Andrea T.

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Ashley R.

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Family

GIRL TALK: Can I Have Your Attention Please?

I'm a middle child but my mom is having another baby in December. I know should be excited about it but I'm not because I always get pushed to the side. My older sister is 16 and so her and my mom are always yelling that she does to much after school. My little sister is 4 and is really demanding and so she gets insane amounts of attention. But I'm stuck in the middle.

I always feel like I'm being put off and being told to wait until later about whatever. I've started hanging out in my room 24/7 and I'm always on the phone. I dress different than normal people (like kinda emoish) to get more attention. I always have to beg my mom to get some 1-on-1 time with her like going to the mall or something. I hate being in the middle and I
feel like it's only gunna get worse once i have another sister. Please help!!

~Paige

Being the monkey in the middle is def not fun. It sounds like you just want your mom to show you she cares and to pay some attention to ya. We all need mama's lovin'! I feel ya.

I honestly, can't imagine what it's like to be the middle child because I'm the oldest of two and I have a younger brother. But what I do know, is how you feel like there isn't much attention on you. I felt that a lot while growing up. Because my brother is the baby of the family, my parents totally treated me like I was grown up compared to him and although they didn't neglect me or anything like that, I felt like my brother was getting more of the attention and more visible lovin'!

I def understand it's really tough, but you really need to bring that thought from the back of your head to the front, babe. The thought being: "My parents love me and care for me just as much as they do my sisters!" I bet ya that your oldest sister probably feels this way too! Your parents are totally not doing this on purpose.

You are one of their three precious daughters and they will totally listen to what you have to say to them. Sit them down one evening after dinner when they aren't tied up taking care of things and with work. This is the best time, because you know they'll have semi-clear minds to listen to ya. Sincerely pour out what's been on your mind and heart. Be completely honest with them, but take caution not to point the finger and blame them!

Talking things out and being open with your parents will definitely help to clear what's been going on. Post-talk, your rents will begin to realize what's going on and will make the effort to show you their love and care, hun. Things will get better. Remember to always think positive!

<3, Sharon

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BY ANDREA T. ON 10/4/2008 8:55:00 AM 66 COMMENTS

66 READER COMMENTS

First comment? Great advice Sharon!

BurninUp_1233 on 10/4/2008 9:22:05 AM

I feel like this alot!!!! I have a sister with special needs in the LIU program, and my parents always pay more attenchin 2 her and make me do all the grown up jobs!!!

soccer cutie 662 on 10/4/2008 9:28:26 AM

yea..i'm the older sister of my lil bro and i can't imagine being younger than i am..first comment?

nirvanaluver on 10/4/2008 9:32:32 AM

***GIRLS***
any advice on flirting?

xX♥jonas♥brothers♥Xx on 10/4/2008 9:33:39 AM

first comment!
i feel the same way sometimes with my family

watergirl327 on 10/4/2008 9:48:41 AM

I TOTALLY know what you mean! I'm the middle child and my older brother and younger sister ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS get the attention!

flip-flop_diva on 10/4/2008 9:51:04 AM

Well this is a hard topic. you should probably stop acting different and come right out and say it. "Mom i don't think i'm getting enough attention/care from you!"

ilovemypetz on 10/4/2008 9:56:02 AM

HELP ME!!! i really like this guy named Colby in my agriscience class. he is an aide and i wrote earlier to ask u what to do. u said i should ask him to help me with my work so we can work together. On the next day he was at a land judging competition and i didnt see him that day. the next day(today) i found out he was dating this girl named Jenna. i feel really bad now and i dont know what to do! please help!

girlzrock44 on 10/4/2008 9:57:01 AM

I was watching some of the family vidios from when me and my sisters were 5,4, and 3. I am the oldest. As I was watching them I relized how ignored I was when I was little! My parents barily even looked at me and if they even talkeed to me, they were yelling at me for no reason at all! How horrible is that!!! I know how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shopperlove5 on 10/4/2008 10:03:03 AM

****MOD MOD MOD MOD ****
The story above is like what happens to me , except it's my sis that does it. See , my mom died so I live w/ my sis and her family and my dad works alot cuz he's low on money. I'll ask my sis to take me shopping or something and she just says no and syas to ask my dad. I love my dad more than anyone , but I want to shop w/ girls b/c my dad doesn't always understand my shopping needs and neither does my sister (she ha smore money , too). I would buy my own clothes , but I don't get paid for doing anything , even tho my sis wants me to buy like everything. What can I do ???

Sorry to hear about your mom. Not having a mom is tough enough but add to that a dad who is doing his best to support his daughter. The truth is that shopping might not be something that can happen right now. There are lots of lower cost options, including finding fabulous stuff at thrift stores. Do you have a fashionable friend that can go with you? Any chance you can start babysitting to make extra funds? Do chores for an elderly neighbor who may be able to pay you some $$$ for your services? Good luck!

thtswtgir on 10/4/2008 10:07:43 AM

can anybody help me with this?! i really like this guy, lets call him "J", but he likes my best friend. My friend doesn't like him and he won't listen. My friend and i both want him to like me

ilovemypetz on 10/4/2008 10:10:23 AM

that's exactly what i happened to me! in my earlier comments Jenna(my friend) is going out with the guy i like. Do u have any advice for me?
BTW:THIS IS TO ilovemypetz!

girlzrock44 on 10/4/2008 10:27:25 AM

I'm the middle child too. but I'm also the only daughter so I don't have the same problem as u. I know how u feel though. sometimes I feel like my parents don't love me as much as my brothers, but I know it's not true.

M... on 10/4/2008 10:27:34 AM

hey Girlzrock44 well this is what i did.....i talked to my friend about it. if you told your friend and she didn't care, well thats just wrong. but did you tell the guy you liked that you liked him? that might help. My advice is Go For It. Your friend already did and you missed out, now its your turn

ilovemypetz on 10/4/2008 10:35:04 AM

Hello? girlzrock?

ilovemypetz on 10/4/2008 11:29:59 AM

ilovepets,
yay!!! another Q for the Date Ball!!!

will ilove my pets go out with the guy she likes?

Date Ball says: Of course!!!

I say: if they were ur friends, they'd be happy for u to go out with a guy u liked

coca08 on 10/4/2008 11:53:51 AM

hey evry1!!!!!!!!!

uhll on 10/4/2008 11:57:15 AM

awww! don't dress just to make people notice you! dress in what feels right and actually, really fits your personality.

shopper_babe on 10/4/2008 11:59:55 AM

oh, wow, i have that same prob!

lifelynx22 on 10/4/2008 11:59:56 AM

check out my pro! (:

magzdaspaz on 10/4/2008 12:00:18 PM

coca08-
what is the date ball? just wondering!

lifelynx22 on 10/4/2008 12:00:50 PM

MOD_
i have to buy my own clothes so i only have $100 dollars to spend. but i still want a skirt and some cargo pants, i need more tops, sweaters, and socks/leggings as well as extra money in case i need shoes, undrwear, a new winter coat, ect. i can't spend any more $ cuz everything i save has to go towards a vacation. what do i do?

lifelynx22 on 10/4/2008 12:03:40 PM

sorry ilovemypetz! i had something to do. Anyway.... see Jenna(my friend) and Colby(the guy i like) are both in 8th grade and im in 7th. Does this change anything?

girlzrock44 on 10/4/2008 12:26:55 PM

Thanks coca08!!!!

ilovemypetz on 10/4/2008 12:28:18 PM

Thanks funny, you see I'm the oldest child and nothing I do seems to be good enough for my mom. Its like she never has time for me because she is working or taking care of my two younger siblings.

gatewoodbeauty on 10/4/2008 12:36:30 PM

MOD please help

this happens to me kind you see my sister does Gymnastics and she is really good and competes she is always doing hand stands, round offs or kartweels, when i try to do some tihng i think is fun in the house my mom says that it is annoying and that i need to stop if i say an thing about my little sis she will get mad at me it is allways about her!!!

sosierox on 10/4/2008 12:37:25 PM

umm kinda, but mostly in a good way. this is better, you can go for it now. he won't spread rumors because he's not in your grade. it will be less awkward

ilovemypetz on 10/4/2008 12:48:21 PM

ilovepets r u still there?

girlzrock44 on 10/4/2008 12:48:52 PM

MOD
i really really reallyyyyy like one of my best friends bf. she knows it 2 but they r so cute 2gether and im really happy 4 her cuz i can tell they love eachotherbut my problem is i cant help but feel a little jealous. and shes told me if i dont feel comfortable w/ them going out she will break up w/ him cuz she would rather have him mad at her than me mad at her but i dont want her 2 do that even tho i am kinda uncomfortable with it. ok i know its not a question but i kinda need some advice.
thanks

It's normal to feel a little jealous when you're friend is in a great relationship and you are not. The guy is more attractive to you because he is with your friend and makes her happy. I think you need to put your feelings aside and be happy for your friend, as tough as that might be. It's a hard lesson to be happy for your friends even when they have something that you want, but it is an important lesson. Encouraging your friend to break up with him because you have feelings for him is not the right move.

*CrAzY*gUrLiE* on 10/4/2008 1:25:52 PM

*****MODMODMOD*****
i need ur help i wrote earlier and told about the guy i like and how he's now dating my friend. ilove pets said is should tell him i like him or tell my friend how i feel. should i really bother then or should i be a good friend and leave them alone? if my friend and the guy i like are both in 8th grade does that change anything?

girlzrock44 on 10/4/2008 1:34:58 PM

*******MOD***************
ok, well this year my friends and i arent in the same classes, so i've been making new friends. well for the first time i sat with them at lunch wed, (and thurs and fri!). i didnt sit with my other friends everyday, just 2 or 3 times a week (and then i sat with my other bff, who i sat with monday&tuesday). well ever since i sat with them wednesday, my friends, and mostly my bffl, have been acting weird. my bffl hasnt been talkin much 2 me, and shes been acting weird when she does. which it makes no sense cuz she likes all but 1 of the girls, and the 1 girl is kinda crazy but shes really fun!! do u think she's jealous?? and what do i do??? help plz thx mod!!!!!!!!

lilgirlyme on 10/4/2008 2:43:52 PM

MOD
i'm also a middle child and i get lots of attention but my older brother and little sister always "gang up" on me and call me names cuz i'm overweight and they think it's funny cuz i have a really bad temper. how do i deal w/ them?
thanks!

CCHS13 on 10/4/2008 3:08:22 PM

Hey Mod!

I sent in a survey to "Survey Says" and would like to know if they put up every survey or just the good ones. Also just to get an idea, if they like your survey how long does it USUALLY take for them to put it up? Thanks and for makin' Girls Life awesome!

~BurninUp_1233 ♥

BurninUp_1233 on 10/4/2008 3:29:35 PM

I know how you feel...i'm the middle child too

sparky4me on 10/4/2008 3:35:51 PM

CCHS13,

Sounds like you have some troubles! Here are some ways that I think would help!

1)Tell your parents! They always understand.

2)Tell them that how their treating you just is making you sad. And they should think about how they'd feel in your situation.

3) Do both! LOL !

Good Luck and hopefully you like my ideas and they help you!

BurninUp_1233 on 10/4/2008 3:40:00 PM

mod
k i was hanging out w/ mi bff today. i'm sooooo mad at her!! k were went to a craft/bake sale thing. we spent 3 hrs there. we go back to her house and right in front of mi and calles one of her other friends and invites her to sleepover! i was told by mi parents to be home by 4. and she know that! its not event that i didn't get invited to sleepover it that she made plans with her other friend infront of mi face! i neaver had or will do it to her. and she does it to mi alll the time and i'm sick of it! should i say something to her? i'm soooo mad at her!!!

You should say something to her if it is really upsetting you. You don't want to let it go without saying something because over time you will just get more mad and that will not help the situation.

maine lover 4 ever on 10/4/2008 3:41:33 PM

BurninUp_1233
thanks so much! i'll do that

CCHS13 on 10/4/2008 3:45:27 PM

I understand what u mean im a middle child too.There are two middle children since there are four kids in my family.I have an older brother thats 15,im 12,my little sister is 8,and littlest sister is 4.So me and my 8 year old sister are the middle children.Except my 8 year old sister has ADD and a learning disability,so she gets alot of attention for that.Older sib whos 15 gets alot of attention,and of course my 4 year old sib gets alot of attention cause shes the baby of the family.Sometimes my mom forgets my name. It's annoying.

hls97 on 10/4/2008 4:08:54 PM

I know how you feel I'm the middle child to and it does get annoying sometimes just remember that your sisters are getting attention for bad things like doing too much after school or having tantrums and you don't want that kind of attention. So focus on showing your mom some things that would get you good attention like getting a good test grade or making the field hockey team. Good luck and congradulations on your new sibling. hANNah

<3ilove<3joejonas<3 on 10/4/2008 4:18:26 PM

MOD~
I have a crush on this guy, Brad, and I really like him. My friends say he likes me back, but I don't know for sure. They're trying to get me to ask him out but I don't know if I'm ready or not to date yet. How do you know if you're ready to date?
Also, yesterday at our cross country team dinner Brad and I were hanging out a lot and talking. It was raining so my mom and I gave him a ride home so he didn't have to walk. But today Brad barely talked to me or looked at me when we were at one of our invitational's. I tried talking to him and congratulated him when he finished, but he would say a couple words then walk off. What happened?

He's probably just nervous around you or was having a bad day. Just make it comfortable for him to talk to you, give an opening, (which it sounds like you are doing), and he will come around. There is no magic way to decide if you are ready to date you just have to go with what feels right

Peach Blossom on 10/4/2008 4:35:20 PM

thanks mod!

maine lover 4 ever on 10/4/2008 4:50:19 PM

MOD, and all other girls please

My bday is next month and I am having my party at the park in our town.. there are like tables and everything there. We reserve the place or something and then just as many ppl can come as I want. I don't want us to be bored, and I need some ideas for some funnnnnnn funnnnnn games that we could play.. one thing it has is a sand vball court so we will do that. There will be about 25 people, boys and girls both. What are some things we could do? please help me think of some more ideas! thanks!

sportygirly23 on 10/4/2008 5:25:17 PM

MOD~~~
At my new school I thought no one liked me cuz no one talked to me or anything. but the other day this group of sorta popular girls invited me to sit with them. I didn't really say anything cuz all they talked about were things that happened b4 i got there or things they do together like sleepovers and stuff. One of them said I should sit with them more. I want to, but I want them to talk to me or talk about something I can too.

No one expects you to be in on everything overnight. Nothing wrong with listening and saying things like, "what happened next?" or "how did you handle that?" or "that's an amazing story!" Whatever works. When it's time to jump in, stick to topics you know like "is everyone ready for the test?" or "did you watch Gossip Girls?" or "anyone going to the game this weekend?" While it's great to be included, make sure you are spending time with girls who are nice and share your interests.

prettybeachgirl on 10/4/2008 5:37:18 PM

So my bestfriend liked this guy and he asked her out but then my other friend heared some of his friends talking saying he only asked out my bff b/c it was a dare or something so my bff broke up w/ him even though she still liked him but she didn't want to be a practical joke but then later she found out it wasn't a dare so now she is reaklly sad i want to cheer her up but i don't know how what should i do????

cmtsparkle10 on 10/4/2008 6:37:39 PM

Thank you soooo much for posting this because i have the same prob!! it sux being the middle child, especially when ur the only girl, your older bro has a disease, and ur younger bro is addopted!!!!
But i have another problem 2-
so my mom thinks that she does EVERYTHING herself and my brother and i are spoiled brats and only care about ourselves! NOT TRUE!!!!! so if i make a small mistake, she gets extremely mad and takes away my stuff!!!!! and even tho i try harder to do good things around the house and stuff, she barely agnoliges it and i have no idea if and when she will give me back my stuff!
like a week ago she took some of my clothes and threatened to give them away!!!!!!!!!! it doesnt matter how hard i try, and how many times i say im sry, she asks like she doesnt even love me, she says things like "If i could switch you with another child, i would in a second!". it really hurts and its hard for me to hold back the tears. i dont mean to be selfish, and im not perfect, i do very well in school and yet i get the worst attention and she treats me the worst of all the kids!!!!
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

polkadot111094 on 10/4/2008 8:34:14 PM

whoa.

i kinda know how u feel.

my mom is pregnant 2.

but i already have an older brother.

so that means i'll bcome the middle child.

i like being the youngest.

i always got more attention.

but now, that's gonna change.

which might change my whole life 4ever.

it's freaky, cuz i'm twelve, so the baby's gonna b 13 years younger than me!

plus, my mom is 42.

i just wish the baby was a girl.

and that i would still get some of the attention.

Buh-Bah on 10/4/2008 9:02:00 PM

I'm the oldest do i don't have that problem. But sometimes i kinda feel bad because my brother is an allstar in sports. He's an awesome pitcher in baseball, he's the star basketball player, and he's not a bad football player. I love sports and I play but I'm not the allstar like my brother is. It kinda makes me feel bad when My dad and my bro get all caught up in sports i feel left out.

BasketballGirl on 10/4/2008 9:51:22 PM

HEY PEOPLE!!
CHECK OUT MY PROFILE AND LEAVE COMMENTS!!!!!!!!
XOXO, MrsNickJonas4ever

MrsNickJonas4ever on 10/4/2008 9:58:31 PM

MOD MOD MOD
Hi mod...
So I like this guy(bob lets call him)...alot!and bob is in 4 of my classes. I talk to him sometimes and he likes talking to me, like he smiles. Also I often catch him looking at me.Like in Social Studies the only people he looks at that I see are the teacher,his friends, and me. One day in homeroom he looked at me and started talking about something to his friend who also looked at me in mid sentence...to bad I couldn't hear them since I was all the way across the room. I also happen to know he is single. But I am waaay to scared to ask him if he likes me. Do you think he likes me??? Girls u are also welcome to respond to this...THANX!!!

hannahmontana on 10/4/2008 11:34:18 PM

Hey polkadot11409,
WOW! I feel really bad 4 u!!!!!!!!!! I am sooo srry ur mom says stuff lyk that. I really think u should talk to somebody about that...my parents would never say that they would give me away for another child... wow i almost broke into tears when I heard that story...D*=...just remember God loves you and is watching over you even when things look bad.. btw I know how it feels to have an older brother with a disability mine has Autism.

hannahmontana on 10/4/2008 11:44:09 PM

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Andrea T.

is modding

Ashley R.

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Family

GIRL TALK: Can I Have Your Attention Please?

66 READER COMMENTS

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