Ashley V.

is modding

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Dear Carol

I have a million things I should do (and want to do), like keep up with schoolwork but, instead, I laze around and do nothing. Where's the inspiration?

Dear Totally Bored with No Inspiration,

We all have couch-potato days, but then it feels good to get busy. It could help to schedule something fun—IM chats, movies, skating—then use the hours beforehand to get lots done. A change of scenery might help too. Can you move from the bedroom to the kitchen to do homework? Or go to the library? If you feel overwhelmed, break work into small tasks. And talk to your parents about helping to motivate you. They might think up rewards to inspire you to take on challenges. Think of long-term goals, too. Can you take an art class or join choir? If you continue to feel a complete lack of motivation, you should talk to a counselor to see if something deeper is going on.

Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.

For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com

BY ANDREA T. ON 5/9/2008 11:30:00 AM 167 COMMENTS

167 READER COMMENTS

MOD!!
I need help! I have a really good personality and I'm always told I'm pretty and that I always have cute outfits. But then why do everytime I like a boy they say They wanna stay friends or Yeah shes pretty but then dont do anything? Im almost 14 and Im starting to feel left out of this game that is being played! Please help!
Thanks

Try flirting with guys and use your good looks to your advantage . If you flirt with them and get to know them, maybe they'll be more interested. -lauren

Posted by: Valerie on 5/9/2008 7:03:00 PM

HEY MOD!!! HELP!! PLS!!!
hey mod, my bgf is acting different. i used to go over to his house all of the time because my mom was bffs with his mom. we hung out a lot and had fun. we did fun stuff like ridn the 4 wheeler and playn video games. that wasn't but like a year ago. but now i'm in 7th grade and he's in 8th. he's always been a year older than me but we've still always had fun together. he doesn't say much to me in the halls and he acts like were not as close as we use to be. i'm feelin a little sad and i'm starting to think that he doesn't care about me as much.i know that he's goin through that cool guy stage, but it hurts. i still want to be close freinds, but does he? that's what troubles me! HELP!

Ask him if he wants to hang out sometime (either on your own or in a big group) and do something fun like bowling or a movie or just hang out. That way you can get your friendship going strong again

Posted by: hpcr on 5/9/2008 7:12:13 PM

***MOD***
Okay so im really good frenz with this guy. but lately all his frenz r saying he likes me. i dont no if i like him or not i mite but im not sure. im so confused about the whole thing. cuz wen i talk to him after school he usually like drifts away buut wen were alone he actually stands in 1 place and talks to me.IM SO CONFUZZLED!!!!!!!

First, decide whether you like him or not. He likes you, so he probably feels shy and awkward around you. If you decide you like him, then flirt with him, if you don't, don't lead him on. -lauren

Posted by: MusicIsMyLifeB&J_74 on 5/9/2008 7:22:46 PM

*MOD*
none of my comments i post show up and i have a really important question!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: MusicIsMyLifeB&J_74 on 5/9/2008 7:31:18 PM

Mod,
I'm feeling so awful right now. Tonight was the Spring Fling at my school, and let's just say I was expecting a lot to happen. My guy friend said he wanted to tell me who he liked tonight, and that I would "understand" why he wanted to tell me at the dance. Then on AIM he asked me if I wanted to dance with him and I said yes. (I kind of like him, by the way). When I got to the dance and I saw him the second thing he said to me was "You should've kept your hair straight, not curly." He never asked me to dance with him, or anything. Now when I got home we talked online again and he was like "Oh yeah, I don't like anyone anymore." and I kind of just ignored him and went away. What am I supposed to do? He kind of lead me on, and I feel so stupid for believing that he liked me.

Try talking to him and seeing who he likes, because he could have been lying. If he doesn't actually like you, then I'm sorry he lead you on. Just stay friends with him and look for a new cutie. -lauren

Posted by: xhellobeautifulx on 5/9/2008 7:57:12 PM

MOD,
I don't get how you do who is modding?

It says on the top left corner of the advice pages lauren

Posted by: mfriend123 on 5/9/2008 8:11:51 PM

Heyy Mod
So today at lunch I wrote a note to the guy I like with my number and a little note. We are doing a scene from Romeo and Juliet together for our english class. The note was asking if we could practice this weekend and for him to text me after school. Since I had no more classes with him I had my friend give it to him during her next class she has with him. She told me that he read kinda smiled then some guys took it and read it. So now Im pretty sure people know I like him and it will make it extremly awkward for us to do the scene next week in class. And he hasn't yet texted me and we have been out of school for over an hour!!! And I am pretty sure he likes me bcuz when we did the audition together our teacher was just randomly pairing us up, I got paired up with him, he said that she was making him do it against his will. Then after class I heard him tell the teacher he wanted to Romeo again and he enjoyed doing it!

Posted by: daydreamer!!!:) on 5/9/2008 3:44:37 PM

I am so bored! I am listening to "Forever" by Chris Brown. I heart that song! It is awesome, great beat, awesome lyrics, Chris is a cool guy! I love all his music.!!!

xoxox,
Madison

Posted by: Clique_Poseurs on 5/9/2008 3:58:55 PM

hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Lydinator on 5/9/2008 4:34:29 PM

***MOD***
Hey who is modding???

hey girl!

Ashley R is modding.

xoxo Ashley<3

Posted by: Lydinator on 5/9/2008 4:38:45 PM

***MOD***
Hey, One of my guy friends doesn't come to school very often lately and i've only seen him 3 times in the last 2 weeks. I really miss talking to him but don't have texting!! I don't want to call him because it would be too awkward. What do you suggest i do??

hey girl!

Try talking to him online or texting him more if you dont want to call him.

xoxo Ashley <3

Posted by: DC Girl on 5/9/2008 4:50:17 PM

to Clique_Poseurs:

haha that's funny!! you're listening to forever and i'm listening to take a bow by rihanna! and chris and rihanna r dating!!! i ABSOLUTELY ADORE TAKE A BOW!! i think it's her best song, cause it's more slow and deep, unlike dont stop the music, etc. i just LOVE IT!!! it's so melodic.

Posted by: gossip_girl550 on 5/9/2008 5:10:07 PM

hey MOD???
whats up^?

Posted by: Lydinator on 5/9/2008 5:10:12 PM

MOD
i love my best friend to death but sometimes i really think that she cant do things on her own. we were going to 8th grade graduation dress shopping but my mom wanted me to order it online so i did and told her after. she was kind of disappointed but shes fine now. today and yesterday she went shopping for her dress and has sent me at least 4 different pictures of her in the dresses, and then when i say i like one she says "are you sureeeeeee?" then i say "yes i promise" and she says "reallly are you 100% sure." and i say "yesss." and it sometimes goes on for a while. i afraid that if she keeps that up it will become a habit and could reallllly get annoying. how should i help her?

hey girl!

Just talk to our friend and tell her how you feel. Tell her you dont want this to become a habit and that you are worries about her. Tell her that you are there to help and support her, and is there for whatever she needs.

xoxoAshley <3

Posted by: :] on 5/9/2008 5:25:54 PM

yea i have the same problem

Posted by: CCHS13 on 5/9/2008 12:34:02 PM

Same exact problem. P:

Posted by: emjbiln on 5/9/2008 12:42:41 PM

SAME HERE! But it only started this year! Last year I would do stuff after dinner or after school, but now I slack off till like, right before bed!

Posted by: Miss~America on 5/9/2008 12:47:27 PM

MOD♥MOD♥MOD♥
OMG!!! ok so i have a totally awesome boyfriend and normally, people would totally be siked about wut happened to me today! he kissed me! just on the cheek but still! i am only 11 and i dont know if that is the right age! help plz!! plz help!!
♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

Hey girly! I am glad you have such an awesome boyfriend. He obviously liks you and he gave you a kiss on the cheek to express that. You should feel very complimented! If you're afraid that things are moving too fast for your age, you can tell your boyfriend to slow it down. But you have a boyfriend who likes you...what's to worry about? hugs, Abbie

Posted by: amelia3 on 5/9/2008 12:56:58 PM

***MOD***
Hey! Who's modding?

Hey! This is Abbie! What's up?

Posted by: Dog_luver on 5/9/2008 1:14:57 PM

heyhey♥
any1 here??

Hey girl! This is Abbie, the mod. What's up?

Posted by: monnymonny94 on 5/9/2008 1:27:44 PM

yep,that's me!

Posted by: prettycatholicgirl11 on 5/9/2008 1:54:01 PM

♥MOD♥MOD♥MOD!!!!!
HEY MOD!!
how are ya?
im good, a lil sad cuz i lost 2 zias's in 5 days, but im living..
ya so anyway.
im goin to the movies wit a friendof mine and i know that a certain cutiefrom anuther sckool that im friends with will be there.. what do u think ill look cute in?
were gunna see
What happens in Vegas
or
Maid of Honor
and BTW, im 12, have a 30 A-cup, an accual booty;) and i have hazle eyes with shoulder lenghth redish-brown hair, people say im really priity, and i have big features, and i luv 'em,
i was thinkin of wearin a blue GARAGE 3 quarter shirt with my pink american Eagle SHORT SLEAV zip-up, ...
wat do y athink of that??
and what shud i wear on my feet and legs??

BTW:: i live in Ontario, and its not cold but its not hot.. so /..;
ya
plzz! respond! the movie starts at 7;20 , and its 6;o6 now!
plzz & Thanx!
xoxo ♥

hey girl!

I think wearing jeans and a cute top ,with sneakers or sandals will be perfect for the movies, because you dont want to get too dressed up.

xoxo Ashley<3

Posted by: Bay-B Gurl 4 eva on 5/9/2008 3:08:10 PM

Dear Moderator,
I started going out with my BF 5 days ago. I really like him and he likes me! Where's the problem? My BFF wants us to break up so she could steal him! Yesterday she was like "He gave me a note saying if you tell me who you like I will tell you who I like and it's not Madison" She said that and I found out it wasn't true she just wants us to break up so she could have him! Today she said "S****** is about to be my new BF if I can break them up!" I knew she was a liar, she has lied to me before and stuff. I don't want to break up with my BF because she stole him, or lied about me. Yesterday she said "Yea he likes me." "I can get him if I want but you would get mad." YES I WOULD GET MAD! I like him! I really trust him but not her! I know I should never put a BF in front of a friend but she isn't a real friend! I have tried talking to her, telling her how I feel about this, EVERYTHING! Nothing is working! She makes me feel so bad about myself and so ugly and how my BF/friends use me to make others jealous when they don't! She says all this stuff to me about stealing him and how he likes her. I JUST WANT A LIFE WITHOUT HER!! I H8T HER!
xoxoxox,
Madison .

hey girl!

Your friend is probably jealous and wants you to break up with him so she can have a boyfriend. YOU really should talk to her about this and tell her what is on your mind, because you dont want to lose a friend over a boy. Tell her you really like your boyfriend and dont want things to change with him and that you are not okay with the things she has been doing to you.

xoxo Ashley<3

Posted by: Clique_Poseurs on 5/9/2008 3:13:23 PM

hey

Posted by: elmo~lovin life on 5/10/2008 8:25:54 AM

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
afraid of falling and getting hurt. So, instead, they sometimes take the
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to reach. The
apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come a long,
the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Share this with all the good apples you know.

GO FORTH AND CONQUER!!!

Posted by: bananahannah on 5/10/2008 9:43:48 AM

MOD:
I've always wondered. When's the right age to date? and most important. When's the right age to kiss? I dream about kissing a guy all the time, but idk if i'm ready, but i want to SO BAD! my live is TOOOOO confussing!?!?!

I think middle school is a good time to start dating and kissing. -lauren

Posted by: KaLi on 5/10/2008 9:59:45 AM

MOD
i had my first kiss last night.
it was at a dance, with my boyfriend.
i am 13 already and he is going to turn 13 in a week.
i feel so strange now !
like, i could never go back on this, this is it, that was my first kiss.
it was over really quickly, but i still wonder if i did it wrong or whatever.
i dont even know who initiated it.
our friend was trying to get us to kiss...
and he was like "just look into each others eyes and it'll happen."
we did and we just .. kissed.
a little insight on first kisses, or even kisses in general, please ?
i feel so happy, but so confused !

Hey girl, there really isn't anything to be confused about. You should be happy, and you are! So congrats on the first kiss lauren

Posted by: sapphire176 on 5/10/2008 10:03:20 AM

Hey Mod,
Can you help me(or anyone)? I have a boyfriend and haven't had the nerve to tell my parents. Its really hard to talk to them about this sort of stuff. A guy just asked me out. He, along with nearly everyone I know, can go places alone. I really want to be able to, but my parents say it isn't safe. Do you have any idea of how to convince them otherwise?

Your parents would be happy to hear that you have a bf, so just tell them. About going out alone... your parents are just looking out for you and want to to be safe. Try compromising with them (you could go out alone with a friend or only go out at certain times of the day). -lauren

Posted by: disaster on 5/10/2008 10:23:49 AM

***MOD***
Have the week 2's winners been posted yet?

Yep, they have been. -lauren

Posted by: hollywoodhorse on 5/10/2008 10:52:48 AM

MOD!
hey so i really like my bgf. a lot of my friends think he likes me back. just yesterday my bff and him started going out? i really thought he liked me, and maybe he still does! but how can i tell?

Try talking to him to see what's up. -lauren

Posted by: kaileyanne.001 on 5/10/2008 11:40:52 AM

mod i need help so my friend asked my crush if he liked anyone and he said no. Then someone idk who but i have people in mind told him that i like him. My friend is going to talk to tim agian about it and i was like u can't change someone mide if they said that he dosen't like anyone. So what should i do? MOD PLEASE HELP ME THANKS A BUNCH

Try flirting with him to get him to like you lauren

Posted by: daughtry lover on 5/10/2008 12:03:45 PM

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!OK!!!!! ALL BAND PEOPLES WILL KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN' BOUT!!! ok, sooo, we went to amarillo thurs/friday for greater southwest music festival! we thought we screwed up sooo bad, but we got perfect scores!!!!! all 0's!!! oh!!! and i had a piccolo solo! i normally play flute. i nailed my solo!!!! i did it perfectly!!! its REALLY important, cause how fast i play it sets the tempo for the rest of the song... i did it the PERFECT speed!!!ahhhh....i can relax now...oh! and we went to wonderland park thursday. I RODE THE INTIMIDATOR AND THE TEXAS TORNADO SOOO MANY TIMES!!!! oh, and we kept out principal hostage on the log ride thingy!!! we rode it 6 times in a row!!! we were SOAKED!!! so wuz our principal!! it was the best field trip EVER!!! sigh... i wish it wasnt over....i just wish the drive wasnt like, 5 hours long!!! lol!!! i slept, and then watched dvds and talked 2 buddies (and flirted w/guys!!! lol!)

Posted by: Emily_Luvs_Shoes (and boys and smileys and) on 5/9/2008 8:16:05 PM

uggg... i have leavin' by jessie mccartney stuck in my head!!! it wuz on the radio...that makes me sad....

Posted by: Emily_Luvs_Shoes (and boys and smileys and) on 5/9/2008 8:18:33 PM

me too!!! i just dont have the motivation to do my homework... im like, whats the point in wasting my time, if i could do stuff thats fun and what i like instead?

Posted by: Emily_Luvs_Shoes (and boys and smileys and) on 5/9/2008 8:19:31 PM

Hey Mod, I'm new on girlslife.com so I'm sorry if this bothers you. The other night I had a Rice Krispies Treat for dessert. The next day I puked about five times and had severe stomach and head aches. Today at lunch I had another Rice Krispies Treat and had a severe stomach for about 15 mins. What should I do? I already told my dad, and my mom lives in a completely different state.

Yikes, I think you shouldn't eat Rice Krispie Treats anymore! -lauren

Posted by: alyandajlover82 on 5/9/2008 8:37:04 PM

im so bored
MOD: how was ur day. i think my friend ( we'll call her taylor) taylor is becoming anorexic because today in class, she said that her mom calls her fat and that she was skipping lunch. she said it would only b that 1 time but it is a start to anorexia. what should i do? i really care bout her!?

Complement her frequently so that she feels good about the way she looks and keep telling her she doesn't need to lose weight. If she continues to not eat, talk to a counselor or trusted adult about it. -lauren

Posted by: raina90210 on 5/9/2008 8:39:45 PM

Mod****
i really like this boy but he has never talked to me. he probally doesnt know who i am. i have a friend that has her locker right next to his. i was thinking instead of going up to him and introducing myself(which noone does at school) i'd just stand in front of his locker while talking to my friends and then when he comes to his locker and ask me to move i'd be all like "oh. i'm sorryy hehe" but not sounding too flirty. is this a good start? or how to i get to meet him.?

Sure, you can do that as a start, but if you really want something to happen, you'll have to talk to him and get to know him. Try flirting with him soon! good luck, lauren

Posted by: i.love.cobra.starship [my moves are hot and I never stop] on 5/9/2008 8:45:44 PM

Mod Have you ever heard of anyone getting to where their throat feels really blocked up and their tongue feels a lot like it's gonig down my throat

Hey girl, yea usually that happens when someone is having an allergic reaction to something. You should talk to your mom about it and let her know what's going on!
~Kristin

Posted by: jesusxfreak2 on 5/9/2008 10:45:57 PM

-MODERATOR-
Need help now plz.
My dad accidently put dog flea stuff on the cat. Now she's twitching and her hair looks all weird.
I looked up on the computer what I should do and it said to give her a bath and take her to the vet.
I gave her a bath, buth she is still twiching. And we cant afford to take her t the vet. What should i do?!Is there anything else I can do to make her better?
She has kittens to, and should I keep her away from feeding them? Would they be okay?

HELP!

hey girl!

Keep the kittens away just in case. Try giving her another bath and waiting to see what happens. I would take her to an emergency care center for animals because they will know the best thing to do.

xoxo Ashley<3

Posted by: -band-geek- on 5/10/2008 3:07:23 PM

Posted by: boobah on 5/10/2008 3:11:09 PM

!!MOD!!

Posted by: MusicIsMyLifeB&J_74 on 5/10/2008 3:46:21 PM

i dont have that problem at all and do GOOD in shcool

Posted by: drtapper11 on 5/10/2008 4:00:22 PM

Hey Mod~
i am in swimming, dance, school, cheer, and volleyball i am way too stressed! my mom keeps pushing me to do MORE and more things and just cant do it anymore! i barely have time w/ my friends!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey girl!

Just tell your mom that you want to focus doing one thing that you love and that you cant handle doing all of these activities. Tell her you want to focus on one thing and be able to have a social life as well.

xoxoAshley<3

Posted by: beach_cutie on 5/10/2008 4:40:01 PM

Ah! MOD I need some advice D: Or anyone that is willing to help.
I'm not the very brightest in my family so when my mom and sister talk about stuff that I don't understand, I feel left out.
When I mention this they tell me that the only reason I feel left out is because I never speak up. So I've been trying really hard to speak up and say things that may not seem stupid to them - and sometimes it works - but not for long. Either I won't know anything else about the conversation, or I'll say something wrong and end up having them giving each other glances like I'm an idiot and end up having to say 'You know what I mean!'. I'm tired of feeling stupid. My friends don't really talk that much so I'm all alone. HELP!!

hey girl!

Just continue to try add to conversations. Maybe bring up a topic that you know a lot about that way you can talk about it and not feel stupid.

xoxo Ashley<3

Posted by: Talia on 5/10/2008 4:41:22 PM

Heyy Mod
In my English class were r doing scenes rom Shakespeare. Im doing Romeo and Juliet with the guy I like {Only the Balcony Scene, when they exchange their vows of love} I told him to text me and gave him number i told him I wanted to practice over the weekend. He said he was busy, I believe him. He still hasnt texted me. but now wat Im worrying most about is that it will make it even more awkward than what it already is to perform our scene. I am pretty sure he likes me too!
{P.S. He might be in my neighborhood right now at my neighbors B-Day party...}

hey girl!

Dont worry it will turn out great, YOu should text him and tell him that you want to practice so you guys do a good job. By hanging out and talking to him you will be able to tell if he likes you also.

xoxo Ashley<3

Posted by: daydreamer!!!:) on 5/10/2008 4:44:13 PM

Mod: I am going to the Panic At The Disco concert next weekend and I'm not sure what I should wear. My BFF is going with me and she doesn't know what to wear either. What do you suggest?

Hey girl, wear something that's comfortable and cute. Make sure you wont be too hot or cold in it too. Jeans and a cute tshirt with flats would be a good chocie. I'm sure you'll choose the right outfit either way!
~Kristin

Posted by: Pandaboo on 5/10/2008 6:01:31 AM

hey MOD, i have a problem: i crack constently; whether its my neck, knuckles, back, wrists, or even toes! and i cant STOP!!!!!!! help? its okay if you cant answer...

Hey girl, just try to stop yourself when you start doing it. Or only crack one thing a day or something like that. It's not that big of deal, but just take it one day at a time and I'm sure you'll stop doing it before you know it!
~Kristin

Posted by: abercrombiegurrl on 5/10/2008 6:02:55 AM

ok so this sounds totally lame so don't make fun of my for it but....i feel like i'm in love so here's the story:

Me and this guy reallyl iked eachother in october and ever sense i havn't stoped thinking about him.Like it's annoying i see him look at a girl or tlak ot her and i get sooo jealous because i want that ot be me.Like right now typing this i get tearing becuase i know he hates my guts but i like him soo much.
ANY HELP HERE?!?!?!?!

Posted by: ColortheWorld43 on 5/10/2008 6:19:37 AM

this is soo cool

Posted by: dancingrl <3 on 5/10/2008 6:43:47 AM

AGH! I have the SAME problem! And im really not doing hot ( F's ) in my Pyshical Science & Algebra class......

Posted by: flipflopdiva1234 on 5/10/2008 7:02:07 AM

LOGIN OR SIGNUP

Ashley V.

is modding

Dear Carol

I have a million things I should do (and want to do), like keep up with schoolwork but, instead, I laze around and do nothing. Where's the inspiration?

167 READER COMMENTS