Ask Bill & Dave
My BF has been acting strange. He’s all super sweet one day, barely shows me he loves me the next. I asked if he had thoughts of breaking up, and he said, “No, I love you.” Should I be worried, or is this just one of those weird confusing guy things?
BILL: You listen to a great song for the first time, and you can’t wait to hear it again and again, right? After a while, you know the song so well you don’t need to hear it as often to know you love it. Relationships are kind of like that. You can’t get enough of each other at first. But, eventually, that sense of urgency eases up, and you discover you care about each other in a more stable way. Nothing to be worried about.
DAVE: It’s boring to go out with someone who’s exactly the same all the time. Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle…gets old (even a little annoying). Never knowing when your beau is going to ring your cell shakes things up a little and makes it unpredictable. Go with it.
BY ANDREA T. ON 1/3/2009 10:00:00 AM 97 COMMENTS
I have a mega-crush on this boy, but I used to go out with his buddy (who is very rude to me now). I really want to talk to the new guy but, whenever I try, I get interrupted by my ex.
BILL: Harsh! Tacky behavior by the ex, don’t you think? As much fun as it would be to tell Ex-Man to jump in a lake, take the high road. Casually approach your ex-BF, and tell him you have no hard feelings toward him and want to be friends. You could be pleasantly surprised at how he reacts to some sound reasoning. A friendly chat might be all he needs to ease the tension.
DAVE: Your ex still has a thing for you. He’s jealous that you are directing your attention and, potentially, your affection toward one of his buddies. He can’t stand the thought of a) not being with you and b) his bud being with you. What to do? Bill says talk to the ex, I say keep lurking around and get to know the new guy. If he’s tuned in, he should be able to figure out what’s going on. If he wants some private time with you, he’s got the wherewithal to make that happen—and he will.
BY ANDREA T. ON 12/27/2008 10:00:00 AM 100 COMMENTS
I really like this guy, and he likes me too. But he wants me to have holiday dinner at his house and meet his folks! Is he getting too serious?
DAVE: What’s the problem? A guy who makes such a sincere gesture as asking you to meet his parents is a refreshing change from the way many immature guys go about getting “serious.” Take him up on the offer, and reciprocate with an invite to meet your folks. Don’t think of it as serious, just normal. Nothing wrong with that.
BILL: He likes you enough to want his family to meet you, and he seems to have a good relationship with his parents, which means he’s probably a pretty decent dude. Just be careful not to break the Waterford, and don’t forget to compliment his mother’s roast turkey. Even if it tastes like jerky.
BY ANDREA T. ON 12/20/2008 10:00:00 AM 105 COMMENTS
I’ve been great friends with this guy since third grade. Now, all he cares about is his new girlfriend. I’m hurt, and he’s so immature he won’t even talk about it.
BILL: Hmm. Doesn’t sound too cool. You can really judge someone by how they treat true friends, and your buddy might need to ask the court for an appeal. But he’s innocent until proven guilty, and there may be extenuating circumstances. Maybe his girlfriend is jealous of your friendship. Perhaps this is his first big crush, so he’s sinking all his time and energy into her. Be patient, and don’t jump to conclusions.
DAVE: There’s a good chance the girlfriend will be temporary. If not, he should want you to be part of his life again soon. If she’s pressuring him to squelch the friendship, then he needs to make a decision. It’s often difficult for a guy to have several girls in his life—even if he is only dating one of them. Eventually, he’ll figure out the best balance so you can get some hang time with him.
BY ANDREA T. ON 12/13/2008 10:00:00 AM 90 COMMENTS