Jana K.

is modding

Dear Carol

Fake Flasher

My friends and I were hanging with some boys and pretending to flash them. We didn’t do it—we were just playing. Later, one boy asked why we didn’t really flash and said we are the girls with the biggest boobs. I was shocked and felt kind of dirty. Not in a smelly way—as in, being looked at and stuff. Every time I see him now, I am afraid he will stare at me.

Dear Fake Flasher,

It’s natural to feel awkward, but I hope you can put this behind you. I’m sorry that boy turned something silly into something that felt degrading. It’s awful to feel like you’re being stared at. But here’s the thing: If you play as if you might flash boys, don’t be surprised if they act interested in your body. In the future, beware of inviting unwanted attention.

Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.

For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.

BY ANDREA T. ON 10/3/2008 5:09:00 PM 133 COMMENTS

133 READER COMMENTS

OMG! you really shouldn't have done that. but forget it ever happened. they're just being perverts. so move on with your life and think,'he is the problems'

smileygrl333 on 10/3/2008 5:17:19 PM

Ewwww...

cjlizzy on 10/3/2008 5:17:43 PM

******MOD AND GIRLS*****
there is this guy i really like. I think he might sort of like me but im not sure. He is new to school. He lent me his jacket and we always talk and stuff in class. Some times he will like hit me on the head lightly or in the face with a paper like as a joke. does he like me or not????

Hey babes, thats cute, guys giving you their clothes to wear is a definite sign of someone crushing on you. xo JANA

bee0521 on 10/3/2008 5:25:48 PM

1st comment i think not

bee0521 on 10/3/2008 5:28:08 PM

1st comment?? lol

but dats sorta sad u feel like dat..
Good Luck Wit erythang!!

Lil_La on 10/3/2008 5:35:41 PM

ahhh so nasty

newmoon on 10/3/2008 5:54:00 PM

This has been in one of the magazines embarrassing moments section before!

cookiemonsterxox on 10/3/2008 5:59:04 PM

i like food

*pretty~preppy~pink!* on 10/3/2008 6:01:54 PM

MOD!!! MOD!!! MOD!!!
How much longer is the Blush Much special (brought to you by Tampax thing)? I really wanna know. Cuz i come on daily to read those. they're fun to read. please tell me you'll have it on for another month or so!!!
Thank you!!!

Hey babes, I think it will be up for a while. xo JANA

x0xinseparablex0x on 10/3/2008 6:11:32 PM

to cookiemonster: where did u see this as an embarressing moment? I sent in one about fake flashing (and I had a bathing suit underneath; i was showing my friend which one) and it never appeared as a Blush Much? I know they don't all appear but where did u see it?

abbyy on 10/3/2008 6:28:31 PM

What does she mean by flash? I do not know what she meant by that! Some one tell me! IF it is not gross!!!

stylechic21 on 10/3/2008 6:34:56 PM

MOD!!!!!
what's flashing?

Hey babes, its when you lift your shirt up and show someone your chest. xo JANA

Cutiepie445 on 10/3/2008 6:56:40 PM

no worries chick i probably woulda done the same thing ! its kinda weird how a guys mind works though huh?!?!??!

liveballet on 10/3/2008 7:00:34 PM

Uh flashing means lifting your shirt or pulling down your pants to show some...skin? lol. And I think it's suppose to be done quickly. I don't know...This stuff is just awkward.

MunkQoo on 10/3/2008 7:01:24 PM

Well haha flash means basically to pull your shirt up really quick and show people your boobs. Not classy at all! You shouln't hang out with people if they are like that. If you want to know what kind of a guy they are, don't listen to a word they say, watch what they do. If they are always staring at your chest or really handsy... most def. not the kind of guy you want to hang with. Saddly i learned the hard way and have to live with my self everyday and live with regret. hang with the kind of guys that respect your body and you in general. You will never regret it!

Prengles on 10/3/2008 7:01:27 PM

OMG! duuuhhhhhh! i mean who'd 'pretend' to flash guys!?

nirvanaluver on 10/3/2008 7:07:49 PM

ive read this before! i know i have!

wasnt this question already in an issue?

dancechiky456 on 10/3/2008 7:18:33 PM

wow...that mod was fast.

nirvanaluver on 10/3/2008 7:30:39 PM

abbyy: It was in the magazines under embarrassing moments. I don't remember which edition. It was this exact one because I remember them saying the guy told them they had big boobs.

cookiemonsterxox on 10/3/2008 7:37:00 PM

*MOD*
i like this boy and i dont know if he likes me he is so fun and eveything.what to do?

hey girl, if you like him then go for it. xo JANA

mschrisbrown on 10/3/2008 7:39:16 PM

Man! That must have stunk!

darkfairy2684 on 10/3/2008 7:45:18 PM

that guy is such a pervert

balletbookworm on 10/3/2008 7:53:33 PM

MOD
theres a guy that i like that is like, five lockers down from me, and i have liked him for three years now.he's somewhat my brothers friend, but he doesnt come over or anything, so i dont know him that well. i try to talk to him, but i get really shy around guys. i dont know what to do. help!! also, how do u tell if a guy is crushing on u?

Hey babes, if you dont talk to him, there is no way for him to like you. You have a locker right by him, capitalize on it. Say hi, smile, ask how his weekend was. Little questions can have a BIG impact. xo JANA

fruitsbasketfan95 on 10/3/2008 8:24:20 PM

AWWW i'm sorry! but really maybe you shouldnt have done that. what ever! sometimes its fun to get attention like that

-vinniepuppy- on 10/3/2008 8:37:19 PM

Ewww... that's sort of your fault though.

girscouts2664 on 10/3/2008 8:43:05 PM

Come check out my profile!!!

girscouts2664 on 10/3/2008 8:53:52 PM

holy freaking god!!!! this is kind of random actually this is really random but im soooo hyper right now!! and omg my crush has a freaking six pack!!!!!!

ducks_go_quack123 on 10/3/2008 8:56:38 PM

ummmm u really shouldnt have done that

surferbaby101 on 10/3/2008 8:59:57 PM

OMG I'M SO SORRY HONEY!!!!!!!!! i think he is a idiot! i hate when guys look at me like that! 2 years ago i lived near these boys at they made rude and sick comats about my body and i can't stop thinking about what boys think about my body can one of you girls help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

moonbars1212 on 10/3/2008 9:14:33 PM

fruitbasketfan,
its a Q for the Date Ball!!!!

does this guy fruitbasketfan95 likes like her back???

Date Ball says:Im cool with that!

I say: talk to him!!!

coca08 on 10/3/2008 9:18:21 PM

ik no one knows me but that would be great 2 have some friens on here! : )

ducks_go_quack123 on 10/3/2008 9:21:44 PM

well that was stupid! you brought it on your self! that whole situation is gross and awakward.

MrsNickJonas4ever on 10/3/2008 9:27:18 PM

what the heck??? are you SERIOUS?? for all those people that left comments like "eww and perverts" I mean COME ON! they're teenage guys. you pretend to lift up your shirt. what are they supposed to think? Learn to have more respect for yourself and for your body. Teenage guys don't take flashing in a joking manner. That's how girls get hurt. Doing silly things like that, that some people DON'T take as a joke.

*Fenderbabe69* on 10/3/2008 9:34:58 PM

Comment 1 and 2 . . . . why would you fake flashing???!!! To me it's kinda stupid. Sorry, it's the truth.

sparklestar4ever12 on 10/3/2008 9:42:27 PM

My friend has been hanging with this popular, boy crazed attention grabber girl. I just was in a fight with my friend a few months ago, and now I feel like another ones coming on. Today she was hanging with the popular snobby people and completely rejected me from hanging out with her. Every time I'd try to walk over to her, she'd immediately make fun of me and start talking to jassica, the popular snob. She's acting so mean now. All she likes to do now is shove people and form into big crowds in the hall and chat about boys or whatever. I feel really hurt, and can't just "tell her", she'd just roll her eyes and sigh or laugh at me and go tell Jessica. What should I do? I don't want to lose another friend.

sakura on 10/3/2008 10:12:34 PM

*****MOD AND GIRLS*****
there is this guy that i like and i am pretty sure he likes me. What are somethings that 14 year old guys do when they like someone

bee0521 on 10/3/2008 10:38:50 PM

Ok i really need to know if my crush likes me back. I think he might but im not sure. Ok we have choir together and we sit across the rows from each other and he always looks at me and smiles but im not sure if hes just being friendly and hes also in my math class and we used to sit one seat away with my friend in between us he always tries to be funny but sometimes he acts stupid but i laugh anyway just to be nice. and we used to be in the same science class but now we aren't bcuz the work was too easy so i switched to advanced science so now we only have 2 classes together. i see him in the hallway a lot and he smiles at me when i go past him or he goes past me.
BUT my problem is i dont know if he is just being friendly or if he likes me. HELP PLEASE!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!=D

I think he likes you! Girls, what say you??

a_girl on 10/3/2008 11:14:39 PM

its ok to fake flash boys i myself have done many crazy things it is just that then some things backfire and turn into things you did not want them to....

kenzie101 on 10/4/2008 1:10:31 AM

a_girl~
i think he likes u!!!

novemberbaby164 on 10/4/2008 1:25:42 AM

***MODMODMODMODMODMODMOD*****!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to where a thong, but i'm afraid to ask my mom BECAUSE she'll most likely make fun of me and tell my dad.

i'm really active so regular undies dont work so well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please HELP!!!!

Explain to Mom that you have a private matter to discuss with her in confidence. Let her know that you need a variety of underwear styles so your clothes look right. Tell her you would appreciate it if she not only took your coming to her seriously but that you need to know you can trust that certain things will stay between you. To really make your point, let you know you won't feel comfortable coming to her for serious issues like drinking, drugs and dating if she can't be responsive about something as simple as a thong. Good luck!

spunje bob on 10/4/2008 3:29:10 AM

~a_girl~~

he might like you, suggest hanging out sometime.
you two have choir together? start a conversation about it! (well not during choir, i mean) do you know when his b-day is? make/buy something sweet. he'll totally warm up!

holapeeps on 10/4/2008 10:24:55 AM

wait..... how do you "fake flash"? can someone pleez tell me?

star101 on 10/4/2008 10:55:06 AM

I am having a really bad day. yesterday me and my crush were talkibg about who we liked and he really wanted to know. so i told him to guess and at one point he thought it was him, then two other guys. then when my friend in art class told him that it wasn't him. i saw him look almost like defeated or something. we are pretty good friends. what does this mean? and also my friend seems to be wanting to hang out with some other girls and we have almost been drifting apart a little. should i confront her about this? its eating me up. i dont want to lose her. i need all the help i can get.

naughtynautica on 10/4/2008 11:32:46 AM

omg.............no offence but that's kinda weird................................ ;)

madee09 on 10/4/2008 11:34:42 AM

***GIRLIES***:
I like this guy. he is in a few of my classes. I want to talk to him and stuff, but i dont know what other people will think. He is sort of a nerd, but is really cute and sometimes funny. My friends would think i am insane if i told them. what should i do?

jenlund96 on 10/4/2008 11:36:08 AM

*mod*

I like this guy. he is in a few of my classes. I want to talk to him and stuff, but i dont know what other people will think. He is sort of a nerd, but is really cute and sometimes funny. My friends would think i am insane if i told them. what should i do?

i posted before but i wasn't modded.

jenlund96 on 10/4/2008 11:45:58 AM

well, i have no sympathy to you, cuz i mean, you totally asked him to look at you that way. i mean, pretending to flash them? what was with you?

_savvygirl_15 on 10/4/2008 12:29:27 PM

jenlund96:

it shouldn't matter what your friends think of your crush, if you truely like him. if you like him, then go for him! i mena, just say hi at the beginning of class, or pretend you don't know the homework, and go ask him, then smile sweetly and say thanks . small things like that go a long way

hope i helped!

`savvy

_savvygirl_15 on 10/4/2008 12:31:46 PM

a_girl:

i think he's flirting with you!! meaning: he lieks you!

_savvygirl_15 on 10/4/2008 12:33:58 PM

Jenlund96-
If you really like him it shouldn't matter what other people think. If you do care what they think, maybe you don't really like him enough to be your BF.
-Sparky4me

sparky4me on 10/4/2008 12:34:57 PM

POST A COMMENT

You must be signed in to post a comment. SIGN IN or REGISTER

LOGIN OR SIGNUP