Jana K.

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Family

GIRL TALK: I Really Don't Like My Parents. Help!

I really don’t like my parents. My dad hates me, my mom expects me to be perfect. I get all high A’s, do my chores everyday, sacrifice my social scene to be with my parents, the list goes on and on. But my little sister, however, is another story. No chores. All friends. Whenever she gets a C, which I think is horrible, my parents say to just try harder. I’ve tried talking to them multiple times, but each time they just say it’s a part of growing up. Help!

-Anonymous

Like my mom used to tell me when I was going through the terrible teens, “I may not like you all the time, but I will always love you all the time.” You probably feel the same way about your parents, and believe it or not, they more than likely feel the same way about you.

Are you really mad at your parents? Or are you a wee bit jealous of your lil’ sis? Maybe both? I understand you’ve tried talking to your parents about how you feel, but you may need to talk to them. They’re right—disagreeing with your parents is a part of growing up, but that doesn’t mean it has to hurt this much.

Respectfully let them know exactly how you feel. You could say, “Hey Mom and Dad, I know you love me, but sometimes I feel as though you favor my sister more, that you expect me to be perfect, but I’m not and I never will be. But I am trying to be the best daughter I can be.” Honesty is always the best policy and it will help them understand where you’re coming from.

If you really don’t want to discuss it again, then try writing a letter to express your feelings and then giving it to your parents. Trust me, honey, growing up is not easy and sometimes you may feel like you and your parents are from different planets, not the same family! It may also help to talk to someone not in your family, like a best friend or a school counselor. Your family cares a lot about you, and deep inside, you care a lot about them, too. A family meeting may help you all feel like an actual family again.

Lots of love,

L’Oreal

GOT YOUR OWN FAMILY FEUD? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY ANDREA T. ON 10/11/2008 1:20:00 AM 67 COMMENTS

67 READER COMMENTS

whoa, thats tough. im sawwy. i would hate that. if i were you, i'd ask my parents not to expect so much of me and i would probably fight back, but i know thats not the best way, but it's reality. well for me.

baseballchicky16 on 10/11/2008 1:37:18 AM

First comment? Great advice L'Oreal! Come vist my profile and leave comments! I want to see what you girls think of it!

BurninUp_1233 on 10/11/2008 8:22:31 AM

Yuck! It sounds like your 'rents expect a lot out of you! Hang in there chica! No parents are perfect!

horseyluv on 10/11/2008 8:29:33 AM

first comment ?????????
~mod~
i have the same prob 2 expt every time i try to talk to my mom she always gets a reall mad tone in her voice so i stop talking and we get into a stupid talk about how she loves me and bla bla bla bla .......

mylove4now on 10/11/2008 9:03:05 AM

loreal's advice is really good. it was good to bring up the part about being jealous of her sister....way to go loreal!
check out my profile girlies!!!

frappuccinofreak on 10/11/2008 9:44:43 AM

hey everone check out my profile <3

k123k on 10/11/2008 9:54:30 AM

whos modding??, the comments are comming up reall quick, good job (:

k123k on 10/11/2008 9:58:41 AM

MOD
all of my friends always fight and i am always stuck in the middle of it being pulled back and forth from one side to another. i dont even want to be in the fight with them cause i has nothing to do with me but they get mad at me if i dont take there side and get mad at me for being friends with the other person, what can i do to jus tbe friends with both of them???? thanks

Ugh girl, thats an AWFUL position to be in.Its best to remain in the middle ground, no need to get caught up in someone else's dramz. If they bug you about it just tell them that your life complicated as it is without addind everyones issues into it. It is wrong of them to get mad at you for not taking a side, stand up for yourself. xo JANA

k123k on 10/11/2008 10:10:14 AM

oh wow i know how you feel my parents favorite my little brother just be cause he's autistic

xXcuteemoXx on 10/11/2008 10:55:42 AM

My parents have been really stressed out lately. At work, it's my dad's busy season, so he comes home, and he's tensed up. He also doesn't usualy come home on time. My mom has been tense. Like, she'll be all happy and nice to be around, but then something will happen, and she'll get sour. The worse part is, is that my mom will confide in me about how my dad isn't doing stuff right, and my dad will confide in me about how he doesn't get what is aggrivating my mom. I see both sides of the story, and it's really hard. I'm afriad that they're going to get divorced, and I don't want that to happen!

Hey girlie, dont jump to conclusions. Parents have ups and downs just like anyone else. My parents had a really rough patch when i was 13 or so. Ultimately they love eachother. If they DO end up getting divorced, there isnt anything you can do, its their decision. If you are concerned, speak up. Tell your parents that you know both of them are stressed but its putting extra stress on you. xo JANA

_savvygirl_15 on 10/11/2008 11:07:59 AM

MOD- what can I do to make a sporty pink and gray polo more girlly and how should I do my hair?

Hey girl, pair it with a cute skirt and a headband or bracelets. xo JANA

maxrocks on 10/11/2008 11:42:49 AM

Mod, I keep bringing up to my Mom that I want to shave my legs and she keeps saying no. I really need to, my legs are ugly. How can I say it without getting "No" and her getting mad? Thanks!
~BurninUp_1233

Hey babes, dont keep hounding her because it will upset her. Give it a break for a month or so and then ask again. xo JANA

BurninUp_1233 on 10/11/2008 12:06:12 PM

I know how you feel. My parents seem the same way.
~K

sparklestar4ever12 on 10/11/2008 12:08:27 PM

Thanks Jana! I thinking about maybe waiting until my B-day in January since I'll be older and everything. I can wait that long since i'm not wearing shorts/skirts anymore. Thanks again!

BurninUp_1233 on 10/11/2008 12:15:29 PM

omg i kinda have the same prob my 'rents bug me about everything: "Pull up your shirt!" "Put on decent clothes!" (when im wearing a tank and jeans)"You look like a sl*t!" "Dont be mean to your siblings!!" and she NEVER yells at them. my brother is failing all his classes and she was all calm about it, like "Well try harder next time, todd." it bugs me much!!! i get so mad!!

luv2shop112 on 10/11/2008 12:22:35 PM

What L'Oreal's mother used to tell her sounds like a video of a little kid on YouTube. This little boy says to his mom, "I like you when you give me cookies, but I don't like you all the time". And then she tells him that she loves him and he's like, "I love you too, Mommy, but I don't like you all the time". It was really cute.

efourn63 on 10/11/2008 12:50:13 PM

man i hate it when my parents expect so much of me
but i love them <3
=D
hay check out meh profile and leave comments =D

fuzzygirl123 on 10/11/2008 1:04:05 PM

MOD MOD MOD
ok so i just started high school and everything has been so weird. there is soo much drama with friends, everyone is stressed, and plus i have boy drama too. is there a way i can just like de-stress and make this all better? thanks so much xoxo

ixheartxnickxj on 10/11/2008 1:09:48 PM

MOD!!!! MOD!!!
Well yesterday I went to the YMCA and I got hit pretty hard on the face with a basketball, today when I woke up there was a bruise! Will it change colors? Do you know any ways to speed up the healing? If not to you any good coverup?

JonasGirl120 on 10/11/2008 1:10:02 PM

uhh got the exact problemo as u girlie! ur not alone.

Endurancebabe18 on 10/11/2008 1:22:06 PM

thats awful. That is what I feel like my mom does though. She always talks about the fun times she had with my brothers before I was born. And when I say I want to be something she ignores me then like a week later she is like oh sam would be such a good whatever. It makes me really mad sometimes

Tennisgirl93 on 10/11/2008 1:35:45 PM

hey evry1!!!!!!!!!

uhll on 10/11/2008 1:43:56 PM

gee that would suck. im sorry!!!!

hey everybody!!!!! check out my profile and comment pleez!!!!!!!

coca08 on 10/11/2008 1:57:30 PM

Wow i have that same prob except its my lil bro not my sis so i kno wat ur goin throgh.

Come check out my Profile!!

cassyrules95 on 10/11/2008 2:03:04 PM

OMG MY PARENTS R THE EXACT SAME WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF I EVEN GET LIKE A 90% I GET YELLED AT BUT IF MY BRO GETS D'S THEYRE ALL LIKE "OH WELL AT LEAST ITS NOT AN F" I WAS WAS VALEDICTORIAN OF MIDDLE SKOOL AND WON AN AWARD IN MATH SCI AND L.A. AND MY MOM JUST SAID "Y DIDNT U WIN 4 HISTORY" AND GOT MAD @ ME. MY PARENTS DRIVE ME CRAZY SO NOW I DONT GIVE WAT THEY THINK OF ME THEY CAN TTLY DESPISE ME N I WONT CARE. MY SAYING IS MOR LIKE "I'LL ALWAYS LUV THEM, BUT I'LL NVR LIKE THEM" oh well i still got friends

bubblez101 on 10/11/2008 2:10:16 PM

Jana:

thank you so much! i'll do that! i can't thank you enough

_savvygirl_15 on 10/11/2008 2:11:04 PM

hehe. that girl in the picture above, looks like my life science teacher. lol i know that sounds wierd and idk how. but she does...lol

MrsNickJonas4ever on 10/11/2008 2:21:53 PM

MOD and other girls!!!! please help me! my 13th birthday is next month, and i want to have an AWESOME PARTY! one that i will remember. what should i do??? there will either be like 13 girls or like 25 girls and guys, it depends on what we do.. what do u think would be an awesome party to go to? any ideas will help!

sportygirly23 on 10/11/2008 2:44:02 PM

mod

my mom and her bf recently got into this "flipping homes" business. They buy trahsed homes, fix them, we live in them for a while and then sell them for more than we got it for. i hate it! we are constantly moving. we stay in the area but i would like to have just one home. we are constanly having to leave at any time because someone may want to see the house. im not even allowed to decorate my room the way i want to because it will "turn away possible buyers" plus it wouldn't be worth it if we move later on. we have moved 5 times in the past 3 yrs. im sick of all the new neighbors and neighborhoods. my moms bf says im selfish to think that and that i shouldnt care what my room looks like. do you think its selfish for me to think this?

missyrissy on 10/11/2008 3:03:43 PM

I have the same probablem, thanx for the good advice!!!

lovebug_77 on 10/11/2008 3:24:24 PM

sweetie. I am soooo sorry!

xxdreammeupxx on 10/11/2008 3:27:47 PM

Oh my gosh!!! I had the best halloween dance last nite!! I danced with my crush 4 the last dance. It was so romantic!! The song was Strawberry Wine.

someswimmer on 10/11/2008 4:08:09 PM

I just stopped crushing on this guy, But I am to chicken to tell him. He still thinks I do. Now I hate him, but he is all I can think about anymore! He is a total jerk, But I just can't get my mind off of him. How do I at least work up the guts to tell him the truth?

penguinrok on 10/11/2008 4:13:41 PM

i hate that but i'm going through the same heartache too

angel365 on 10/11/2008 4:14:00 PM

CHECK OUT MY PROFILE!!!!

snowwhite2097 on 10/11/2008 4:52:31 PM

Hey missyrissy-you aren't being selfish!! I can't even imagine having to move all the time... your mom should be focusing on what's best for YOU!! talk to your mom about how you feel...

FutbolChica on 10/11/2008 5:27:10 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I sweat a lot! I have tried many anti-perspirants and none have worked. I know u guys said to go to the doctor, but I read on the internet that that doesn't work and that i'm pretty much hopeless!! However, i found the site to this ebook that's supposed to stop it, but it's $45!! It's garanteed, but i don't think my parents would be that for me and I don't know what to do!!!
HELP HELP HELP HELP

Hey girl, I don't know how legitimate this product sounds. It's really expensive for an anti-perspirant. Have you tried using certain-dri? It is really effective and costs only about $6. If that doesn't work, I really recommend going to the doctor. Don't believe what you read online. Doctors can prescribe anti-perspirants of different strengths. -lauren

FutbolChica on 10/11/2008 5:30:34 PM

sportygirly23: Here are some ideas,

#1 Girls only slumber party, do makeup, nails, watch movies andmake frames and get a pic and put it in each frame.

#2 Have a boys and girls movie party, go to a theater and watch the movie then rent a party room and do all that.

#3 Do a dance type of thing and have each friend bring their boyfriend/girlfriend then turn the music up and have snacks. You do this at home or rent a firehall/church room.

Good luck and happy 13th birthday!

BurninUp_1233 on 10/11/2008 6:06:05 PM

My mom kinda does that........to my younger Bro. I had a B and my life was horrible. But I raised it to an A before report cards came out so it didn't hurt me any. and my bro is the all-star athlete in baseball and basketball. I'm average but it kinda bugs me sometimes.....

BasketballGirl on 10/11/2008 6:09:26 PM

Your parents probably have just learned over the years that you and your sister are motivated in different ways and are just plain different. They might've come to the conclusion that if they push you as hard as possible you'll always be as good as you are. Just try telling them that you need a break from all the pressure. As for your sister, just understand that she doesn't have the same standards as you, but the way that you lead your life right now is going to take you a lot further than how she leads her life. Good luck girly!

amazingairhead on 10/11/2008 7:03:42 PM

Lauren- it's a book that tells you how to stop it or something, but i don't really understand it...
I use certain dri right now, and that doesn't work.

Oh, well I still don't think you can control your sweat glands by reading a book. You can try talking to your parents about it, but I don't think it will fly. Try seeing if they will let you go to the doctor. -lauren

FutbolChica on 10/11/2008 7:17:24 PM

Hey MOD!!!
I have a question for you. I have irritations on my face, well I think they're irritations! I know they're not acne but they're reddish and they appear on my nose, below my nose, and below my lips. It has been there since June I think. I put cover up on it every morning so it doesn't look so bad. How can I get it to go away?

Try moisturizing those areas. If that doesn't work, ask your parents to look at it or go to a doctor. -lauren

balloonluvr on 10/11/2008 9:03:19 PM

****moddd help me pleaseeee
okay so this girl on my soccer team is one of my best friends(i have three, the other two arent on my team). we don't go to the same school but we live 5 minutes away (same school district). we see each other at practice twice a week and usually hang out on fridays after school or after games on saturdays or sundays. her old best friend whose also on our soccer team started being really bratty to her last year around this time and they had a huge fight in april and everyone on our soccer team took sides and it was terrible bc they are both such good friends of mine! even though the fight was really bad i got a lot closer to her during it.v recently her old best friend started being nice to her again. not bff nice, but definitely nicer. so they started being partners in soccer drills and stuff and at first it didnt bug me but now it does! how can she except her ex-bff so quickly again??? plus yesterday when i called her to hang out (we had even made plans on tuesday) and she said she was with her old bff and another girl. it got really awkward on the phone and we ended up not hanging out. today at our game she acted as if nothing had happened, and i tried to bring it up lightly but her ex-bff was around us the whole time. help me understand this pleaseee! i'm so confused with what she's doing to me.

Try talking to your friend about what she's doing and ask her how she feels about being close to her old bff again. Don't get mad at her dis her old bff because obviously she wants to be friends with her again. To start hanging out with her again, make plans with both your friend and her old bffs. -lauren

soccerhottie45 on 10/11/2008 9:38:12 PM

thanks lauren!!
but i moisten it every day and i hav talked 2 my parents and my mom said just to keep moistering it...sooo thanks anyway!
ill talk 2 my doc when i see him next

balloonluvr on 10/11/2008 9:50:16 PM

Parents... you love 'em but hate most of their rules/boundaries. Good luck & I hope everything works out!!! ~ Check out my profile if you get the chance! ♥

actress1 on 10/11/2008 10:21:23 PM

mod and girls:
i keep having these dreams where someone is trying to kill me and my family. Its a different person in every dream. in one my sister died. I've had three this past week and they are really starting to scare me. Usually if i have a bad dream i can get over it easily. but i keep having different ones and its really freaky!

Hey girl that's really scary. But remember, it's just a dream. If you keep having them maybe talk to your parents about it. -lauren

yoyozozo63 on 10/11/2008 10:24:17 PM

MOD
i have serious prob that i need help with.
ok here it goes
ok my mom has an apendicitis (her apendix) but its so bad that they cant do surgery n she can die, she wasi n the hospital n everything but theres nothing she can do. my brother got stabbed with a knife today. so he cant do anything with his left hand which means that only me n my dad can help. but my dad is working and is sick from stress, so am i. it hurts so much! i jsut want this all to stop and for it all to end! unnfortunatly knowone can do that. also my dad has a diseas that he can also die from so wen he can help, it isnt as much as i need. tonite my 2 bffs went out n i couldnt even go b.c i had to help out. knowone understands what im going threw. i feel like i just want to run away and never look back, or to just disapear. i dont have any1 to talk to. my bffs dont understand, we dont hav ANY cousilers near me, i dont want to call any weird numbers and i dont really have anyone to call (theres 8 kids in my fam but the older ones are t0o busy to do anything b.c there in college n geting married n so on so its just me n i cant really call) wut do i do? i just want this all to end! im soo scared and stress out and depressed, n nothing is helping me! everything just makes me cry and i need some help! like i said tho my sibs r all older n arnt around my house so they cant do anything. the closest sibling (colleen) is getting married so she is busy working on her wedding. my other sis (laura) is a model so she is traveling n stuff, erin my oldest sibling is busy with her bf, college, n some other probs so she cant do anything, jeremy has so much to do that i havent seen him in a couple months so he cant do anything, my other bro jordan is busy with college n work n i see him on thursdays but its only 4 like 5 mins. (at his work), then my last bro pj is busy with his friends so he cant help me even tho me n him r super tight. then my younger sib got stabbed in his hand n cant do a thing so i need help. (idk y i just listed all of my sibs but it helps if i just say everything) anyways wut do i do? i really need some help n asap! if i said anything bad please just post the answer or somthing! thanks for all you do

Hey girl, I'm really sorry that you're going through all of this. I really think you should call one of your older siblings- even if it's just to talk, they will be happy to talk to you. People might be busy, but chances are that most of them aren't incredibly busy at this moment. It's a Saturday night so they should be free to talk or come home to help out if they live close by (they won't have anything urgent going on like work or school). Call them and ask them for advice. They are your siblings and would be happy to talk to you in your time of need. -lauren

tinkgirly on 10/11/2008 10:56:52 PM

HEYHEYHEY everyone! my pro just got put up so check it out =] comment if you like

septemberxblue27 on 10/11/2008 11:17:37 PM

My bff has that same issue. Her parents expect her to have strait A's, be in sports year round, be a cheerleader, have a perfect bf, be beautiful, do chores everyday, and be perfect!!! Like she got in a fight with a friend of ours and she needed comforting but her parents wouldn't let her spend the night at my house cause they don't like her to spend the night at peoples house 2 times a week even though its a long weekend and she's upset. I feel so bad. So i see were she's coming from.

bubbligurl on 10/11/2008 11:36:39 PM

this isnt really a problem but sometimes my head gets so caught up in everything and i just wonder. ive had my boyfriend for two years now im gunna be fifteen pretty soon. sometimes i wonder how we got put together, is it right? like do i just know him so well that im not going to care when something happens that should make me mad cuz i know thats just how he is?

uhohjoison on 10/12/2008 12:33:10 AM

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