GIRL TALK: The Odd Girl Out

-Jealous
 
 
Everyone is allowed to have more than one friend. Maybe you are jealous because you see this girl as your ONLY friend and you are worried that if she ever starts hanging out with other people, you will be left alone. This is a reasonable thing to worry about but it should also be a red flag indicating that you need to get out there and meet some more people. It's OK to have more than one friend, in fact it's necessary that you don't depend on just one person. Meeting people cultivates necessary social skills. It was mean of you to say no to inviting her friend out. She obviously wants you to like her knew friend and I think you are being judgemental, which is closing you off to possibly gaining a new bud to hang with. Remember that if you are friends with the new girl, this means more quality time with you BF simply because you can ALL hang out instead of having to trade shifts. Friends change and they split up and come back together again. The people were once friends with won't necessarily be your friends in 5 years just like girls you hated a year ago could end up being your BFFs. Take it from me, i HATED my BFF growing up. But in 8th grade we ended up taking the same bus to school and she is my soul mate. Don't cut people off before actually getting to know them, they may surprise you. As my mom always says, " Say yes to everything except drugs." Being open to new experiences and new people is going to change your life for the better. I promise.
 
XO,

BY ANDREA T. ON 10/8/2008 12:42:00 PM 32 COMMENTS

 

GIRL TALK: Boy Crazy?

-Anonymous


Hmm…let’s review the facts here.  You got your friend’s crush’s number for your friend and your BFF calls you “Boy Crazy”?  Seems as though she’s exaggerating just a bit.  It sounds like you were just trying to help your friend, which makes you a good person, not “Boy Crazy.”

Next time your BFF decides to call you names, kindly let her know you don’t appreciate it and ask her to stop.  Find out why she feels the need to call you “Boy Crazy.”  Is she jealous of your natural ability to get along with guys?  Maybe she secretly wishes she could be more like you.  Whatever the reason, it doesn’t give her an excuse to be rude to you.

Chances are, you girls are just having a little misunderstanding.  There’s no reason to let it ruin your friendship.  You could also try explaining to your BFF that you weren’t trying to make moves on your friend’s crush, you were just trying to help her out.  Hopefully she understands…and maybe she’ll even ask for some pointers on being friends with guys!

Lots of love,

BY ANDREA T. ON 10/1/2008 5:50:00 PM 61 COMMENTS

 

GIRL TALK: Everyone Else Does

-Anne

Hey, sweets. So your friends have been runnin' their potty mouths around ya, huh? Maybe some friends do it to be cool and maybe some do it just because they are around it a lot. I know it can be really annoying to hear, especially if you are not into that kinda language! So..what to do?

It def wouldn't be a good idea to end your friendships with these peeps just because they cuss. Friendships are based on much more than that. But if it really bothers ya, you gotta put your foot down!

Tell your friends that it really bothers you when they cuss. Because it is their personal choice whether they do it or not, you can't really tell them what to do. But as your friend, they should respect that you are uncomfortable when they do this. Ask them politely to hold off on the cussing if they can when they are around you! Totally fair, right?

So instead of being super angry or defensive about this whole cussing business, just ask them not to do it around ya. In the end, it is their choice to cuss, not yours. Talk it out and things will def get better!

BY ANDREA T. ON 9/24/2008 11:24:00 AM 79 COMMENTS

 

GIRL TALK: Who Says?

-Libby


You’re absolutely right!  Exactly who gets to decide what is “normal” and what is “weird”?  No one, that’s who!  So you’re a little bit different, that doesn’t make you weird—it makes you unique.

In middle school I was teased relentlessly for being smart.  I was the “teacher’s pet,” a “smartie pants,” “nerd”…you name it, my classmates and so-called friends called me it!  And I’m not going to lie—it’s not the best feeling in the world.  But try to understand what I had to learn the hard way.  You should never, ever let anyone make you feel bad about the way you are.

Definitely try talking to your friends about how their teasing makes you feel.  You could say, “Hey, I know you probably don’t mean anything by it, but it really hurts my feelings when you guys call me weird.  I just think it’s really offensive and rude.”  This gives them an opportunity to understand where they’re coming from and a chance to try and change their ways. 

Remember, no one can change overnight, so try to be patient with your friends.  But if they continue to be rude, it may be time to rethink your friendship.  More than likely, they probably don’t even realize they’re hurting your feelings.  You’re a smart girl and that’s great! You don’t have to apologize to anyone for your brainpower.  Embrace that wonderful noggin of yours and be proud of who you are!  Besides, there’s a little bit of “weird” in all of us…and that’s a good thing!

Lots of love,

BY ANDREA T. ON 9/17/2008 1:14:00 PM 96 COMMENTS