Jana K.

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GIRL TALK: Everyone Else Does

Most of my friends cuss now just because everybody else does, and I think it's really stupid. They just do that to be cool, and I know that. I don't see the point in cussing, especially at our age! Also it makes me really mad when they cuss but I don't know why. I know I can't just not be their friends because they do that, but what should I do?

-Anne

Hey, sweets. So your friends have been runnin' their potty mouths around ya, huh? Maybe some friends do it to be cool and maybe some do it just because they are around it a lot. I know it can be really annoying to hear, especially if you are not into that kinda language! So..what to do?

It def wouldn't be a good idea to end your friendships with these peeps just because they cuss. Friendships are based on much more than that. But if it really bothers ya, you gotta put your foot down!

Tell your friends that it really bothers you when they cuss. Because it is their personal choice whether they do it or not, you can't really tell them what to do. But as your friend, they should respect that you are uncomfortable when they do this. Ask them politely to hold off on the cussing if they can when they are around you! Totally fair, right?

So instead of being super angry or defensive about this whole cussing business, just ask them not to do it around ya. In the end, it is their choice to cuss, not yours. Talk it out and things will def get better!

<3, Sharon

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BY ANDREA T. ON 9/24/2008 11:24:00 AM 85 COMMENTS

85 READER COMMENTS

That's exactly how I am...I absolutely HATE swearing

sparksgal on 9/24/2008 3:06:14 PM

wow my one friend is just like that...
and btw that is a freaky picture! lol

holapeeps on 9/24/2008 3:50:44 PM

~MOD MOD MOD MOD~
Dear MOD,
Please help!! i really want a bf. i like this guy who really likes me and i want us to be "more than friends". but the problem is that my dad will NOT have anything to do with it! what do i do? and why are dads always overprotective?
thanks..
emily

emily96 on 9/24/2008 4:00:25 PM

first comment?anyway, some of my friends cuss around me and when they do I just say 'language' and they try not to cuss as much.I also have a few friends who don't like cussing either so it isn't too horrible.

Polka Dot Lover on 9/24/2008 4:13:51 PM

i do it because i'm around it a lot. it just sorta sunk into my vocabulary. i don't like it, but...

shopper_babe on 9/24/2008 4:25:29 PM

I know that's like so annoying when ppl my age (12) cuss just to be cool. I cuss but I don't do it to be cool but when i get really mad I'll just say it under my breath. ppl think there being cool when they cuss but really they're just being really lame!

prettybeachgirl on 9/24/2008 4:26:19 PM

yeah a lot of ppl I know do that and it doenst even make sence how they use it

brunettee on 9/24/2008 4:30:35 PM

i lot of ppl @ my school swear just throwing it out there. my friends even swear. once i said watch ur lang. and they threw out a string of swear words to be "funny" so anoying

xoxohorsechicnpink on 9/24/2008 4:43:58 PM

Most of my friends cuss [some a lot, and some, only occasionaly] but they all do it at least once in a while. I hate it! Whenever somebody says an inappropriate word, i always say "Let's not say that word." Most people don't cuss around me that much, because they know I hate it, but people still say it. I hate it how they cuss just to be cool, and 95% of the sentences they use can go without a swear word it.

musiclvr11p on 9/24/2008 4:45:30 PM

I'm a Christian, and I believe that it's wrong.

Tess Nicole on 9/24/2008 5:10:32 PM

it doesnt bother me cuz i hang around a lot of older kids so theres basically a swear word in every sentence so i d really c (i dont really care) so yah

megabegabyte on 9/24/2008 5:14:25 PM

mostly everyone at my school cusses. but i don't, i see no point to it. it makes people look stupid :/

baseballchicky16 on 9/24/2008 5:54:34 PM

i swear all the time

mychemicalromance1995 on 9/24/2008 6:07:18 PM

**** MODERATOR **** I known this boy in my school likes me and I don't want to be near him anymore and we were like best friends. Also we're in the fifth grade but we're both eleven are we to young to actually say we are dating. But he always likes to be around me and stuff.

Hey babes, it sounds like you and him arent on the samepage. Do you like him or no? I think 11 is a little too youngt o be dating, but i dont think that there is anything wrong with having a best guy friend. xo JANA

miaria10 on 9/24/2008 6:08:54 PM

omg. i know how ANNOYING that it!!! and you are so right. they only do it cuz they think theyre "cool" so if a person is just like saying "*&^%$#@!#@#$%^#%^*#%^!#$%@#$^@$%&" in ways that like dont even make sense (like they just cuss to cuss), ill go up to their face and be like "wow, you really think youre cool, dont you?"

and there like "uuuhhh...no?"

CUZ THEY KNOW IM RIGHT AND I TOTALLY BURNED THEM!

they dont really cuss that much after i say that to them, so try that...

nick_jonas_is_so_mine on 9/24/2008 6:14:26 PM

Trivial issue i curse if something bad happens or if something scares startles me

have_a_heart on 9/24/2008 6:15:40 PM

everyone my age cusses, and i'm 11.
but i don't mind.
there just words, i don't see why it's so bad.

samantha4267 on 9/24/2008 6:19:52 PM

I have the same problem... sometimes. Not bad though. BTW, that IS a creepy picture.

girscouts2664 on 9/24/2008 6:59:22 PM

I don't like cussing just cuz it sounds so trashy and the only bad word ive ever said is h-e double hockey sticks(church wise so its not bad then, well it is but not as a word) and H* i wasnt calling anyone that tho. There are a lot of people who think I am a goody two shoes or a perfect person, which i am far from, and they tease me. Some people call me an oreo, Im african american, because I am not "ghetto" which i think is WAY too sterieotypical and today like 4 people were sitting around me and were basically taunting me. I really felt like I was going to cry while I was sitting there, and they would say they were just kidding and stuff and I told them to stop and I told one person to shut up because he kept calling me a white a** h* dont forget im african american. It stil bothers me A LOT and I don't know what to do. I am also scared that I will start cussing because I am like one of the only people in my grade who doesn't cuss like them like its part of their regular dictionary. I think its really sad because I go to a CATHOLIC private school and the F word is one of the usual words I hear. Plus you can tell when people are just cussing to be cool when it doesnt exactly fit or they look at you after they say it. I think everyone has a right to tell those people to shut up if we don't want them cussing around us. Some people might think they are just words but when I hear it i hear, f you and shes a wh*** & stuff like that. I don't think this stuff is inappropraite as long as you are responsible and mature about it and not repeat all of the words you hear which is very very very good if you are able to be strong and not follow the crowd because following the crowd is not always the right thing to do.Thanks for listening!

M1sspink135 on 9/24/2008 7:10:44 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD how do you send in questions to get advice on the blogs? and when you do, can GL tell hu sent it? will they automatically post ur name, or can it be annonymous? thanx!

Hey babes, its can be anonymous, you can send it to GL. xo JANA

rubberduckyxo on 9/24/2008 7:37:55 PM

everybody at my school cuss (11-16 years old) they cuss like crazy and i do sometimes but i got to be REALLY mad to cuss but thats a few times everyday

prepgurl13 on 9/24/2008 7:39:14 PM

Ah, my friends had a cussing spree a couple years ago. They calmed down now, but I'm so totally used to it! Like almost everyone I know says a swear word now and then. I have to admit, I do too! It's just words in my vocabulary. Of course I don't say the really bad word (I think we all know what that is) but other words do occasionally slip out! I'm in high school so cussing is so normal to hear. My teacher evens swears! Ya, I know people say it's wrong if you are a Christian and I'm Catholic, but I don't think the religion thing matters when it comes down to it. Of course nevvvver swear in a Holy place! That's so disrespectful! But hey, we all swear and say bad words now and then and I'm fine with that! If it bothers you though if someone continually swears, you should mention to them to take it down a notch. but don't end your friendships over it!! *~*Lolli*^~**

*~*Shattered_Lollipop*^~** on 9/24/2008 7:44:34 PM

i only swear under my breath and if it's an extremely bad situation. my friends don't mind, and if they do, they say something. just talk to them about it. and if they don't stop, just for fair game, say something like "well, if you swear, i won't be listening to you." or along those lines. don't end a friendship over someone's bad language

_savvygirl_15 on 9/24/2008 7:56:05 PM

why does everyone think that people cuss just to look cool? i cuss sometimes, but im not trying to be popular or anything. when polite words arent enough, sometimes you just have to cuss. thats how i feel anyway. most of my friends dont really care, but i have one who doesnt like to hear me cuss. she told me, and thats fine. now im just more concious about my word choices in front of her. and why do people think hell is a bad word? i mean, its a place. AND my teachers in 6th and 7th grade said it all the time.

xeoa on 9/24/2008 8:00:27 PM

MOD, where do i go to submit my story to the blush mush section?

Hey babes, send it to embarrassingmoments@girlslife.com xo JANA

luv2brianna on 9/24/2008 8:11:35 PM

********************MODERATOR*********************** i've been REALLLLLY upset lately, and i have noooo idea why. the last two times is because of my crush who im like madly in love with and i really want to go out with him. this time, i dont know why, i feel like if he asked me out this second i would still be depressed. i dont know whats wrong with me and i dont know what to do because i dont always want to be like this. what do i do?!?! pleaseee helpppp

Hey babes, guys dont cure sadness. There is a good chance that even if you start dating him, you wont be happy. Deal with yourself before adding someone into the mix. xo JANA

sweetiehearts1212 on 9/24/2008 8:40:54 PM

I know!! cussing is so stupid! whats the point?! to get attention? theres really no reason to...

nickjonasluv1248 on 9/24/2008 8:53:39 PM

ik! alot of my friends cusss like all the time. so im pretty used to it and dont mind i dont cuss

but check out my profile!*!*!*!*!*

<3_minnie_mouse on 9/24/2008 9:00:53 PM

i'm the same way!! i HATE cursing!!! ewww!!!

j3girl on 9/24/2008 9:32:52 PM

but also i know ALOT of people who curse so i have gotten used to it but i hate it though and I don't do it

j3girl on 9/24/2008 9:33:59 PM

Hey exoa!
I luv ur picture, it's so cool! ^^

SportyGal on 9/24/2008 9:39:35 PM

Hey ***MOD***
This is my story and I was just wondering iif you could give me any advice over and help me so Im not sad and stuff. Thanks.

There are a lot of people who think I am a goody two shoes or a perfect person, which i am far from, and they tease me. Some people call me an oreo, Im african american, because I am not "ghetto" which i think is WAY too sterieotypical and today like 4 people were sitting around me and were basically taunting me. I really felt like I was going to cry while I was sitting there, and they would say they were just kidding and stuff and I told them to stop and I told one person to shut up. It stil bothers me A LOT and I don't know what to do. I am also scared that I will start cussing because I am like one of the only people in my grade who doesn't cuss like them like its part of their regular dictionary. I think its really sad because I go to a private school and the F word is one of the usual words I hear. Plus you can tell when people are just cussing to be cool when it doesnt exactly fit or they look at you after they say it. I think everyone has a right to tell those people to shut up if we don't want tem cussing around us. Some people might think they are just words but when I hear it. I don't think this stuff is inappropraite as long as you are responsible and mature about it and not repeat all of the words you hear which is very very very good if you are able to be strong and not follow the crowd because following the crowd is not always the right thing to do.

Hey girl, way to be strong and not swear. However, you can't control people and stop them from swearing, so you're just going to have to get used to it and learn to ignore it. I am truly sorry about people teasing you though. What they're doing and saying is not ok. Keep on telling them to shut up and just talk back so that they learn to shut up and respect you. And don't let their words get to you. Good luck! -lauren

M1sspink135 on 9/24/2008 9:45:47 PM

what are some things that I can talk to my crush about that are interesting/funny.
also My locker is almost next to his. my best friends locker is RITE next to his and suddenly she likes him too which kinda sux

couturedoll on 9/24/2008 9:57:06 PM

i kno!! i go to an option school but i have to go on a bus w/ highschoolers on the way home. they cuss and swear sooooooooo much! its like hey so-and-so blah blah @$#%&*%$#% blah blah @#$%$#@#$%$#... etc. it is sooo annoying! (also they sorta scare me!)

rox_my_sox on 9/24/2008 9:58:21 PM

OMG my friends are starting to swear and i HATE it sooooo much i wish they would stop they r driving me crazy and peer pressure has gotten me to mumble a few swear words if any1 can help me just reply to my comment say my name tho its Mary Kayte

Chickalove52584 on 9/24/2008 10:03:36 PM

couturedoll on 9/24/2008 10:18:35 PM

couturedoll on 9/24/2008 10:33:39 PM

couturedoll on 9/24/2008 10:45:05 PM

i don't cus, but im not against it. if other people do, than thats their business not mine. it doesn't frighten or bother me because it is just words.

fashionista8613 on 9/24/2008 11:00:44 PM

Sometimes I curse when I'm really annoyed or scared or whatnot, but I try not to say the really bad words. One of my friends swears all the time -- it used to bother me, but I've gotten used to it. I'm 12, and I think that's a little too young to be cursing all the time, but I don't freak out when someone or me curses occasionally. It's just when it's every other word that comes out of someone's mouth when it starts to get annoying.

ShopperSoccerGurl on 9/24/2008 11:50:02 PM

****MOD PLEASE!!****
Hey, I have this friend (M) who's really nice, but also really annoying. In choir class, they separate the sopranos and the altos, and most of my friends are altos. I'm a soprano, and so is M, so we have to sit together. Well my choir class is really disruptive and annoying, and she's part of that. She ALWAYS talks when we're supposed to be singing so I don't know what to do! Please help. Thanks!

Hey Girl,

I would just ignore her and don't participate in her conversations. Tell her nicely " We are supposed to be singing, could you please stop talking and pay attention." Good Luck!

-Kyle

stagebabe401 on 9/25/2008 7:09:54 AM

mod or girls i need help.i have these three friends, E, C, and K. We all used to be best friends. but recently C and K just went on one side, saying bad stuff about E and basically about anyone that walks past them. And i want to be friends with all of them, but then C and K (mostly K) get mad at me if i hang out with E, which i do a lot, cuz we do a lot of stuff together. E wants me to go with C and K and find out what they're saying about her. Is that the wrong thing to do? cuz she deserves a right to know what they say.
plus K and C completely changed over summer. Now they're all emo and stuff, and i know they're the same ppl, but its different, and i miss the old them.
plus plus i found out yesterday that E likes the same guy i do, and he probably likes her more, cuz she actually talks to guys, while i say two words to him a day in science
plus plus plus i hurt my ankle yesterday at soccer, its kinda sprained i think, i have it wrapped, do u think its ok if i play soccer on sat? sorry so long, but these are only some of my probs, but ill wrte the rest later.

Hey Girl,

Ok well you can be friends with all of them no one can tell you who your friends should be. As far as sharing information, that is a no no. Stay neutral you don't want to be caught in the middle. As people grow up they change. Don't try to make things like they were in the past because it will never be the same. It is not a big deal if you like the same guy as someone else, and don't sell yourself short. Yes you can play on your ankle get it taped or get a brace for extra support. Ice it 20 min on 20 off and take an anti-inflammatory. If it really hurts than stop, but you should be fine. Good Luck!

-Kyle

luv2recycle on 9/25/2008 9:41:07 AM

i totally understand...my friends are sooooo annoying when they do that

sparky4me on 9/25/2008 1:08:17 PM

My one friend even does it around my mom!!! it's so embarrassing! if she keeps doing it we won't be able to hang out anymore

sparky4me on 9/26/2008 8:25:10 AM

thanks so much kyle!!!

luv2recycle on 9/26/2008 9:24:25 AM

ugh i absolutely HATE swearing, cussing whatever you call it. one, it is insulting, and two it is so unclassy. and everyone should have class!

bookworm14 on 9/26/2008 4:59:50 PM

I didn't mean to post that last comment (oops) anyway,

Why do so many girls think cussing is okay, and that it's just words. It's vulgar and cruel and makes you look really trashy.

Banapple7 on 9/26/2008 5:49:02 PM

last post, possibly.

BTW being afraid and being mad is not an excuse to cuss. There are other things you can do.

Banapple7 on 9/26/2008 5:50:15 PM

I know! That is exactly how i feel! Like instead of cussing when you are mad you could write everything down in a diary or punch your pillow!

gloria626 on 9/26/2008 6:52:27 PM

That would be so annoying!!!!I'd understand that you only curse if you were angry(that the only reason I curse)but regurally? Thats ridiculous!!Some people at my school curse because they think its cool,and some act as if its regural word! Its can get really annoying...serious!

perfect pink rice 2 on 9/26/2008 10:13:59 PM

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