know if he likes me or not, even though he said he didn't.


Hey girlie,

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, he just might not like you in that way! If he said he didn't like you, I would believe him and try to stay friends. Maybe he has other guy friends he could introduce you to!

Meghan D.

by JapanLuver on 2/4/2013 6:32:35 PM

 
 

Nothing is weird about being single. Its just that so many people are dating or hooking up. If you arent ready dont even think about dating but if you are ready, it can be a lot of fun. Just be ready for the drama that comes along with it. And now your friends will be talking about who you are dating and not about who you arent.

by fashionqn on 2/4/2013 5:12:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I've been texting this guy and he told me he'd like to talk to me more during school, but I don't know what to talk about. I don't talk to guys much, except when we text. It seems so much easier over text! But my question is, how am I supposed to talk to him? What should we talk about? How do I keep the convo going?

Hey girlie,

Why not talk about the same things you talk about in texting? You can have the same conversation, just in person! Try talking about something comfortable like school or TV and then go from there!


 
Meghan D.

by Breezy28 on 2/4/2013 4:26:35 PM

 
 

I really like this guy, and we started texting all the time, he would call me gorgeous and beautiful and everything i could want him to say to me,after a few months he told me that he was really starting to like me, then that weekend i was talking to a girl i knew and she said he was saying all the same things he had told me, i didnt tell her he was saying it too me to because i didnt want her to be hurt like i was, when i confronted him he said "i didnt do anything wrong" and we havent talked since, that was a month ago.. i know i shouldnt feel like i did anything wrong and i think i deserve better.. but i need help getting over him ? :/

Hey girlie,

If she didn't tell you when he said those things to her, maybe he liked her before he liked you. Instead of confronting him, maybe you could ask him about it more casually and tell him about the people you have dated before too if that would make you feel more close to him. But if he said that to her a while ago, it's okay that he's changed his mind since then! You could try talking to him as friends again, or if you still want to move on, check out this article for some tips: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/10/12/How-can-I-get-over-my-ex.aspx

Meghan D.

by Tayla8991 on 2/1/2013 9:09:43 PM

 
 



mod mod mod whats there to do in toronto?

 

Hey Girl, I've never been to Toronto, but they have a lot of museums and hockey season just started. A game would be fun to go to.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 1/31/2013 3:16:47 PM

 
 



mod mod mod whats the average age to have kids?

 

Hey Girl, I think it's later 20s. why do you ask?

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 1/31/2013 3:16:12 PM

 
 



mod mod mod how do you get training to be a hospital transporter

 

 

Hey Girl, that is a great question to talk to a professional about or your school guidance counselor.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 1/31/2013 3:15:46 PM

 
 



mod mod mod whats a few interesting school assignments?

 

 

What type of school assignments? I had one assignment where we had to write a story, then create a dictionary, and create artifacts to prove the story was real. it was so cool.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 1/31/2013 3:15:05 PM

 
 



mod mod mod whats a way to express to someone that you want to fight less and stuff with them?

 

 

Hey Girl,

Just talk to them. Staying honest and talking about how you feel will help that relationship.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 1/31/2013 3:14:30 PM

 
 



mod mod mod whats a good outfit for going to a museum with a few friends?

 

 

Hey girl, jeans with a sweater and a scarf is good. Layer up because certain rooms in museums have to be certain temperatures.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 1/31/2013 3:12:45 PM

 
 

I think it's normal Smile I do the exact same thing.

by iluvmusic♥ on 1/31/2013 1:53:13 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD Ok so I am going out with my BGF and its just not feeling right...I liked him kinda and he liked me and he just asked me out yesterday but now I'm having second thoughts...Is this normal? What Should I do?

Hey girl, it can be totally normal to have second thoughts.  Check out this article called "Should you go out with him?" and focus on your feelings.  Don't pressure yourself to go out with someone if you don't want to.  Best of luck sorting out those feelings! 


Karin E.

by zeus11 on 1/31/2013 6:47:10 AM

 
 

You go, girl! Being single is awesome!

by jo_crox on 1/30/2013 8:11:39 PM

 
 

It is totally okay to be single. I'm single myself Smile I did have two guys ask me out before, but one was a good friend (who turned out to be gay and my sister blames me for "making" him gay, I know it's not my fault) and the other, I didn't even know him that well. I believe that you should really get to know someone and enjoy being around him before dating, because if you don't then it's like you're dating a complete stranger. But I guess my main reason why I'm single is because I'm not interested in dating. I did have the urges of wanting a boyfriend, but I'm over it now. Smile

by SusieMooCow on 1/30/2013 8:06:42 PM

 
 



MOD!
My bf and I broke up a week ago and we agreed to just be friends. He will text me (and I text him) on occasion, but he will completely ignore me at school! We will pass each other in the hall, but he will stare straight ahead (while we were dating I hardly ever saw him during school.) He even spoke to my sister in the hall (after I had passed by) and told her "hello, good to see you." Last week, he started coughing near my table at a club meeting and I jokingly asked "dying?" but he kept coughing and turned away. Should I ask him what's up with the shunning? He also asked me to prom before we broke up and I'm not sure if that still stands. I really want to know why he's doing this, but I don't know how to approach him. Thanks!

 

Hey girlie, he might just need some time to be ready to be friends. It's hard to make that switch to friends immediately. Talk to him about it (and prom) and see what you two can come up with. 


Lauren T.

by Bridgge2010 on 1/30/2013 7:00:40 PM

 
 



MOD
My friend who I have a crush on just broke up with his gf. I really want to ask him out but I am afraid to. He broke up with her last week but said he wanted to break up with her way before that. I believe that he is over her and he doesn't jump from gf to gf. How long should I wait before making a move? And what do guys think about girls that straight up ask them out? PLEASE HELP ME, MOD!
-Lizzierox<3<3

 

Hey girlie, wait at least a few more weeks. Even if he's over her, he still needs some time to himself to figure things out. Generally guys like when girls ask them out. It takes the pressure off of them so it's not so hard. 


Lauren T.

by lizzierox on 1/30/2013 5:58:58 PM

 
 

Me to @puella94!
*********************************************************
Join my club Divergent Lovers!! It has up-to-date info on the mivie/3rd book! Positions Available!

by -strawberry13 on 1/30/2013 5:52:15 PM

 
 

Its soooo okay to be single!!!!!!(;

by lilliebeans on 1/30/2013 5:42:39 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
So I finally asked my crush on a date. it's going to be our friends (they're dating) and us two. Her are my problems.
1.what should I wear!?
2. Should I sit by him?
3. We are trying to see a R-rated movie. How do I convince my mom to take me?
Thanks mods, xoxo.

 

hey girl! wear something that makes you feel confident. you'll want to look cute but casual since it's a movie date. and think layers since it's winter! Yes, I tihnk you should sit by him. If you're under 17 be prepared for mom to say no. there's a reason movies are rated R, because they're either scary or really graphic.

xoxo 


Katie L.

by youbelongwithme13 on 1/30/2013 4:43:44 PM

 
 

@puella94 Same here Frown Forever alone

by YouCanCallMeCat on 1/30/2013 4:39:41 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD HIDE THIS
I'm homeschooled and 15 lately Iv been feeling sad Iv been thinking about guys and having a bf
I see all these girls my age with boyfriends but me I feel like theirs something wrong with me
I have mild asbergers so I can't be around a lot of people so it's harder for me to meet new people
When I'm out though a lot of guys smile and stare at me I'm so shy so I usually just put my head down or look the other way my mom wants to sign me up for this church youth group
Should I do it? also I'm afraid that if I ever do get a boyfriend
And he finds out that I have asbergers he'll think theirs something wrong with me
and he'll break up with me

 

hey girl! I think the youth group is a fantastic idea. it'll help you meet new people and give you the opportunity to get to know some guys!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by redvelvetluv on 1/30/2013 4:25:40 PM

 
 

@puella94 yep same

by gl300013 on 1/30/2013 4:18:34 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I do martial arts, and I am really confident when my crush isn't around. When he is around, I stop being confident. I get really nervous. Last class, I started laughing while I was fighting. My crush and his friends thought I was crying. Then, after that, once I got in the car, my mom left something in the studio and she said for my uncle to watch my little brothers. My little brothers saw my crush (they overhear me and my mom's convos about him, so they know I like him) and they screamed his name and spelled it out. My uncle even did it too! My crush looked over. He definitely noticed. I was mortified. I started crying my eyes out. I actually got rejected by my crush a few months ago, and things were finally getting better. It seems like he likes me now. Now, I'm worried that he'll think I'm weird. What do I do when I see him tomorrow? He knew something was up.

 

hey girl! just try and play it cool. he may not even remember it! just be yourself and it'll work out

xoxo 


Katie L.

by isabellec on 1/30/2013 4:08:42 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod
So a few months ago, my current crush started acting strange. He asked me at karate if I was taking class, he rested his arm on my shoulder, patted my head, grabbed my leg at a haunted house and "just had" to tell me, and he started asking me questions, like where I go to school. Then, we got into a fight. I liked his best friend, and I told his best friend. The best friend gave me his number on fb. Then, I got a message from my current crush saying that his bff doesn't like me, but then he immediately asked if I liked him! I admit, I've always sort of liked him, even when I liked the bff, but to be safe, I said "no, just as a friend". He seemed disappointed after that, but then the next day, he tickled my neck. I told him I liked him a month later on fb, but he didn't respond. He saw it. Now, he's been joking around with me a lot. Should I ask him tomorrow "I've been noticing that you've been being more playful with me than usual. Do you like me?" Thanks (:

 

hey girl! I've totally talked to you about this before...I think it's time to make a move! He may still like you, but you'll never know until you make it clear you like him and ask him.

xoxo 


Katie L.

by britishgurl on 1/30/2013 3:58:08 PM

 
 

That's great that you're single because you want to be and not datimg just because of peer pressure. Keep up the good work!

@puelle94, don't worry. I had that same problem not too long ago.I wanted to do date but no guys liked me. I became okay with being single and focused on being myself and that attracted my guy friend. Now we're dating. My point is to just be patient and enjoy life and to be yourself because everyone else is already taken.

Neeed advice? Join my Advice Queens club. I will answer questions within 2 days. You can ask any topic and I will do my best to help. Plus, I post tips on the page! Thanks for reading! Remember: every girl is beautiful!

by scamp24 on 1/30/2013 3:53:47 PM

 
 



Momd mod mod mod Well I'm like this too except people have talked me in to dating guys (2 so far) that I don't like. I always deny many times and then they get me thinking well it might be good, then the next day I regret it and I don't want to hurt their feelings. Or lead them on. I just got out of a relationship with the second guy and I don't want it to. Happen again.

 

hey girl! hmmm...I don't really know what your question is. But don't let other people try and tell you what your feelings are. When it comes to dating, you gotta do what you want to do and are comfortable doing.

xoxo 


Katie L.

by ace8952 on 1/30/2013 3:37:19 PM

 
 

I have the opposite problem. I'd love to start dating but guys just don't ask me out.

by puella94 on 1/30/2013 3:03:06 PM

 
 



MOD!my bgf confessed to me but i said that i don't want to go out with him. Then he stopped talking to me and visiting me and i really missed it. i thought that i liked him so i telled him that i wanted to go out with him. but now it really is starting to annoy me and i want to breakup with him but i don't know if i should or how to break up with him. Please help!

 

hey girl! don't stay in a relationship if you don't like the guy. thats called leading someone on, and it's not very nice. I know it's tough, but it's only whats best!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by mininami28 on 1/30/2013 1:25:05 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I have a crush on my best guy friend, and he has a crush on me. I'm almost 12, and I don't know if i'm allowed to date yet. How do bring it up with my mom? I was going to tell him if he asked me out that I would have to think about it. PLEASE HELP, MOD!!!!

 

hey girl! try not to worry too much, your mom might be totally open to the idea. you'll never know unless you ask!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by julybaby01 on 1/30/2013 1:10:21 PM

 
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