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Summer Special

GIRL TALK: Sisterly Love

 

I have a big problem! My sister and I have been fighting a lot this summer. And it’s not like your regular fight. We slap, punch, kick and practically kill each other. We lose a lot of privileges because we fight. And once she said I should go crawl in a hole and die, and I was never sure if she actually meant it or not. I want to find out without starting something. Please help me with that and with ways to stay out of fighting.

-Hannah needs help!



There’s nothing like sisterly love, right?  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times my sister and I have fought over the years.  When we were younger, we definitely had our fair share of fights and it wasn’t pretty.  So what’s the good news?  Don’t worry, it gets better.

Try to think about why you’re fighting in the first place.  Did she borrow your favorite flip-flops without asking?  Did you read her diary? In the real world, this may not be a big deal. But in sister world, this is serious business.  If you can find out the reason for your fights, you may be able to stop them before they start.

Next time you feel the urge to hit your sister, stop, take a deep breath and count to 10.  Feel better?  If not, walk away.  Then, when you’re feeling a little better, try talking to your sister about what’s bothering you.  You could say, “Hey, I understand you like to borrow my clothes sometimes, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d respect my property and ask me first.  It would really mean a lot, thanks sis.” 

And trust me, your sister didn’t mean it when she said for you to crawl in a hole.  Every sister says something she doesn’t mean every now and then (believe me, I’ve done it, too!)  But you should totally let her know it hurts your feelings.  Maybe you girls can start a special Sister Day where you watch your favorite movies and eat your favorite foods. It may seem a little rough now, but the older you get, the closer you two will become.  And who knows, one day you may even be best friends!

Lots of love,
L’Oreal

BY ANDREA T. ON 8/7/2008 3:17:00 PM 99 COMMENTS

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99 READER COMMENTS

yeah, I have three younger sisters and there's not a day that goes by that at least one of us (usually the youngest) starts a fight with someone. Trust me, I've learned exactally where to hit, kick, or pinch to get them off my back (sometimes literaly), but your best bet is to tell your mom, before the violince starts.

Banapple7 on 8/7/2008 4:59:09 PM

Wow that is horrible I love being an only child.

Inky on 8/7/2008 5:01:59 PM

oh yeah! only child!

luv 4 chocolate on 8/7/2008 5:03:32 PM

I always fight with my little sister too. This is great advice! Thanks GL!

Crusher on 8/7/2008 5:11:10 PM

wow thats is really good advice cause my and my sis fight like that all the time.

valleygirl128 on 8/7/2008 5:13:50 PM

I fight with my sister alot and we get in alot of trouble too. I always just say lets not fight ok? Then we just not talk to eachother for the rest of the day. That's how we handle it!

Cutiepie445 on 8/7/2008 5:22:34 PM

Hey! I have the same problem with my sis 2, but l8y we've been getting along quite nicely!


P.S I have a problem I'm skipping the 8th grade to go to 9th and I really want to still be connected to my peers. I can't turn back (took summer school courses to skip) and I also know that I'm gonna make new friends.So should I stop focusing on my old pals and be more concerned in making new friends?

P.s.s- I don't want to seem like I'm turning my back on my friends!

Please help mods, or anyone who wants too. This has been drving me crazy!! Thanks :3 !!

orangeslice on 8/7/2008 5:23:02 PM

hey any1 wanna talk?
Sorry if this is anoying but I've always wanted to say
First comment?

Neonluv<3 on 8/7/2008 5:27:06 PM

me & sis don't fite n e more.

Neonluv<3 on 8/7/2008 5:27:52 PM

wow my sis and i fight alot but we never actually hit each other cuz neather of us believe violence is the right answer to anything.... (first comment?)

hello12345 on 8/7/2008 5:28:11 PM

this is like my younger bro and me. *sigh* we fight so much. it's not that i WANT to fight, it just happens cuz he's so much younger than i am.

_savvygirl_15 on 8/7/2008 5:32:55 PM

my bro and my fighting is way worse. luckily we dont fight as much. i wont even do the 1st comment cuz that annoys me

Kalie on 8/7/2008 5:33:21 PM

*****MOD****
My crush (I'll call him Brad) and I text eachother pretty much everyday. And today I finally got my schedule for school and at my school we have "teams" which u r put on one of four. Anyway Brad and I were texting I'll let you read part of it.
Me: I'm on 8-1
Brad: Oh that sucks
Me: Y?
Brad: Your not on my team
Me: U wanted me on ur team?
Brad: Ya

We don't have any classes or luch together, but all my friends think he likes me. What do you think? And what should I do if he does because if he asks me out I can't go since I'm not allowed to date for nother year?

*CrAzY*gUrLiE* on 8/7/2008 5:46:33 PM

wow. my sis is like 3 years older than me and we get along like really well! a lot better than most sisters i think...♥♪♫♥

<3nicole<3 on 8/7/2008 5:50:53 PM

I hear ya girl! Is there any way you can just camly talk to your sister? Start by apoligising, even though it might not have been your fault. You and your sis need to talk things out. Dont worry, things will get better! Smile

~*Kat*~

KatGirl911 on 8/7/2008 6:07:13 PM

try telling ur mom!

lucky charms on 8/7/2008 6:11:54 PM

ugh that happens with my sister too! I hate it and it brings out the worst side in me. Thanks sooooo much GL for putting this online! um...first comment? lol probably not! Smile

bushcoo64656667 on 8/7/2008 6:20:55 PM

Huh. Sounds like me and my 13 year old brother. Laughing
Don't worry, I doubt anything she says she means; you're both upset, and say things that you really don't think about until afterwards. Trust me, this kind of fight with guys isn't fun either -- but I'm a pretty tough girl, I guess, so I'm used to it and can usually save my butt. Smile But anyway. It'll pass. You're probably just both emotional and reactive to things easily. It'll pass, don't worry, same as my brother and I.

squeeners on 8/7/2008 6:22:36 PM

hannah----- girl dont worry about it. my sister has been mean to me for as long as i can remember and it hasnt stopped yet. i know how you feel.

s1309012 on 8/7/2008 6:32:35 PM

It's ok for sister to get into fight commonly I have 2 sisters of my own and they are both older than me and pick on me constantly but don't worry you'll get through it!

reezee7 on 8/7/2008 6:33:43 PM

OMG thats so true!! My sis and I fight too but we don't abuse each other...maybe some pinching but that's about it. Just ignore her at the time and she will see that you don't really care so she won't say anything to you. That's it.

kittylover101 on 8/7/2008 6:54:18 PM

Wow that's sad....

1st comment???!!!

GuitarGurl48 on 8/7/2008 6:58:50 PM

whos mod today?

bronte_fan7 on 8/7/2008 7:00:40 PM

why r there no comments yet?

bronte_fan7 on 8/7/2008 7:15:29 PM

Smile Smile Smile Okay, so I am an only child but I sometimes me and my cousins argue quite a bit. Sometimes you just need to stay at a friends house for a couple of days just to get away for a while. Do you seriously think your sister wishes that you are dead? Maybe you could tell your parents, but I don't know because I'm the only person. Just don't do anything to tick her off because that could just start another battle. Hope that I helped! Smile Smile Smile

girscouts2664 on 8/7/2008 7:16:01 PM

My brother and I also do that... And man it hurts... I dont tattle tell on him but he does it to me when he started it and I didn't do anything...And I pick the fight with my mom... But I all I remember when he does that is that I didnt do anything wrong and God knows that even if my mom doesn't. And God is the most important thing in MY life. Plus if you are the older sister like me You get to do a ton more so your brother or sister might get jealous and mad over that and take it out on you.. Haha.. It sounds unreal and untrue but its TRUE.

♥ always,
AllyJewel

allyjewel on 8/7/2008 7:22:16 PM

I fought with my sister like this last week and I'm ignoring her. Yes, try to walk away. I listen to music to make myself feel better, or talk to a close friend.

MunkQoo on 8/7/2008 7:32:58 PM

***MOD*** When are games coming to Girls Life Website? Just wondering (I saw it on the poll)! Thanks! I love the site!!!!!! Smile Smile Smile

girscouts2664 on 8/7/2008 7:34:13 PM

**MOD**
Okay, so I found this awesome summer camp. (For next summer, of course) It takes place on the campus of my dream college, and it's perfect for my interests. I would get to stay in a dorm, and have a roommate, and all that fun stuff. It sounds amazing. It's pretty far away though (more than a few states away) but my parents gave me the go-ahead. So I'm super excited for this camp, but at the same time I'm really nervous. I wouldn't know anyone, and I'd be super far from home. I know that I totally want to do this, but I kinda need to give myself that last little push to get up the guts to fill out the app. Any suggestions?

OnceUponAHappyEnding on 8/7/2008 7:39:12 PM

AHHH FIRST COMMENT!!!!!!! WAHOOO!

lexieloo2 on 8/7/2008 7:58:06 PM

That sounds like my friend, she has the same prob w/ her sis, but They all ways make up in the end!

happymarshmallow on 8/7/2008 8:53:17 PM

This Happens with me and my sis A LOT!!!! I'm 12 and she's 7... the odds of me getting in trouble more then her is almost all the time!
1st comment!?

chinchillas~rock! on 8/7/2008 8:56:15 PM

***MOD***MOD***MOD***MOD***MOD***MOD***MOD***MOD**** PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!!!! Last night, my crush told me that his parents were abusing him. I felt so bad for him because he was telling me all of these brutal stories about how his dad wouldnt let him eat for 2 days until he found the power cord for his laptop and how his dad trapped him in a corner and beat him for 4 minutes straight until he had to call 911. his mom is also really mean and she sounds kind of pyscho to me. he told me that he didnt want to tell an adult because he doesnt know wut would happen to him or his family but that he can handle it. im really really scared for him because what if something really bad happens to him where he wont be able to handle it??? i really want there to be something that i can do but i just told him that if he ever needed to talk , that i was there. please help !! what do i do!?!?


 


All you can do is to be there for him which is what you are doing.  The abuse is out of your hands.  If he is in contact with the police that is good.  Advise him to talk to a trusted adult.

sweetiehearts1212 on 8/7/2008 9:32:51 PM

MOD!!! I have a really big crush on this guy from my basketball lessons. The only problem is...he's about three years younger than me. I'm turning 12 next month and he's turning 9 next month. He's my friend's younger brother and the coach's son. Anyways, I'm worried about the age difference. Three years is a lot and he's not even going to the same school as me (I'm going to middle next year, he's in elementary)! Nevertheless, I still like him A LOT. I try to get over him, but I can't. Any advice on what I should do? PLEASE HELP!!!


 


It's normal to be attracted to people of different ages.  However, their maturity level is not the same as yours.  I would hold off he won't be as emotionaly mature as you are you may think he is cute but as far as a dating relationship he is way to young.

Xxmake.me.love.youxX on 8/7/2008 10:22:43 PM

crazy gurlie
~WOW!!! it *totally* sounds like he likz u! ;) GO 4 IT!

uhll on 8/7/2008 10:23:33 PM

NE1 WANNU CHAT??

uhll on 8/7/2008 10:25:07 PM

<><><>MOD<><><>

just a random question here, but how long does it usually take for a comment to be modded?

ttlredhead on 8/7/2008 10:36:13 PM

Wow that is sad!

jackbri on 8/7/2008 10:49:45 PM

sweetiehearts1212~~~

That must be AWFUL for him to go through! I know he thinks he can handle it but he can't. its up to you to tell someone. he'll probably be mad at you and might not even speak to you but its whats best for him. he needs to get out of there and in the end he'll thank you. look at this, it might help
http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/02/07/girl-talk-call-for-help.aspx

Good luck!!!

xoxoxo Kelly

prettybeachgirl on 8/7/2008 11:27:42 PM

omg sweetiehearts1212-
My friend was abused by her mom. She told me her mom would cut her wrist & her mom told her if anyof her friends ask it's cuz she was depressed [[like cut her wrist cuz of that]] but if her teachers ask it was her cat that did it. But we never saw her wrist till the day she all told us. Even her older brother abuses her by traping her in a closet & pulling her hair. she fianlly told the skool. & now she is in her dads hands & is all betterr. U should ask him to tell the skool u go 2. He mite feel guilty like my friend did. But it's the rite choice.

neonluv<3 on 8/7/2008 11:52:08 PM

pretty beach gal
~OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that u?????

uhll on 8/8/2008 12:04:28 AM

I really think that you should follow L'Oreal's advice. Also, try to be extra nice to your sister so she will be nice to you, preventing any more fights! Good luck! I have a twin sister, and we never really get physical, but sometimes we get into huge screaming fights about nothing! Every sibling fights with the other one, so know that fighting is normal. Hope things can get better between you and your sis!

ShopperSoccerGurl on 8/8/2008 12:40:22 AM

hey mod,
Do you know of any ways to dye your hair a dark breown without any hair coloring products you would buy from a store? I have naturally dirty blond hair and I want to colr it a dark brown. But my mom won't let me do anything perminate, but she will alow me to try a natural 'dye'. How can I make my hair a dark brown?


 


hey Girl, to be honest I have never heard of a natural way to make your hair darker, Ive only heard ways of making it lighter naturally.. check with your salon or hair dresser to give you some tips. *Cara T*

PeppermintC♫ on 8/8/2008 10:15:10 AM

okay what is up with parents who take it upon themselves to referee sibling fights? i mean i understand that they don't want to hear it but they fight and we don't butt in

BlondeBeachBabe on 8/8/2008 11:08:36 AM

Hey! I have the same problem with my sis 2, but l8y we've been getting along quite nicely!


P.S I have a problem I'm skipping the 8th grade to go to 9th and I really want to still be connected to my peers. I can't turn back (took summer school courses to skip) and I also know that I'm gonna make new friends.So should I stop focusing on my old pals and be more concerned in making new friends?

P.s.s- I don't want to seem like I'm turning my back on my friends!

Please help mods, or anyone who wants too. This has been drving me crazy!! Thanks :3 !!


orangeslice on 8/8/2008 11:11:12 AM

dear mod,
right now this guy whos kinda my friend is IMing me all these stories about all these "hot grls at camp!!" what does it mean, and what should i sa in respnse?? tnx!!


 


Hey Girl, he's prob just trying to make you jealous, just ignore it and change the topic. *Cara T*

luv2shop112 on 8/8/2008 11:15:31 AM

I have a problem too. My sister and I are really close in age, but she always keeps to herself, and when we fight she says I never leave her alone. That's not true! It drives me crazy. My friends all say they want a sister but I'm sure they don't want one quite like mine.

girlnextdoor123 on 8/8/2008 11:16:45 AM

hey orangeslice ,
WOW! U get to skip 8yh grade and go into 9TH , u must be , like a super genius or something.It's kind a curse and a blessing... I would suggest emailing , iming sending letters and talking on the phone to ur friends and on weekends have some fun!!! I hope everything works out OK!!!

thtswtgir on 8/8/2008 11:33:04 AM

(*)MOD!(*)
Ugh! I have a problem. There's this girl, umm let's call her Sharon. We were best friends through elementary school and were always together. Then when middle school came, we were seperated. We had different classes, lunches, and stuff like that. Well, it turned out being my best year EVER because I met to new girls, who are now my BEST friends and we all get along so well! Well, Sharon got super jealous. She told her mom I was "leaving her out" and made a big deal out of nothing! She even emailed me saying "it's ok if you don't want to hang out with me anymore, I know your new friends are probably so much more fun." I emailed her back, and just said "You will always be my friend, I just made some new friendships this year." She didn't buy it, and told her mom a lot of other things. Then this year, her mom went up tp our school and requested for us to have the same lunch and everything! Is it mean of me to wish that her mom didn't do that? Because I like her, I just enjoyed having sort of a "break" from her last year and making new friends. I'm sorry this is kind of long, but what should I do?


 


Hey Girl, its great that you made new friendships! And I know that you told her you guys will always be friends, but it seems like she may be the more sensitive type and you need to respect that especially since you have been friends for so long. Try making an effort to incude her in your new friends circle and making sure you still spend some one on one time with her! Its hard adjusting to new friends and old friends, just remember she clearly loves being around you and will prob always be there for you shes just a little jealous right now. *Cara T*

smiley-sarah on 8/8/2008 11:36:44 AM

hey OnceUponAHappyEnding ,
That sounds really fun , but I would be nervous too!! If u have one and are allowed , bringa cell phone so u can stay in youch and bring a stationary set so u can mail letters and pics. Also bring a camera ( disposable prolly should bring 2 or more) so that u can share pics w/ everyone. Don't be nervous , cuz every else who is new , is prolly just as nervous as u r!!!

thtswtgir on 8/8/2008 11:37:29 AM


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