Tough Stuff
About month ago I walked home from school with my friend. My friend went down one street, but I had to keep walking to get to my house. While I went down the street I heard a loud car driving really slowly, and then they opened their doors and completely stopped their car. They offered me a ride; they were about two 20-year-old men. It really scared me, and I never told anyone, because I didn’t want me parents to go off and call the police or anything. I didn't know the men. I don’t think I did the right thing at all. Now I’m paranoid of being kidnapped. What should I do? Should I have told? Is it really that big of a deal?
-paranoid-of-kidnappers
Ever hear of the saying “There’s safety in numbers”? It’s so true. Even when I’m at the mall, my mom reminds my sister and I to stay together. Listen hon, I’m not trying to scare you, but there are scary people out there and you absolutely have to be careful all the time.
You obviously did the right thing by not getting in the car with those men. But you definitely should have told someone. If you didn’t feel comfortable telling your parents, you could’ve called another relative or told one of your teachers the next day. Since you’re still feeling a little overwhelmed by the situation, it may not be a bad idea to talk to your school guidance counselor about what you’re going through. It’s totally natural to feel the way you do and no one is going to judge you.
Remember, better safe than sorry. Next time you walk home, be sure to take at least one other friend with you. If this isn’t possible, find out if you can take the bus, carpool with a friend, or have one of your relatives pick you up from school. You didn’t overreact; you did do the right thing. While, thankfully, nothing happened this time, you never know what could happen, so it’s important to be on your guard all the time.
Lots of love,
L’Oreal
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BY ANDREA T. ON 10/7/2008 3:35:00 PM 62 COMMENTS
I have this problem where I just feel so alone and empty all the time. My BFF and I used to be super close, but now we don't really do anything together. She's been hanging out with another girl, and so I kind of feel "replaced." And the rest of my friends and I aren't really that tight. I have a lot of self-image issues, such as I never think I'm pretty or just that I'm fat, and why would anybody want to be my friend. And I also think that I have no talents because I know a bunch of people who can do that stuff better than me. I'm always venting into a journal and drawing, but it doesn't help at all, sometimes it just makes me feel worse. And when I tell my parents (I have MAJOR trust issues so I don't really tell them anything) they'll just say something along the lines of "Oh, get over it" or "stop being a baby". Sometimes I think that it's because I might have Social Anxiety Disorder because I can't go three minutes without worrying about what others might think of me. How do I tell somebody, and what do I tell them?
--Anonymous
Girl, I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, but at one point in my life, I really felt low about myself and thought I was no good compared to everyone else. Let me tell you that you are DEF not alone in this. But guess what? I promise you, that you will soon realize that you are PERFECT and that you don't need one friend to fulfill you. Got it?
So you said that your BFF has been hanging out with another girl more than she has been with you. You feel "replaced?" Please don't! I don't think she realizes what she is missing out on by not spending more time with YOU! But, I really think that you should find a group of friends and not depend on one. You will learn so much about yourself and friendships by interacting with more than one close friend. Get involved with a club at school or a sports team in the community, where you will be forced to make social ties!
You will only realize how awesome you are and your talents once you push yourself just a little. Don't ever, EVER compare yourself and your talents with other people around you...because you should be living life FOR YOU (and the ones that you love). What's life, if you're going to be worried all the time about what people think? Think how YOU want to see YOURSELF! (:
I think it's so cool that you draw and write in your journal about what goes on and how you feel. But at the same time, remember that you have people who care about you and want to know what's up! Take advantage of this and although you said you have trust issues, break that bondage. Take a risk and tell somebody something, anything!
I know I don't know you personally, but I truly believe that you are a beautiful individual and I cannot wait until you realize it. Push yourself to step out of your comfort zone and really live your life to the fullest! I KNOW you can do it!
<3, Sharon
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BY ANDREA T. ON 9/30/2008 3:28:00 PM 70 COMMENTS
My grandmother has Alzheimer's disease and can’t remember stuff like how many kids she has and what she said a couple of seconds before. It's been really hard on my whole family and mostly my mom. I think about it ever night and its really weird being around her. Talking to my mom is out of the question.
-Anonymous
I am so sorry about your grandmother. My great grandfather was afflicted with Alzheimer’s and it was VERY difficult to see the disease take over him. What got me through it was realizing that for my grandfather, he didn’t know anything else. He was convinced that it was 1950’s, he forgot that his wife died of lung cancer and his sister passed away shortly after. In a way it was a blessing. Its never easy to see our loved ones slowly lose their sense of reality and of course your mom is going to take it hard. We never think that our parents are capable of becoming frail, we assume that they will take care of us for forever when in fact, towards the end WE will be taking care of THEM. That’s just the way life goes. Take comfort in the fact that your grandmother has lived a long and productive life. She raised a family and was around to see her grandchildren born. That is a miraculous feat in itself. To make things easier for yourself, maybe it would help to get the details of the disease so you know for sure what is happening. It might also help if you made some sort of scrap book with pictures of your grandmother and your family, then you can go through it and explain to her who everyone is.
XO,
JANA
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BY ANDREA T. ON 9/23/2008 6:07:00 PM 33 COMMENTS
My dad is an alcoholic. He is a really nice guy when he doesn’t drink but turns into a monster when he does. He doesn’t hit me or anyone, but he tells me I’m stupid and uses other hurtful words. Worst of all he doesn’t remember doing any of this, and he wont admit he’s an alcoholic. There are so many reasons why he needs to stop, he has ulcers and reflex, and his medicines are poisonous with alcohol. Please help!
-Anonymous
Hey, babe. This is a serious issue that you need to do something about quick. Sure, your dad's a nice guy and I'm sure he loves you very much, but the drinking needs to be limited or come to a stop.
So you've talked to your dad and he says he doesn't remember saying mean things to you. Next time this happens, have a witness by your side. I don't suggest talking back or doing anything too dramatic when he is drunk because you don't know what would happen. Having a witness will be helpful when explaining to your dad the next day how he gets when he drinks. You said his drinking affects how he takes his medicine. Talk to him about how serious it is for his health.
I definitely think you need to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him. He needs to know that his actions are affecting not only him, but people who he cares about around him.
Also, you really need to talk to your mom or another trusted guardian about this situation. Let them know how you feel when your dad drinks. This is so important because hurtful words can turn into something bigger later on. Get help soon, girl.
<3, Sharon
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BY ANDREA T. ON 9/16/2008 1:59:00 PM 44 COMMENTS