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What it's like growing up a child of divorce

Growing up as a child of divorce is never easy and neither is accepting step-family. When I was five years old, my biological father and mother got divorced and at seven my mom married my step-dad.

Ever since I was young I struggled with my biological father being in and out of my life. It was so unfair being a kid and not understanding why my father didn’t want to see me and my brother. The emotional damage began to build up and I was struggling to understand what a healthy father-daughter relationship was like.

The further away my biological father and I grew apart the further I grew apart from his family. As I got older, I realized how toxic that family was and how they didn’t treat me like family at all. I believed that because we shared the same genetics they had to be my family. As a teenager, I realized that it was time to let go of that part of my life for my emotional health.

Our whole lives we see the picture perfect family without divorce and the idea that family is who is biologically related to us. The majority of my family has dealt with divorce. All sets of my grandparents were divorced and so were my step-dad’s. All of his family treated everyone like family, even the divorced or remarried.

The picture of what family meant to me started to drastically change. Family are those who who support you, who love you unconditionally, and choose to be in your life forever. I was born with a family who didn’t choose me, but I gained a family who chose me and wanted to keep me.

I don’t see my step-family as my step-family. They are my family and I know they see me the same way. We may not be able to control who we gain in our lives, but we can choose to accept them. Family is forever so choose the family that wants you as much as you want them.

How have you dealt with step-family? Tell us in the comments below.

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by Bella Torres | 9/21/2017
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