How to rekindle a crush after you turned him down

A really good guy friend asked me out last year, but I turned him down. It didn’t hurt our friendship—we stayed close. About a year ago, he moved away and I didn’t see him the whole time he was gone. Now he’s back, and he’s looking really good. I’m totally crushing on him. Is it too late to try to rekindle a romance?

Dave: Rekindle? But there weren’t any sparks—at least in your campfire—in the first place. Still, it doesn’t sound like anything happened that would keep you from dating now. However, you might want to rehearse your “sometimes I make bad decisions I later regret” speech. Plus, there are a few things to consider before broaching the subject. While the friendship might have survived your initial rejection, can it handle the fallout of a full-scale breakup if things don’t work out? Can you still be friends if he doesn’t feel the same? Test those waters before jumping in.

Bill: Hmm…if we were to make a movie of your love life, we could call it Shallow Gal. I hope you’re not going after your friend solely because he’s “looking really good.” If you’ve been friends all along, you’ve got a decent head start on a meaningful relationship. Just be sure you like the whole person—not just his new and improved looks.

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