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GIRL TALK: Forget Me Not


 
My grandmother has Alzheimer's disease and can’t remember stuff like how many kids she has and what she said a couple of seconds before. It's been really hard on my whole family and mostly my mom. I think about it ever night and its really weird being around her. Talking to my mom is out of the question.

-Anonymous




I am so sorry about your grandmother. My great grandfather was afflicted with Alzheimer’s and it was VERY difficult to see the disease take over him.  What got me through it was realizing that for my grandfather, he didn’t know anything else. He was convinced that it was 1950’s, he forgot that his wife died of lung cancer and his sister passed away shortly after. In a way it was a blessing. Its never easy to see our loved ones slowly lose their sense of reality and of course your mom is going to take it hard. We never think that our parents are capable of becoming frail, we assume that they will take care of us for forever when in fact, towards the end WE will be taking care of THEM. That’s just the way life goes. Take comfort in the fact that your grandmother has lived a long and productive life. She raised a family and was around to see her grandchildren born. That is a miraculous feat in itself.  To make things easier for yourself, maybe it would help to get the details of the disease so you know for sure what is happening. It might also help if you made some sort of scrap book with pictures of your grandmother and your family, then you can go through it and explain to her who everyone is.
 
XO,
JANA

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!
 
 

BY ANDREA T. ON 9/23/2008 6:07:00 PM 35 COMMENTS

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35 READER COMMENTS

i've heard of that disease. it seems so scary Frown

baseballchicky16 on 9/23/2008 6:32:04 PM

my grandma has that too and its really sad!! my mom goes to see her pretty much once or twice a month. they live on the other side of the country. its really sad to see my mom crying about her.

bananalvr1234 on 9/23/2008 6:33:31 PM

My great- grandma forgets things a lot... she doesn't have Alzheimers, she's just old. 94! She has to o through every single name in the family until she gets to mine.

girscouts2664 on 9/23/2008 6:41:36 PM

Hey, I am so sorry that you are going through that. My great grandma and grampa both dealt with that so i know a little about how you are feeling. The best thing i can tell you is that it will get better. Trust me- it won't always feel like it, but you just have to give your mom time before she is able to talk about it. If it is really upsetting for you and your mom is still unable to talk about it, I would seriously consider going to a counselor or talking to another family member or firend about it. I know it helped me out a lot to talk about things like that. I hope it gets better and you have a happier time of things!!

pacotaco1 on 9/23/2008 6:51:17 PM

aww im so sorry. my grandma had alzheimers too, and it was so hard for my family, especially my dad. for example, she'd ask me how school was, and i'd answer her. then a few minutes later, she'd ask me again. it was definately hard, but it does help to remember what a long and productive life she lived. trust me, it helped me

archuletafanxo1713 on 9/23/2008 6:59:24 PM

My gradpa passed away a few yrs. ago from it I barly remember him at home. He lived in a care home and came home on holidays. It got bad but I am ok with it it someing that grows on you. You probaly don't understand but you will have memoreis I know so much about and I always can tell people about what is going on. You will be able to help peole in the future imbrace it.

volleygal on 9/23/2008 7:07:31 PM

MOD MOD MOD Tomararow is 80s day for spirit week. Any good ideas for how girls dressed in the 80s? THX!!!

 

Hey babes, you need a bunch of bangle bracelets, a sweat band for your head, scrunch socks, spandex capris leggings and a big t shirt. xo JANA

cross_country_luver on 9/23/2008 7:09:16 PM

I use to joke about this with my mom. I said it's something old people get, but now I know how serious it is...I thought it was just forgetfulness.

MunkQoo on 9/23/2008 7:34:51 PM

aww. my bff rachel's grandpa has alzheimers.

~iheartcharlie~ on 9/23/2008 7:37:29 PM

MOD i feel really sad. my best friend who is a ice skater like me, graduated high school last spring and left on saturday to do an ice skating show all through out europe. i miss her so much. i tried to email her but it was sent back, i cant call her because it would cost a fortune, she is never on im, and my parents say i cant get a facebook and she is gone for six months. she helps me through really hard times and i am lost now that she is gone. what can i do? thanks. sorry that this is soo long Smile

 

Hey babes,if you get a calling card it isnt expensive.Stock up on those. xo JANA

icepanda23 on 9/23/2008 7:56:10 PM

The best thing for you to do is to make sure your Grandmother is happy. Even if she forgets things, listen to what she says and share your daily stories.

fluteplaya101 on 9/23/2008 8:07:21 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!! My friend...lets call him Jason. is two years older than me we talk about everthing and he is my best friend. He has a girlfriend and I have always kinda liked him...I was never going to tell him becauz 1. I value our friendship 2. He is older than me 3. He is my sisters friend (she doesn't like him) So last night we were texting and he was being secrative so i kept telling him to tell me and the next day when i saw him on the bus (we go to diffrent skools in in middle hes in high) i made him tell me he said he was confussed because he liked me he asked me as he said out of curiosity how i felt about him what should I say?????? and if he ever did ask me out should I say yes and risk our friendship or no. Also im not sure im comfortable "going out" with a frshman.

 

Hey babes, ultimately if youre uncomfortable with dating then dont date. But if he came clean to you, I think you need to come clean to him. xo JANA

Lettuce on 9/23/2008 8:10:05 PM

I'm so so so so so sorry. i lost my gradfather to that last month. It's very hard I know. Be thankful that at least she's not in pain, thats what my grandfather said when he was diagnosed.

xoxo
Dancin Devil

Dancing_Devil on 9/23/2008 8:16:30 PM

omgg that stinks! my aunt has that but we were never close. take Jana's advice!

heyyyyyyy on 9/23/2008 8:21:08 PM

a friend of mine, her grandma has it so she has to live at my friend's house now. my friend's parents finished their basement so she could have her bedroom down there so her grandma could have her old room. and since my friend's parents r working, in the summer especially, she has to help her a lot.
i feel so bad for her. she has to give up a lot of her time.

lilgingerhhs193 on 9/23/2008 8:44:12 PM

Hey, don't feel scared or anything, but i just lost my grandfather on september 21st, and he had alzheimers disease. so make every moment you spend with your grandmother count, and just be prepared for anything to happen. I know its hard, but just try your best to be patient with her because it isn't her fault that she is loosing her memory.

smiling_kt_bug on 9/23/2008 9:06:26 PM

i thinks that's so sad, i really hope that doesn't happen to anyone else in your family

Kagura on 9/23/2008 9:09:37 PM

i have a question. are you supposed to shave "down there" hair? Im serious i have NO idea

bubbleybop3434 on 9/23/2008 9:13:32 PM

My mom works in a nursing home, and she see's this kind of thing all the time. I go to her work and play the piano for all the old folks sometimes... and it's really weird because sometimes someone with that disease will be talking to me, telling me I did a wonderful job, and then walk away... but 10 mintues later they'll come back and say the same thing! Or, the same person might ask me what instrument I'm playing. It's just a fact of life. Be there for your grandma and like Jana suggested, I would make a scrapbook and show it to her from time to time.

Lexy5 on 9/23/2008 9:16:36 PM

********************MODERATOR***********************
i've been REALLLLLY upset lately, and i have noooo idea why. the last two times is because of my crush who im like madly in love with and i really want to go out with him. this time, i dont know why, i feel like if he asked me out this second i would still be depressed. i dont know whats wrong with me and i dont know what to do because i dont always want to be like this. what do i do?!?! pleaseee helpppp

sweetiehearts1212 on 9/23/2008 9:28:57 PM

weeell that SUCKS. I have no idea what I woul dod if that happened to any of my family!

frankensteingirl on 9/23/2008 10:21:34 PM

Hey,

My grandma got Alzheimers in her 60's. She was diagnosed when i was younger than 1. Ever since we've been visiting the local nursing home which my grandma has been in for about 13 years. We visited her everyday to feed her dinner, because she couldn't feed herself, talk, or walk. She was bed ridden. My mother and my aunt would trade, My mom visit my grandma monday, my aunt tuesday, my mom wensday, e.c.t. They were the most caring, generous, and un-selfish people i know. The only reason my grandma lived so long was because of us visiting her. Even she couldn't talk to tell us this, I know she hung in there because she saw how much we cared about her and how much we loved her, and that brought her through the hard times. Just recently, we got a call that my grandmother has had a misfire in the brain, and past away. She was in perfect condition, or whatever condition was perfect at that time. This was a surprise, but a releif, because she didnt have to suffer in that way anymore. I miss my grandmother, but she lived longer than any other alzheimers patient i know, because of the love and support of her family. Maybe the only grandma i knew was the one in the nursing home bed, not being able to have a conversation with me, but i knew how strong my grandma was, and her love for me. I was her little grand-baby, and i love her.

So visit your local nursing home. I know some people might say "I'm not going in to some old people home so I can tell them my name...then tell them again 5 minutes later because they forgot it." But you dont know how much it makes there day, and how much the love helps them.

anyway, i just wanted to share that with you, i hope ur inspired.



annamariedex on 9/24/2008 9:01:18 PM

that is so sad, i've seen it with my friends grandparents before. im sorry.

fashionista8613 on 9/24/2008 10:58:23 PM

MOD!!
im having the worst week of my life.
on monday, i broke up with my boyfriend. i broke up with him cause i was getting tired of him and i kinna liked his best friend, but i never had the intension to go out with him. i told my 2 bffs about me liking him and then i told him and he said he liked me too. so, i told my bffs that and he told his. well, someone had a big mouth and told the WHOLE school. my ex-bf hates me, my friends are mad, and i just need help fixing all this. I know some of my actions werent very smart, but just can you help?




Hey Girl,

By next week no one in school will remember.  I don't really understand why your friends hate you but I think you should just talk it out with them, everything will be ok.  Your XBF will get over it just give it time.  I don't think you want to be anything more than friends with you XBf's Bff for right now, just sit and chill for a while, hang with your friends.  Good Luck!




-Kyle 

lilybelle00 on 9/25/2008 6:56:15 AM

aww that's so sad i'm so sorry i hope everything gets better

sparky4me on 9/25/2008 1:05:03 PM

my grandma has alzheimer's too. she's had it for 10 yrs and can't really do much of anything. my grandpa has to feed her and bathe her. i know it's wierd being around them, but their still our grandmas...try to make ur grandma laugh, even if it means doin sumtin stupid. it makes the whole family feel better. stay strong, i know what it's like.

sportygal13 on 9/26/2008 8:02:54 PM

my great grandmother is going throught the same thing. She forgets a lot of stuff. I think my grandpa is taking this the hardest. After all that is his mother. I feel really bad for him because she dosent want to see him. She think that he is going to put her in a home. TY for listening
gorgously_green12

gorgeously_green12 on 9/26/2008 9:00:12 PM

----------------------MOD----------------------
there have been 3 tried abductions in my town one was even on the same street as my school last year. all 3 people got away one was a mom and then there were 2 13 year old girls. i'm really scared.

swimbabi94 on 9/27/2008 8:16:39 AM

*~_*~_*~_MOD!!*~_*~_*~_

and other gl girlies

ok i just found out that this guy likes me. the problem~ he's one of my best friend's ex-boyfriend... He sits by me in English and Reading and is really funny and sweet, but when my friend was dating him, she said that he mistreated her and whenever he was in a bad mood he would call her stupid and ugly! I KNOW she wouldn't lie to me but i've never seen him in a bad mood... i just need to know if he should just be considered a friend and i should let him down.....

please please PLEASE answer this!!!!

lipgloss0018 on 9/27/2008 12:31:05 PM

Hey, my grandma died of that. It was really hard because i never knew her. i was 4 when she died, and she had it so bad that by the time i was born she had no idea who i was. one day my older sisters asked her if she wanted to play go fish with them. she said yes but they had to teach her how to play. so they taught her, played a bit, then went home. the next day they asked her if she wanted to play go fish and she said she didn't know how. my sisters got upset because they had just taught her the day before. it's really sad. :*(

Half Blood Princess on 9/28/2008 5:35:46 PM

lipgloss~

i was also in a situation where i had to let down a guy i barley knew. in this sitch, i would trust your bestie and not go out with him. if he asks you out, tell him u don't go out with people u dont know well. DONT tell him ur parents wont let u date unless thats true, cuz then he might tell and no one (say, ur crush) will ask you out cuz they think u cant. trust me, u do NOT wanna go there.

Anyways, if he tries to hang out with u to "get 2 know" u, tell him ur busy. any excuse will do.

good luck!

Half Blood Princess on 9/28/2008 5:40:43 PM

my gramma has that disease. she thinks my mom is her sister and has no idea who me or my siblings are. the amazing thing is, she can read. she can read perfectly. so @ the nursing home we always bring her something to read. its a blessing, in a way, because my grandfather passed before her, so she will never have to grieve his death, and vice versa.

luv2shop112 on 10/9/2008 9:22:40 PM

lip gloss--
its probably a bad idea to go out w. a bffs ex-lover anyway!! forget this guy!!

luv2shop112 on 10/9/2008 9:24:00 PM

i feel for you!!! just remember that she is still your Gran and that you still love her, and a disease can't get in the way of that! Plus, Gran is prob. going through some soul-searching so mayb give her some space! kay? kay. and btw, dont worry. Smile u r a good granddaughter to be sooooo concerened! Smile
Yur Welcome,
princess_peach_98

princess_peach_98 on 10/12/2008 5:54:11 PM

my grandma had that it was really hard for me beacause i was young when sh first got it so ever since i can remeber she could never remeber me and then she finally died it was so hard on my family for two reasons 1 my family is VERY close and 2 becaus my grandpa died 20 days before her I fell so help less sometimes

heart333 on 12/4/2008 7:04:54 PM


    

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