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4 questions to ask yourself before you try to be friends with your ex

You have spent weeks, months or maybe even years dating another person. You shared memories, secrets and even Netflix passwords! Then for some reason, one of you decided to end things.

Often times during a break up, we are not only losing our boyfriends, but also our best friend. This makes the thought of moving on even more difficult. So what happens next between you two? Should you try to be friends? Can two exes really be friends? Well, it depends. Here are four questions to ask yourself before you welcome your former boo back into your life.

1. Is it too soon?
If you were the one doing the dumping, you might have to wait longer, as your ex may need time to heal before they want to be friends. If vice versa, it's really up to how fast your heart heals.

2.  Would you be okay with them dating someone else?
If it takes you a while to answer this question, you may not be ready to be friends yet—and there's nothing wrong with that! If the thought of your ex dating someone else makes you feel genuinely happy for them, you can build a solid friendship.

3.  Why did you break up and are you over it?
If something serious happened that led to you and your ex calling it quits, you need to get over that before you are able to be friends. If you cannot forgive and forget, your friendship will not survive. If you two just did not work as boyfriend/girlfriend and the spark was not there, you can probably continue on as friends. 

 4. Have you stopped fixating on him/can you talk about him without becoming upset?
If you are still constantly thinking about him and talking about him makes you worked up, the wound of your break up is probably too fresh to try to force a friendship. In fact, being friends may make it even harder for you to move on. Take some time for yourself and understand why it was best that you broke up before you rush into a friendship.

Regardless of where you are in your breakup, know that this is an opportunity for a fresh start. Break ups happen because something is broken and the first step to moving on is recognizing that things did not work out for a reason, and some things cannot be fixed. Take time before you say "yes" to being friends and, if you do want to be friends, wait until you feel good about yourself and your new life. 

What do you think? Should you ever be friends with an ex? Let us know in the comments below! 

by Shiran Zecharya | 3/14/2017
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