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Ask Lucky

I’ve been trying to make friends with the popular girls, but I’m really shy. What’s the best way to approach them?


 
It’s great to make new friends…but for the right reasons—not just because they’re popular. So assuming you genuinely dig these girls, here’s the scoop: Instead of approaching the whole crew at once, strike up one-on-one conversations—at your lockers, in the lunch line or in gym class. Initiate chit-chat about Professor Yawn’s sleep-inducing tirades on Civil War cannons, or something like, “Oh, super. Meatloaf on the cafeteria menu…again.” If she laughs or pipes in, consider the ice broken. And don’t forget to smile!

BY ANDREA T. ON 10/2/2008 4:35:00 PM 66 COMMENTS

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66 READER COMMENTS

Great! My questions already asked!! I'll have to try that!

ashpi512 on 10/2/2008 5:47:09 PM

Send her a note. A unique question like would you rather go to school for an extra hour a day or never sleep? That would break the ice and if she thinks you are funny, thats a good way to start.

pretty1717 on 10/2/2008 6:07:35 PM

y does evry1 want 2 b friends with "popular" girls? there are really nice friendships u'll miss out on if u stay focused on ur image.

lifelynx22 on 10/2/2008 6:36:01 PM

I hate those awkward silences.

MunkQoo on 10/2/2008 7:09:12 PM

being friends with the popular girls isn't that great. It's just like being friends with everybody else, except more drama. I'm friends with them, but only because I've known some of them since elementary school. Try approaching people who have the same interests as you, not just because they're popular. Honestly, being popular in middle school, isn't going to get you anywhere in life. In 20 years, nobody will care if you were popular, but you may have made some great friendships that will last you through your life.

musiclvr11p on 10/2/2008 8:12:29 PM

I was popular for a year. I never ever want to be popular again. It was a terrible experience. They made fun of every girl who wasn't popular they had fights about boys they got mad at each other for the stupidest things like one girl called another a black hole. I still don't understand why that causes a huge fight but whatever.
Popular isn't great I would love to go back and change who I was friends with.

proudbrat10 on 10/2/2008 9:45:11 PM

Whoa! I got first post! I never imagined that would ever happen! And just in case i wasn't clear, i don't want to be friends with these girls cause they're popular, its because there are a few nice, and cool girls who i want to be friends with.
_________________________________________________

Plus do you think you guys could help me out with this? There is a girl in my class, she was my penpal last year in this school thing. We have some things in common but we don't sit next to each other or anything. She'll sometimes say hi to me or somthing but i don't know how i can approach her or talk to her or anything. She's popular and usually is talking with a bunch of people. I'm extremely shy and quiet. I am very, unless i'm talking my close friends. Any help out there?

ashpi512 on 10/2/2008 9:59:08 PM

i was frinds with the popular girls once i hated it i left bak 2 my old friends within 3 months i got all the way to the top of the social pyramid it didnt take the long they approched me and i got to the top anD I HATED IT all we did waz tak shiz bout other girls and act like sluts seriously i never had fun now they all hate me but im happy now i can act stupid and silly nd not worry wat ppl say!!!!!!

iluvcandy on 10/2/2008 10:59:06 PM

MOD AND GIRLIES!!!!!
DO U GUYS KNOW ANY GOOD TRUTHS AND DARES MY SLEEPOVER 2MORRO NITE ND WEN WE PLAYED WE COULDNT THINK OF ANY THING DO U GUYS HAV ANY THING WE ARE 13 BUT LYK A MIND OF LIKE 16 SO ANY IDEAS 4 TRUTHS OR DARES 4 AGES 13-16

iluvcandy on 10/2/2008 11:02:19 PM

I finially broke in with the popular girls this year. It's awesome! None of them are mean like they are in movies or anything. The trick is to start joining in their conversations, and be yourself! If you're really worried about looking right, or doing the right thing, you aren't going to be a very fun person to hang around with. At least if you do something funny or embarrassing... you'll break the ice and fit in better. Hope I helped!

Lexy5 on 10/3/2008 1:36:15 PM

iluvcandy - You could dare them to run around the house, call a crush and hang up, stick pop-corn in their noses! (Classic!) And for truths, ask if they have any crushes, and stuff like that, hope i helped!

me girl on 10/3/2008 2:22:53 PM

omg! i am always worried about that kinda stuff lexy5! thanks for the advice!

volleyballrox33 on 10/3/2008 5:00:27 PM

popular must be different in other schools. there's like 2 types at my school. the drug users  who get to go to all the big parties. and then there's the fun popular people who just laugh and shop. which one would u rather be in?

shopper_babe on 10/3/2008 5:52:43 PM

i have a total crush on my ex boyfriend he is so CUTE and FUNNY! It seems that he likes me too but he also dated my BFF, she thinks she can control whoever he dates, I really like him but if i date him would my Bff get mad?

rock3r_chik on 10/3/2008 6:08:34 PM

mod- i have a problem thats kind of the opposite of this. ok i have really great friends from k-5th grade and they are still my friends, and i have made countless new great friends at middle school (im in 7th now), and then there's some people i know who want to stick to me like glue that i dont really like. they're kind of wierd. (this isn't as big of a problem, but they kind of make me look like a freak). i want to get my social life back together and hang out with my new and old friends that are truly my friends. how can i do this? i know it sounds stupid and has an obvious answer, but i really need help. its not as easy as you think. help!

 

Hey babes, i think you need tobe mre accepting of people. It isnt nice to think that some of your friends make you look like a freak. If you are open to everyone and kind to everyone, you will have no problem getting your social life together. xo JANA

aerogirl1987* on 10/3/2008 6:41:11 PM

Come check out my profile!!!

girscouts2664 on 10/3/2008 8:54:52 PM

HELP ME!!! i really like this guy named Colby in my agriscience class. he is an aide and i wrote earlier to ask u what to do. u said i should ask him to help me with my work so we can work together. On the next day he was at a land judging competition and i didnt see him that day. the next day(today) i found out he was dating this girl named Jenna. i feel really bad now and i dont know what to do! please help!

girlzrock44 on 10/3/2008 9:47:51 PM

Popular girls can be nice too. I'm friends with popular people. They really friendly and they not really talk bad stuff behind girl's back. Last year, I been friends with those girl who not popular that kinda depress and rude to me all the time. I don't want to hang out with them. I just want to be happy and not involed in drama.

travlingsoccer on 10/3/2008 10:25:54 PM

musiclvr11p is right . Being friends with the popular people isnt that fun. I just tried it and I dont what to say or how to act. I still want to be their friend, I just really dont wanna sit at their table anymore because someone I dont Know started sending me these really nasty, mean texts sayin I took up too much space at their table and stuff like that.

8thgrader987 on 10/3/2008 10:49:35 PM

If they don't talk to you or their not nice then maybe their not the people you should hang out with.

doglover020 on 10/3/2008 11:18:05 PM

in high school there is no popular....we're just people....

mairyfairy25 on 10/3/2008 11:44:19 PM

********MOD******* I am in a class of 21 kids--10 boys, 11 girls. There is this one girl who is the "outcast" she is extremely shy, except when she is around me and 3 or 4 of my other friends, when she is really talkative. People make fun of her, like the "it" girls cheer excessively like they are goofing around in gym if she is just running. It gets me upset. This one guy actually teased her when she was gone, and everyone laughed. When I stood up for her, some of them started laughing. Now, this year, she really sticks around me, like if we are playing soccer at recess and she isn't playing, she will stand next to me and not leave my side. I always treat her like a good friend, because she is, but sometimes, I want my space. I don't know how to tell her because I feel like I am her only really good friend. Although, we are complete opposites, I am creative and love the "arts" and are great friends with the boys and have crushes, she doesn't. So, sometimes, it can be hard to talk to her about stuff. What should I do? She sticks to me basically, ALWAYS! We will be going seperate directions next year for high school, but this year, I need to hang out more with my other friends. What should I do?? thanks!!




Wow, tough one. The best thing you can do is encourage her to join clubs and teams that reflect her interests in hopes of helping her broaden her circle to include people more like her. Bottom line is that it is not your responsibility to be her whole world. Be a good friend but be good to yourself, too and keep expanding your world. 

aNNie51695 on 10/4/2008 9:43:56 AM

girlzrock44-
don't ya hate when they have a girlfriend? i do too! but the hardest- and only- thing to do is move on. also, don't be nagative towards Jenna, it just makes you feel worse. Smile
good luck, you can get through it!

xoxo

holapeeps on 10/4/2008 10:30:32 AM

There not really popular there just mean

brunettee on 10/4/2008 2:37:44 PM

Mod***mod***mod*** (and girls i need guy help)
Omg my nus broke down a few days ago (i wasn't goin on the bus that day my mo mwas pickin me up ) and my crushes mom is friends with my mom so since the bus broke down him and this other boy that mi mom is friends with him mom rode in the car with us. The one kid that i hate lets call him max well max was rly mean so i was tellin him to stop in the car and mi crush lets call him danny told him to stop and stick up for me. We were passin the highschool across the street and they had cheerleadin tryouts and i was talkin to mi sis but i was kinda listining to what danny was talkin about wit max and danny said cheereaders have the perfect bodies but they dont have big boobs. He looked like he wanted me to hear so when he caught me lookin at him i rolled my eyes and he smiled and like he was glad i heard.
My friend said that he might of been trying to impress me by making me jelouse that he liked other girls but he is in 8th grade and like the most popular guy and i highly doubt that he likes me i am a 7th grader and a geek so idk wat he means by this and when he does talk to me he always smiles and makes eye contact and i always blush i doont know what he means can someone help sry this is so long
xoxoxo

batonluvr13 on 10/4/2008 3:39:48 PM

If you are shy and wanna make new friends then just try to get over your fear and if that wont work then try also to eaisly find a shy friend

Glam Diva on 10/4/2008 6:55:54 PM

i sujest u don't make friends with the popular girls. they r mean and rude. chances r if they become ur friends they r using u. they think it is all about them and everyone loves them. i they think about is themself and don't care about u at all.

orchadork675 on 10/4/2008 8:21:25 PM

LOOK I THINK THAT ITS BEST TO NOT BE FRIENDS WITH THE POPULAR GIRLS BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN THE 5TH GRADE I TRIED TO GET INTO THE POPULAR GROUP IT WASN'T ALL WHAT I EXSPECTED THE POPULAR GIRLS LET MY FRIEND IN TO THE POPULAR GROUP BUT WOULDN'T LET ME IN THE POPULAR GROUP. THE GIRLS WHERE MEAN AND THEY ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT OTHER GIRLS AND THERE WAS ALWAYS DRAMA GOING ON. SO YEAH THATS WHAT I THINK. I LEARNED MY LESSON THE HARD WAY DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS MESmile MUCH LOVE VICTORIA334706

victoria334706 on 10/4/2008 11:08:13 PM

-Mod Mod Mod- Hi ^^ Anyway, um... at school the other day, me and my friend were rehearsing, when this other girl comes up and asks what we were doing. My friend told her we were just randomly dancing to this song we found on youtube, and then she looked at me and said, "She's one of the nerdy gifted kids. She doesn't know what youtube is." I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO insulted! And it wasn't like she was a 4 year old either; she was just a year younger the us, in 5th grade. Any ideas on how to get my message across that the gifted class isn't a group full of nerds? -.-

jadedstar01 on 10/5/2008 2:10:56 AM

!!!!HERE'S A REALLY GOOD QUOTE I GO BY EVERY DAY!!!!!!




"You cannot make someone love you, you can only make yourself someone who can be loved."
-Derek Gamba

this quote is soooo true, please think about it (it took me a while) but tell me what you think

spunkysoup on 10/5/2008 10:06:07 AM

Hey musiclvr11p, you're right. My BFF's friend is SO fake! I swear I think she might be made out of plastic! I'm ashamed to admit it but I have started to leach on to her ways and I now wish I hadn't!

greenhippos37 on 10/5/2008 10:20:59 AM

I know it's really tempting to try to be popular, but in my opinion, you'll be better off just making true friends. In like 4th and 5th grade, I was obsessed with being popular. I literally became a tagalong, always sitting with the popular people and inviting them places... stuff like that. I must have been pretty annoying, and finally they started being rude and mean. So I realized it was better to just hang with people who really cared for me. It took me a while, but now I'm really happy with the friends I have. Now, those same popular girls are starting to turn into people who never hang out with anyone else except for the boys, and they're like isolated from all the other girls. It's really pathetic.

ShopperSoccerGurl on 10/5/2008 1:39:06 PM

iluvcandy --
DARES:
Prank call a crush, e-mail a crush something really random, ding-dong-ditch one of your neighbors, dress up in your wackiest outfit, take a picture and send it to your crush, TP someone's house... you get the idea.
TRUTHS:
Who do you like? How many boys have you kissed? What is the most embarassing thing you've ever done in front of your crush? You can take questions like these and build them up into a long, juicy conversation! And also, if a girl isn't telling you who your crush is, you can always dare her to tell you as a dare! Smile

ShopperSoccerGurl on 10/5/2008 1:42:13 PM

i just think that they think they are really cool they might be cool and they might have the right clothes but YOU have the better personality !

olivia2babeh on 10/5/2008 1:44:25 PM

why does everybody say the popular girls are mean?? i know some are but not everybody is. im popualar at my school and my friends are not mean. anyways if u want to make friends with them dont be to clingy and state your opinion cuz if all u do is listen u wont be invited anywhere and will just seem like a tag along

kris2014 on 10/5/2008 5:00:35 PM

Hey spunkysoup, that's a really great quote! It took me a minute to figure it out 2, but once u get it, it really touches your heart! this isn't really heartfelt, but it's funny!

"Forget about love! I'd rather fall into chocolate!"

greenhippos37 on 10/5/2008 5:47:17 PM

Hey spunkysoup, that's a really great quote! It took me a minute to figure it out 2, but once u get it, it really touches your heart! this isn't really heartfelt, but it's funny!

"Forget about love! I'd rather fall into chocolate!"

greenhippos37 on 10/5/2008 5:47:48 PM

Being populars really not fun. Just be who you are and people will like you. If you pretend your something your not people will realize that thats not really you and they won't like you.

Remember to just relax and let down your gaurd and you'll act just how your personality is. :]

8912 on 10/5/2008 8:24:07 PM

MOD-
ok at my lunch table we would sit at the same spots every day but then one of my friends would start sitting in someone else's spots and we'd have to move all around her so another girl asked her to stop changing her seat. so they got in a big fight and my mom found out and now she hates the girl that asked her not to move. she doesn't want me to be friends with her and get a bad reputation. but this girl is a really good friend of mine and i don't know what to do. my mom already isn't letting me hang out with her no matter how much i ask! how can i convince my mom its ok if im still friends with her?

 

Hey babes, why do you need to sit in the exact same seats? As long as everyone has a seat it shouldnt matter. I agree with your mom's thought process, nobody should have asked her to stop moving in the first place/ Try talking to your mom about it. Tell her that it was wrong for your friend to say anything but that its all in the past and youve moved on. xo JANA

moglesby on 10/5/2008 9:19:48 PM

MOD
my family and i are doing just as bad as those stars in the fight club my mom and i are practically always fighting about junk and my sister is especially moody they say i dont spend enough time at home but why would i want to spend time with people who i feel hate me the only person i almost never butt heads with is my dad and he owns a restaurant and works a ton plus he feels the same way that the ladies in my family are short tempered and moody i want to reconnect with my family! help!!!!!!

 

Hey babes, call a family meeting. Have everyone sit down and calmly talk about issues. Make sure you have some sort of object that is a designated speaking object, you can only speak when you hold it. This way people dont start yelling to be heard. xo JANA

have_a_heart on 10/5/2008 9:20:50 PM

you guys are all talking about how popular ppl r sooooo mean because they always talk about ppl behind their backs and call ppl names. well think about wat ur doing right now. your talking about THEM behind THEIR backs and calling THEM names. i think you guys have it all mixed up. maby you should get to know them b4 assuming that their mean and beleving all those stereotypes.

ads04 on 10/5/2008 9:34:31 PM

No one is popular were all human!some people might have more friends then another person but it doesnt matter. at my school all the people who ppl consider popular are mean and gross

brunettee on 10/6/2008 5:25:32 PM

Ladies, I'll give you my opinion on this topic.
There are two types of popular.

Bad popular-These girls are mean and thier whole life is just drama. They are those "beautiful" girls, who may have only a couple sidekicks as friends. But really everyone hates them because they most likely have found a way to put you down before only to make themselves feel better about themselves. And the jocky, stupid, ignorant guys alwase seem to fall for them.

Good popular-These girls seem completly opposite from the bad popular. They really are nice girls and people just love to be around them. Everyone can be this popular, it's not some magic gift they recieve. All you have to do is be nice, trustworthy, drama-free, and just basically a good friend to EVERYONE. Then in return you will find many people that will hang with you because of how wonderful you are.

But in conclusion, just be yourself. It is a waste of time trying to be someone your not. Like stated before, know one will care if you were popular or not in middle/high school. I think all that is really necessary is to have at least one really good friend that will alwase have your back. I started middle school this year (7th grade) and at first I went through a short faze when I was focoused on being populare. But now i'm just myself. Think about it-why would you want to be friends with someone that doesnt like you for who you really are?

tennislove on 10/6/2008 5:52:33 PM

i guess you would say i am friends with the popular girls , but honestly they are the nicest people on the earth , they arent really popular because they are drop dead gorgeous , or have lots of money they are because they are nice and everyone likes them . i was friends with them in elementry school too . sure we have some ups and downs but honestly i wouldnt trade it for anything , i am just happy as it is right now we are finally together again .

warmwhispers on 10/6/2008 6:22:26 PM

I love that I commented on how I didn't believe this was actually helpful advice and my comment didn't get posted. I mean does Freedom of Speech not exist anymore? I didn't even say anything mean in my comment.

xxmuffinsxx on 10/7/2008 7:11:38 PM

MOD and girls
my moms bday is soon, so do you you have any inexpensive ideas for gifts?? thanks so much

 

Hey babes, we are making our mom and dad cds of all of the songs that remind us of them. xo JANA

hockeybaby55 on 10/7/2008 8:11:12 PM

**MOD**
Okay, so there's this guy in my youth group,and he asked me out about a month ago. I told him I liked him, but that I can't go out with him yet, because I'm only 14, and he was really sweet about it and said that was okay, but he really liked me so would I mind if we held hands sometimes and got to know each other really well. So we were pretty much bf and gf only without the "title". Mom and Dad both knew what our relationship was like so it was no secret from them. He told me he loved me after 3 weeks of that.
Around 2 weeks after that, he asked my BFF out. His best friend (we'll call him Tony) told me the only reason he asked her out was so he could go on a date. Now they've been "going out" for around 2 weeks. Sam talks with me all the time and flirts still. . .and says absolutely NOTHING to my BFF. she totally is crushing on him!!
WHAT DO I DO??

 

hey babes, woah woah woah. First of all, what kind of BFF is that? You need to have a chat with her about how she basically stole him from you. Then I would have a seriously talk with Sam and let him know that his behavior is awesome. If he wants to have a gf and doesnt want to wait for you, thats his decision, but you cant have your cake and eat it too. xo JANA









RodeoQueen on 10/8/2008 4:25:46 PM

i'm friends w/ some of the popular girls, not all of them! a lot of them are a little snobby and stuck up! But i do sit @ a popular table. Last year, i was like, there's no way they would like me because i have acne, or because i didn't have the right clothes... this year i'm like,you know what?!if they don't like me 4 who i am, it's their problem, not mine! But i ended up having some popular people in my classes and voila! i was instantly friends w/ them! u nvr know until u try! Smile

neatfrk101 on 10/8/2008 7:01:09 PM

MOD and girls:
My friend always trys to invite herself to my house. I know she want to come over and I want her to but it is getting really annying. At first I thought she was kidding. Today she said "Invite me to your house this weekend. Saturdays best for me. Actually I will let you decide what day this weekend". She does that a lot. My mom doesn't alway want someone over. My mom said no but she keeps asking. Last week she wanted to come and play badminton. I am usually busy on weekends. I am tired of her trying to tell me when to invite her. What should I do?

 

Hey babes, just speak up and let her know that youre busy and it makes you feel weird when she puts you on the spot like that. Reassure her that you love her as a friend but you are uncomfortable when she invites herself over all of the time. xo JANA

Lizzy16 on 10/8/2008 7:06:19 PM

does anyone at all have school tomarrow?? I have the day off and so do my older brothers (18 and 16) but we go to private school and im not really sure if public school is different. And everytime i say something about my school to my public school friends they all glare at me and start a different convo! ITS SO NOT LIKE IM DISSING THEIR SCHOOL NOW IS IT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH PUBLIC SCHOOL AND I NEVER SAID THERE WAS AND IT REALLY TICKS ME OFF WHEN GIRLS ARE SNOTTY AND RUDE! like this one girl we had an asembly about the less fortunate and she goes we dont have any poor kids here DUH its a christian PRIVATE school. And i got really ticked and told her to shut her mouth! If you go to public school and someone from a private school disses you I AM SOSOSOOOOOO sorry! Please just remeber we are not all like that! AND OMIGOD im totally babbleing i am so sorry again! I appoligize like crazy and if you acctually read this you are a truly GREAT person!!
*poke* ok you have now been poked no poke someone else whos truly great ok sorry ill shut my face now

dancergirl2232 on 10/9/2008 8:23:41 PM



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