Copycat alert! Help your friend find her own style
Do: Build Her Up
Encourage your bestie to pursue her interests, mainly the ones that don’t line up with yours. Maybe she just isn’t confident enough to break into a new club on her own, and she needs your support to gather up the courage. So tell her how great her artwork is, or how smart she is. Then point out that she could really use those talents by joining the National Art Honor Society or the Quizbowl. Hopefully she’ll take the hint and give ‘em a chance.
Don’t: Take the Escape Route
The worst thing you can do to your shadow BFF is to quit a club after she joins. She’ll probably put 2 and 2 together, and realize that you’re trying to avoid her. And that’ll cause some major heartbreak. So even if she joins your newest club, too, don’t back out. Try to find your own friends within the club and to enjoy the new experience.
Do: Make Some Introductions
Try introducing your pal to some new people in the clubs that you guys have joined. Maybe they’ll have different interests than you that’ll capture her attention. And if not, at least she’ll have some other people to hang out with when that club meets, which means you can finally have a few minutes to yourself.
Don’t: Join to Join
It is definitely not cool to join a club that you’re not interested in at all just because you know your bestie would never follow you there. You’ll end up regretting it when you’re bored to tears in the meetings and have nothing in common with the other members. So don’t change your personality just because your pal is copying it – you had it first, and you deserve to keep it.
Do: Talk It Out
This one you’ve gotta be careful with because you can’t just accuse your BFF of totally copying you. Instead, try asking her what got her interested in the club, and if she doesn’t have a good answer, you can then steer her toward another activity that might be more up her alley. Maybe your questions will get her thinking about her real motives for joining, and she’ll take the hint that you don’t need a living, breathing shadow.
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